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Ye skelpt it
Jeeeezo.. singed,then skelpt?! Nae luck! 
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Huz a quick shifty in ra door fur any burnin' beavers*
The burnin bush is aff the menu the nightReference:Granny! 
Yeese'ave aww hid a rerr terr wi aw the singed fuds n a canny stoap laffin
Hullawrerr! Reference:
Wor Geordie, the sim one what lost is penker befoh, wuz gannin' tappy lappy doon the raa when ee fancies a bottle o' dog. Ee gans through the doh n steps on a payl o dog mess, skids across the floh and hits 'is heed on the bor. Later on minds another gadjie comes through the doh and skids on the shite an aah, just as Geordie's comin back frum splashin 'is boots. "I just done that!" said Geordie. "Why ya dorty bastard!"
Reference: Slinx
The burnin bush is aff the menu the night
The hoaspitals 'n' ra firestations wull be hingin aboot wi nut'n tae dae
Slinki 
!
What yu's aal gaaan on aboot noo ?
Jesus, Mary and Holy St Joseph, sure it's mad you're all after getting it's really gas in here though onyways yer bunch of fecking amadÃĄns I'm away for myself - good luck so
it's really gas in here though onyways yer bunch of fecking amadÃĄns I'm away for myself - good luck so 
Reference:
Wor Geordie, the sim one what lost is penker befoh, wuz gannin' tappy lappy doon the raa when ee fancies a bottle o' dog. Ee gans through the doh n steps on a payl o dog mess, skids across the floh and hits 'is heed on the bor. Later on minds another gadjie comes through the doh and skids on the shite an aah, just as Geordie's comin back frum splashin 'is boots. "I just done that!" said Geordie. "Why ya dorty bastard!"
Eh dinna ken wha posted that bit eh hid tae run awa tae the toilet - jist made it.
Hi nutcases
LOL ^^^^^^^
Hiya Scottie, how y' daein?
Hiya Scottie, how y' daein?
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Hiya Scottie, how y' daein?
! A weegie sprout!
LOL Slnki. Pronounced (dee in)
Hiya ma wee sprout.
Em daein jist fine the noo. Hope yir the same hen.
No lookin` forwird tae goin` in the toon the morra tho.
Snaws nearly up tae ma lugs. Murder polis.
Em daein jist fine the noo. Hope yir the same hen.
No lookin` forwird tae goin` in the toon the morra tho.
Snaws nearly up tae ma lugs. Murder polis.
Reference: Carlly Slinki
A weegie sprout!
Aye, am allreet, ta Scotty. A knaa a wish this snaa wud gaan away Am not quite understandin the Murder Polis parts of ya posts tho 
A knaa a wish this snaa wud gaan away Am not quite understandin the Murder Polis parts of ya posts tho Reference:
Pronounced (dee in)
! How's she deein?!Reference:
! How's she deein?!
Oh man, bluddy hell. Hav a put me feet in it agen 
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Aye, am allreet, ta Scotty. A knaa a wish this snaa wud gaan away Am not quite understandin the Murder Polis parts of ya posts tho
Gled tae hear yer braw sproot. Murder polis is an auld fashined Scottish wey o` saying, its awfy.
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Murder polis is an auld fashined Scottish wey o` saying, its awfy
Ah reet 
taReference: sprout
Ah reet ta
Nae tather abaw
Av had me fud the neet an aaal
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Av had me fud the neet an aaal
!
Ok nawty of me mentioning fud but........y' know..........
Nuttin wrang we menshonin fud sprouti
Depends wot context tho Granny
witz gon oan haw am jst back oan ma lappy wiz virused oot its nut ...... a wz puuure loast btw
Hiya Madam..........wear aaal taaakin in wor local accent 
a naw . a need ma gregz oan lol
am pure freezin by the wae ......... rapt up like a polar bear wish a hud fur scants
wish a hud fur scants
Awww maaaan. a hope ya thingy's ok noo.
its cuvvered lol
With a towel 
lmao aye bit thats scarred me fur life lol
There is nae answer t this otha than t
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a wz puuure loast btw
I wis wonderin where ye wur, gled yir back! Reference:
wish a hud fur scants
ehh, naw ye don't, look whit happened tae poor Scotty ! Scant fur noo!
lol a dont want fur scantz noo ..... lol am gonny go to ma scratcher wi ma coat oan lol
ïŧŋaye gled am back 