and the blonde one drunk the wine on the way over 

Now that's what I call style

Noooooooooo, it's bad manners!

Yeah, but if you've got to have bad manners ...

the chilli was too strong and this comes from the woman who insists Jamaican food is the best because it's spicy 

Yes ! She is going to play tactics .....in fact I think they all will , apart from blondie  

No truffle oil for the truffle mash.

Oh dear ....his main is a disaster darling

Yeah but horseradish will do  

Dark haired lady will definitely be tactical.

Cutlery alert ! John is eating like a gannet !

this is what happens when you cook in someone else's house - you burn the food because you don't know how to work the equipment 

John is trying too hard to be Moby 

Yes, because truffle and horseradish are so alike, you can't tell the difference.

The whale?

John is a pain , and is making my slapping hand itch !!

Well he's certainly a D..K

what's wrong with substituting one for t'other? 

the singer (and he's a plonker too) 

True.

Oh there's a surprise ....akee and salt fish

just for a surprise we get saltfish and ackee from a West Indian 

I like oxtail and I like pear flan but she can keep the rest.

I'll just have the pear flan ta

bone fetish 

Just what you want at a dinner party ....here , feel my gastric band !

Why would someone who has a gastric band fitted, go on a cooking and dining programme?

that oxtail doesn't look gawjuss to me   my dad used to love eating it 

John's table manners are making me shudder

Me neither !

because they're an attention seeking cycle path 

Drat, they seem to like her food.

Cycle path.

he's disgusting   and a perv 

Oh grief ... Don't mark her up !!

I'm so used to saying that now instead of psychopath   it's all Milo and his friends fault 

Yes...seems a bit like it !

He's very strange.