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Day 13: You say you want a Rylan revolution

28 mins ago

As we know, there's been quite the regime change in the Big Brother House today. Housemates can't complain too much – there are plenty of prunes to eat and they've got a lovely, clean uniform to wear. But still, despite their glorious leader Frankie Dettori taking care of housemates basic ration requirements, there's talk of revolution in the air.

Rylan may seem an unlikely revolutionary leader but due to circumstances beyond his control, he finds himself in the frame for a sneaky slice of sabotage.

The X Factor singer's been talking in hushed tones of the fact he's been influenced by Big Brother to get himself chucked in jail. Claire and Gillian are in on the plan and got a little over-excited, but Rylan's playing it cool. Telling the ladies to "chill", he shared the details of the plot.

Housemates are expected to line up and praise Frankie's mighty regime, but Rylan's got some insider info. If he successfully gets himself thrown in the slammer after giving Frankie some lip, he might well find tools to topple Dictator Dettori's brutal oppression.

Viva la revolution, Rylan-Style!

Scotty

Day 13: Frankie blinded by power

9 mins ago

During the grand allegiance ceremony in the garden, Rylan committed a grievous act of dissent against Frankie Detorri the people's dictator of the great state of Celebrity Big Brother.  The event was supposed to be a celebration of the great Italian and housemates were called forward individually to kiss his crop (We said CROP) and say why they loved him.  Each dug deep praising everything from his culinary skills to his aroma until it came to Rylan.

Looking like a more fashion-forward Che Guevara, he said, in a sombre voice: "You're out of order for taking our food and stuff."

There were gasps all round.

Minutes later Rylan was escorted to jail, a cold pen set up in the garden.

This – according to Oppressed People Guide – is an inevitable consequence of insulting a dictator.

But little does the complacent leader realise that ending up in the slammer is part of Rylan's revolutionary plan. There he was able to pick up a bundle of dynamite, clearly left by fringe members of the far-reaching anti-Frankie organisation. Now, dynamite isn't usually a purely decorative object. Look like sparks will fly before this regime is over.

Meanwhile the tiny tyrant is sitting in his ornate chamber receiving a foot massage from Gillian oblivious that the ground is sliding out from under him. Those dark glasses have blinded him to more than light...

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Rylan unenthusiastically waves his Frankie flag

 

 

As a final insult, Rylan throws the flag at the departing dictator

 

 

Guard Ryan takes him away

 

 

Doing the jailhouse rock

 

 

Why that pampered puppet politician!

 

 

 

Scotty

 

Day 13: A date for dinner with The Dictator

25 mins ago

Sitting in his ivory palace – known as the Golden Palace thanks to the sparkling palatial surrounds – the housemates' glorious leader, Lanfranco Dettori has been out and about rather a lot today, mixing with the hoi polloi and spreading goodwill.

Goodwill only stretches so far, however. Considering the meagre rations dished out to housemates and considering one of their number's already been imprisoned for dissent, it's amazing Frankie's not been overthrown already. The fact that an uprising's already in the works is completely understandable.

In an act that could be considered a bit 'bread and circuses' if you were in a cynical mood, Dictator Dettori's decided to invite two ladies to dine in style with him in his ostentatious retreat this evening. Arriving in the garden in his Dictator-mobile where the empty-stomached peasants grudgingly waved their flags for the umpteenth time today, he announced that Claire and Lacey were his dining companion picks due to their facing eviction tomorrow night.

You can't question his rationale when it comes to the selection, even if you'd quite rightly express contempt at his soul-destroying regime. Once dinner's over, however, change may well be in the air.

Scotty

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