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Supervised if course!! Hi Leccy
Oh yes! Hello Z 
Reference: Z
Oi!!! Don't get all Northern in here.. I am from the South thy knows
Y cn still undastand wuh tho 
So... multi-coloured lights? ... monocolour? ... flashing? .. some wierd 'disco' sequence that would only make sense with Ministry of Sound playing?
Z.
Z.
Our tree consists of a 2 foot wonderful pre decorated imitation of the top bit of a real tree.. I put tinsel on it. My decorating abilities know no bounds
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Ah.. A Christmas Zen Master .. respect Z.
the only thing I'll have to watch them with is the placing of the lights, so they don't get tangledReference:
Our tree consists of a 2 foot wonderful pre decorated imitation of the top bit of a real tree.. I put tinsel on it. My decorating abilities know no bounds
.. and the lights?Z.
No have trained them well I tell them where to put it 
so they doing it but I have control but saying that my son didn't help this year and made me sad, but I'm over it now
so they doing it but I have control but saying that my son didn't help this year and made me sad, but I'm over it now Reference:
Then there is the unusual Cat & Dog cooperative... Cat knocks baubles off the tree.. Dog crunches it to bits and gets the blame... never trust a cat!!
Excited Jack Russell puppies on their first Christmas are the worst. Rush at the tree, growling? Check. Jump up and try to dislodge/eat trimmings? Check. Get back into basket when told off, but sneak out to carry on when you think no-one's looking? Check.
Get sooo excited, you leave a little parcel of tinselly poo on the carpet for the first person to come downstairs with bare feet next morning? Ohh, yes...
Wot lights
Ohhh you mean Christmas tree lights. I gave up the candle kept falling off
Ohhh you mean Christmas tree lights. I gave up the candle kept falling off
extra deckies
Nobody and i mean nobody gets near my tree but me. Christmas isnt for fun you know.
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Get sooo excited, you leave a little parcel of tinselly poo on the carpet
Makes a change from leaving a mince pie for Santa Z.
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Nobody and i mean nobody gets near my tree but me. Christmas isnt for fun you know.
See!!! I knew I was right... can you effect a menacing yet protective snarl as well?Z.
I dont do subtle a loud cry of 'get the hell away from the tree' usually does the trick. 
I tell you its like a wonderful life round mine
I tell you its like a wonderful life round mine Reference:
I dont do subtle a loud cry of 'get the hell away from the tree' usually does the trick. I tell you its like a wonderful life round mine
Come Jan 6th you must be gutted Z.
ohh no zaph, then i can start to work with easter blackmail 
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ohh no zaph, then i can start to work with easter blackmail
So... you are responsible for Cadbury's Creme Eggs turning up at the end of January? Gah! 
Z.
There are already Creme Eggs in my corner shop. Course, they could have been there since last Easter..
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There are already Creme Eggs in my corner shop. Course, they could have been there since last Easter..
Date Code is your friend 
. mind you I am reliably informed they are turning up now in Cadbury's Heroes Z.
Well I let my daughter put the fairy on top of the tree but she couldn't even manage that 
She managed better last year and she was only 7 months
She managed better last year and she was only 7 months
Kids today eh? tut tut
Z.
Z.
Mrs Trollop splashed out on those strings of beads...all red and gold. Our tree looks like a camp 1920's Charleston Dancer....
we put ours up because the kids said they would not come for Christmas dinner if we dis not put it up. after much thought we may take it down and have a quite christmas
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we put ours up because the kids said they would not come for Christmas dinner if we dis not put it up. after much thought we may take it down and have a quite christmas
an Anti-Kids deterrant Z.
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Mrs Trollop splashed out on those strings of beads...all red and gold. Our tree looks like a camp 1920's Charleston Dancer....
Do do .. Do do .. do do dobee do do ... do do .. do do .. do do do dooooZ.
Noone goes near my tree, broken fingers hurt....
See!! I am not wrong then
Z.
Z.
Finished
Perfect James
Z.
Z.
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Excited Jack Russell puppies on their first Christmas are the worst. Rush at the tree, growling? Check. Jump up and try to dislodge/eat trimmings? Check. Get back into basket when told off, but sneak out to carry on when you think no-one's looking? Check. Get sooo excited, you leave a little parcel of tinselly poo on the carpet for the first person to come downstairs with bare feet next morning? Ohh, yes...
now thinking about drawing tree on wall but then knowing Titan (Jack Russell 8mths old - spooked & barks at everything) he'll just scratch till there is nothing left. Oh sh!t mind he wears his santa suit quite happily 
no-one is allowed near my tree but me
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no-one is allowed near my tree but me
I'm gonna PM your Aimee & get her to move a few things around
Touched a nerve then
Z.
Z.
my kids know the drill... Its never gonna be a happy Ditty day... the day I give up and finally put up the tree.... so they know to not cross the threshold of the room... not make sarky comments.
They may approach the tree when it is done... but not touch!
Those caught foraging for crackers or tree chocs are dealt with severely.
They may approach the tree when it is done... but not touch!
Those caught foraging for crackers or tree chocs are dealt with severely.
Oh... and whilst not so relevant now...
No 'home made' (this includes made at school and made at nursery) toot on the tree... not even at the back!
No 'home made' (this includes made at school and made at nursery) toot on the tree... not even at the back!
Oh, am I sposed to get crackers and tree chocs for a fibre optic? 
I do....
the tree chocs are a bugger to get on the fibre optic trees though... pre-knot the string!
the tree chocs are a bugger to get on the fibre optic trees though... pre-knot the string!
Ah....top tip................ta
I remember when we had the dog coming down to a thoroughly ravaged tree.. The wrappings of the chocolate decorations well and truly chewed and spat out all over the floor. Dog did not get in again for a few hours. Those choc were mine... MINE!!