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I love the swimming one - we used to have mate called Michael when we were in our teens and we always introduced him as 'meet Mike - he swims like a fish'  I still say that sometimes, but it just gets weird looks nowadays.    

 

I remember the playing with matches one too - Mum goes out to the shop, leaves kid home alone with a matchbox and the final scene is her saying 'oh, and some matches' as something in the house goes up in flames.

Kaffs

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