1.06am: "See, that's what I like about you more than Jack, Joe.." Daniel begins. "I am Jack." Joe replies. Sigh.
(this amused me to the point of laughing out loud 
, what a 'private dick' Dan is)
Thanks MrsH! 
Just goes to prove my point then. 
Mind you, unsurprisingly, it has set the cat amongst the pigeons. It was great to see how Wolfie was suddenly having to re-think her targets. You can see her cogs working overtime!
Originally Posted by Syd:
1.06am: "See, that's what I like about you more than Jack, Joe.." Daniel begins. "I am Jack." Joe replies. Sigh.
(this amused me to the point of laughing out loud , what a 'private dick' Dan is)
I missed that Syd. The private dick is beginning to look a bit of a public one I'm sad to say.
Nice to bump into you this time of night missus.
1.32am: Sophie and Charlie are having tea! TEA! At this hour!?! Sophie's having honey in hers! It's all kicking off
1.40am: Confused scenes. Dexter has upset Gina by claiming to have found something in the garden. There are tears.
1.44am: We admit we're a bit lost. Dexter's not telling anyone what he found but Wolfy thinks a fly told her what he's up to
1.53am: In the bedroom, people are trying to speculate what's going on. Daley is escorting Wolfie to bed in a gentlemanly manner.
1.57am: What a bizarre scene to sign off on. See you tomorrow for more of the same! Nighty night.
Day 17 round-up: Boys dress up and the truth comes out
1 hour ago
The morning after Jemima's eviction we had something of atouchy feely House on our hands. It wasn't all joy and stroking, however. Dexter had something on his mind â something to do with the feeling he's now an easy target â so he shared the contents of his brain with Callum to get Day 17 off to a speculative start.
As is traditional, we eventually had a task on our hands.Command Or Demand saw boys pitted against girls in an assault course scenario. Eggs were splatted and horns honked in beautifully slapstick way. Ultimately, the boys took the crown, which resulted in a little macho posturing. The reward was slightly less masculine, however, as the boys had won themselves some girly pampering. Far from downhearted over their mismatched spoils, the chaps took to the makeup, balms, lotions and nibbles with gusto.
Later on, however, those secrets picked up by Gina, Jackie and Wolfy couldn't help but come spilling out and towards bedtime there was the odd confrontation or two. The night ended with Wolfy, Gina and Jackie confused over exactly what they'd heard and pondering how much they should have said in the first place. Our poor little housemates' heads are all over the place, but hey. At least they're making the most of their time in there, right?
Wolfy lets Callum in on a little secret
Callum confronted...
Task time and the boys clasp victory in their tightly flexed paws
Boys will be boys
This lunch time on Rylan's Supersized Celebrity Bit on the Side â 30 June
54 mins ago
We're getting a double dose of Jemimas this lunchtime. Exhibit A â evicted housemate, Jemima Slade, who left on Friday in a hail of boos but still has thoughtful things to say about her Big Brother experience. Exhibit B - Jemima Packington, our favourite type of fortune teller aka one who uses asparagus to predict the future.
They will be joined on the panel by a man who â while not called Jemima â at least has the decency to have a name beginning with 'J'. EastEnder s star Joe Swash is representing.
Playing the show out is the ravishing Sugababe tuned solo singer Amelle Berrabah. Be on Channel 5 at 12.55pm for that's when this is all going down.
Day 18: Mangling present and past
12 mins ago
While the rest of the housemates took their leisurely time getting ready for the day or basked in the sun in their bikinis, Wolfy's destination was the mangle.
Washing clothes mangle style is not something the youth of today have been prepared for. Luckily Joe was around to give a helping hand. As they wrung water from Wolfy's boxer shorts they imagined life when mangles were all the rage.
Wolfy wondered what Joe would have done for work back in the day.
"My surname is Glenny which means 'dweller of the glen' so I would have been a dosser."
Hands up who's tickled by the idea of Joe kicking back on a glen, just kinda dwelling, y'know?
"You couldn't be on the dole in the 1800s" pointed out Wolfy, who reckoned she'd be a quack doctor.
So between them we have one dosser and one charlatan.
Wolfy mused that she might actually have been an ambassador. There's still a chance for that one. Maybe after Big Brother...
^^^
As they wrung water from Wolfy's boxer shorts 
Originally Posted by MrsH:
1.32am: Sophie and Charlie are having tea! TEA! At this hour!?! Sophie's having honey in hers! It's all kicking off
1.40am: Confused scenes. Dexter has upset Gina by claiming to have found something in the garden. There are tears.
1.44am: We admit we're a bit lost. Dexter's not telling anyone what he found but Wolfy thinks a fly told her what he's up to
1.53am: In the bedroom, people are trying to speculate what's going on. Daley is escorting Wolfie to bed in a gentlemanly manner.
1.57am: What a bizarre scene to sign off on. See you tomorrow for more of the same! Nighty night.
Day 18: The 'Last Laugh' task
1 hour ago
For today's Diary Room task, all housemates will compete to see who can maintain a laugh for the longest amount of time. Big Brother will give them a helping hand by providing some visual jokes for them to chuckle at.
One at a time, each housemate will be called to the Diary Roomwhere they will each be instructed to lift a drape to reveal one of Big Brotherâs jokes. They must laugh at it, no matter how unfunny it is, and must then keep on laughing for as long as they possibly can. Big Brother will time each laugh, and the housemate who carries on laughing the longest will win the task.
The twist is that Big Brother's are all a bit lame, clichÃĐd and a bit too literal. The jokes provided for housemates to laugh at will include a chicken crossing a road, a mushroom holding a sign which says "I'm a fun guy" and a gurning man. Embarassing right?
Dan and Jack have had their turns. Stay tuned for news of which housemate is best at feigning mirth.
Good dedication MrsH 
Nice to pop in and see what the reprobates are up to 
Miserable out int it?
Originally Posted by velvet donkey:
Good dedication MrsH
Nice to pop in and see what the reprobates are up to
Miserable out int it?
thank you
it dont feel the same in here without the tweets but it was a welcome replacement the gadgie on the side
Rylan's Twitter takeover
2 hours ago
Fresh from presenting his Supersized Sunday edition of Bit on the Side Rylan, a vision in shiny blue, entered the BBi for a Twitter takeover. We were deluged with questions and quite a few declarations of love from our delightful twitterati. Here are the ones Rylan had time to answer.
youreahater - Which housemates do you want to see more of?
Rylan - We need to see more of Callum, Daley and Sophie because we still don't know who they are.
typicalbl0nde - If you had to propose to a housemate who would it be?
Rylan - It would have to be Dan as I really fancy him. If that failed I would marry Jackie Travers.
ellaxteamrylanx - Do you think they'll be honest on face-to-face noms?
Rylan - I thinks that for the first time ever this set of housemates will be completely honest face-to-face.
darkyxoxoasks - Which housemate do you think would be a good spy?
Rylan - Dan. He's just so inquisitive and sees things that others don't.
UJ_TookMyMonkey - Would you want to be back in House, with the people who are in there now?
Rylan - I want nothing more than to go back in to the House. Let's make it happen. (Rylan then immeditely invents the hashtag #GetRylanbackinBB)
katier66 - What's the best part of hosting Bit on the Side
Rylan - Being part of the Big Brother family. It's been a lifelong dream.
gillianbrowne1 - Whats your favourite memory from when you were in the Big Brother house?
Rylan - Walking in thinking "I finally got in".
youreahater - Who is your favourite previous housemate of all time?
Rylan - I loved Nadia, Jade, Nikki and Sallie.
And with that, he was off to another shoot. Fortunately, what with him co-presenting Bit on the Side, you don't have to miss him for too long. Always good to have someone where you want them, and where they want to be too. Happy days.
Day 18: The Last Laugh task - results
Ho, ho, ho! Big Brother is one funny fellow!
Well, actually his sense of humour's a bit lame as was proved earlier during the Last Laugh task. In this chortlesome challenge, housemates were challenged to laugh until their sides were chronic with the splits and the housemate who laughed last laughed longest. Big Brother offered housemates chuckles in the form of visual gags and those who guffawed for the longest period stood the best chance of scooping a reward.
Our eventual winner was Sam, but here's the laughter league table (complete with the objects of hilarity) so you can see how they all got on.
SAM (25 min 57 sec) â Man in a comedy disguise WOLFY (9 min 36 sec) - Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman GINA (6 min 36 sec) â Worm in a can JACKIE (3 min 48 sec) â Knock knock gag JOE (3 min 29 sec) - Jack in the Box DEXTER (2 min 27 sec) - âFun Guyâ mushroom CALLUM (2min 24 sec) - Fart button CHARLIE (1 min 34 sec) - Lolcat picture HAZEL (1 min 21 sec) - Gurning man JACK (1min 15 sec) - Jumping dog SOPHIE (51 sec) - Cream pie in the face DALEY (44 sec) - Clown with squirting flowers DAN (7 sec) - Chicken crossing a road
As you can see, it was a lot of fun all round. Sam walked to victory and is currently enjoying a lad's night with Daley and Callum including pizza, beers and a special VHS viewing.
What on earth could they be watching? We'll soon, no doubt, find out.
Originally Posted by erinp:
BOSSES were on red alert yesterday after a fan breached security and launched a hate campaign against ex-copper Dan Neal.
A show obsessive slipped past guards at the famous TV house, throwing the show into chaos.
Channel 5 producers warned the housemates after the thug struck at Elstree Studios.
They were worried it could just be the start of trouble for the ex-detective, who worked on the Jimmy Savile sex abuse case.
A show spokeswoman said last night: âThe safety of housemates is paramount.â
Dan became top dog on the series after guessing that Michael Dylan, 29, was really an actor in week one.
But in a bid to turn the tide against the former officer, the intruder threw a tennis ball into the grounds with a message saying: âDan is an actor.â
The false claim was aimed to stir up trouble for Dan by getting other housemates to turn on him.
Dexter Koh, 28, Gina Rio, 24, Sophie Lawrence, 20, and Wolfy Millington, 20, were in the garden at the time.
TV bosses immediately ordered them inside but Dexter saw the message. He told housemates: âIâve seen it but I donât want to get anyone else into trouble.
âIt was a message but Iâm not going to say what.
âIt would cause uproar.â
Gina thought the message was about her, and ranted: âI donât like the way youâre smirking. Itâs scaring me.â
Ironically, Essex boy Dan joked about the stunt, saying: âThe only message thatâs got through tonight is what a prat Dexter is.â
Meanwhile, the gay wannabe told Irish model Hazel OâSullivan, 28, to stop her bizarre sexual advances.
The pair were filmed larking about between the sheets and Hazel admitted Dan reminded her of an ex-boyfriend.
But when she started kissing him, he told her to âstop itâ as his boyfriend Matt would not be impressed.
Hazel whinged: âIâve got to put my love somewhere.â And she was all over Dan again in the garden yesterday.
A show spokeswoman added about the missile incident: âThe safety of housemates is of the utmost importance and security procedures were followed.
TERROR ALERT - missile = Tennis Ball
just how low are they going to go to sell there 15p daily crap 
Weekly round-up: Private screenings and eviction number two
59 mins ago
What a week it's been! Twists, turns and zombie nightmares. Let's have a look over the seven days just gone.
Nominations were the main order of Day 12, with a distraction in the form of the Feast Like A Beast task. Housemates had to guess which animals the twins were impersonating in order to win a feed â and they did well enough to secure curry for dinner. Later on housemates convinced themselves that there are two Dexters and a conspiracy briefly brewed that Gina was an actress. But all that speculation mattered little when Big Brother dropped the nom bomb - Dexter, Gina and Jemima were to face the public vote.
After hearing the nom news, a rough night's sleep was followed by a zombie attack on the morn of Day 13. The Quarantine task began before any of the ladies had time to put on makeup â the definition of a rude awakening. Eight of the HMs were quick enough to grab a gasmask but the others found themselves stricken with the zombie virus. These poor 'infected' souls were placed in quarantine and it was pretty uncomfortable, with Gina and Dan gaining freedom after some shocking treatment.
This undead state of affairs continued into Day 14 which saw the continuation of the task. Giving up on the shopping budget was even discussed. Fortunately, Big Brother had another antidote on hand, but freeing themselves would cost one or two housemates some hair. Hair raising scenes followed but the End Game task promised relief for the quarantined fivesome. The gang secured precious meat and were reunited with their pals once again. Everyone celebrated, but Gina was sent to jail for producing an illicit can of lager. Her annoyance turned to joy later when Gina learned she was safe from eviction.
Day 15 began grumpily but the day's task came along andHide and No Seek saw the twins duped by their fellow housemates. When they rumbled their pals they were all rewarded with doughnuts and sweets. Hurrah! But the worry and fretting set in again with Dan dubbed bossy, Dexter self-analysing, Wolfy and Charlie having a ding dong and, just before bed, Callum questioning his very existence.
Eviction day, or Day 16 by any other name, began with moreself-analysing from Dexter and then more was to come whenThe Key, The Secret saw HMs telling some honest truths about in-House relationships in exchange for keys. The reward saw Gina, Jackie and Wolfy gifted with video footage of selected housemates â their VT tapes. But first thing was first - when the moment came, Jemima was out on her earand Dexter lived to see another week in the House. Gina, Jackie and Wolfy began to ask awkward questions as a result of their newly gained info, but spirits were high so The Key, The Secret didn't raise its head again until...
..Day 17. Despite it being a touchy feely House in the morning, the Command Or Demand task saw boys pitted against girls. Eggs were splatted, horns honked and the boys took the crown, which resulted in macho posturing. The reward wasn't so masculine, however. The boys won themselves some pampering and took to the makeup and nibbles like men possessed. Later on, however, those secrets spilled out and towards bedtime there was the odd confrontation or two. Wolfy, Gina and Jackie ended up confused over exactly what they'd heard and pondered how much they should have said in the first place.
Housemates continued their hushed and fraught conversations throughout a sunny Day 18. Aside from a fun burst of mangling and a slippy situation for Dan, it was a bit of a tense one. Pensive discussions were the order of the day.Charlie and Callum finally put their feelings on the line while Dan simply couldn't let go of his Wolfy theories. Dan also managed to have a bust up with Joe in the hazy afternoon â this really was a day of non-stop bristling and a not a littleeavesdropping. Big Brother tried to tickle the housemates with a chuckle-heavy task, but the reward for Sam, Callum and Daley involved yet more VHS viewing and more VT exposure.
Big Brother just can't help throwing a spanner in the works. We wouldn't have it any other way, would we?
Hmmmmmm - reading through the tweets it sounds like there is real distance developing between Charlie and Callum and Wolfy seems to have jumped in to fill the void (stick the knife in) with Callum.
Nasty cow.
Originally Posted by Soozy Woo:
Hmmmmmm - reading through the tweets it sounds like there is real distance developing between Charlie and Callum and Wolfy seems to have jumped in to fill the void (stick the knife in) with Callum.
Nasty cow.
The Peoples Princess thinks she is Queen of the House
click her fingers or speak and her minions run ....
9.50am: Wolfy is feeling delicate this morning and is seeking consolation of Callum. "Stay strong," he whispers
10.05am: Callum and Wolfy are still in each other's arms. It's a touching sight. Touching... get it? Because... oh forget it
what will her Girl Friend think 
Alert over a tennis ball I noticed Wolfy was attaching herself to Callum yesterday
Tonight on Big Brother's Bit on the Side: Monday 1 July
58 mins ago
Roll-up, roll- up to the greatest spin-offshow on earth... fine, on Channel 5, FINE, on at 11pm.
Tonight Rylan and AJ will be welcoming freshly evicted housemate Jemima, slightly less freshly evicted housemate, Sallie, stand-up comedian Joel Domett and the lucious Linda Lusardi, tv presenter and former model.
Psychotherapist Rachel Morris will be on the couch to delve underneath that tricksy House surface and there'll be exclusive news to make your eyes pop. Channel 5 at 11pm, you 'eard.
MODEL pals Georgia Salpa and Hazel O'Sullivan have had angry words over Calum Best. The Diary can reveal that the pair have had a big argument after Georgia's bad boy ex wrote to Hazel publicly on his social networking site, adding fuel to speculation that the pair have grown close in recent weeks.
Georgia (26) and Hazel (22) became close friends when they were among Asset's press call favourites, but Georgia subsequently moved to Andrea Roche's agency and sources have said their friendship has started to deteriorate.
According to close pals, Georgia found out that Hazel planned a secret meeting with Calum while she was working at the Darts Championships for Sky 1 in London.
Tweeted
Their meeting was supposed to be kept under wraps but after Hazel landed back in Dublin, Calum Tweeted her publicly saying: "O'Sullivan, too bad I missed ya. Merry Xmas x," to which Hazel responded "I'll be seeing you very soon in the new year for sure! X."
An insider close to the model pals say Georgia went crazy and has already warned Hazel to stay away from her famous ex.
"Georgia is so angry right now. She called Hazel screaming down the phone last month when she was spotted out with Calum at the Fade Street launch. She asked her if anything was going on between them and Hazel outright denied it but it looks like something really is happening between them.
"All Georgia's friends have stopped speaking to Hazel now. It's one thing to go through such a public break-up but to be going after one of your best mates so soon, she's just angry about it.
"Georgia is really happy with her new boyfriend and she's moved on completely from Calum but this is just rubbing salt into the wound.
"Some of her friends have been on to Hazel telling her to stay away from Calum but Hazel doesn't care."
The source added: "It might end a lot of friendships for her but she doesn't seem to mind, she's already told people she wants to get out of Dublin."
And this isn't the first time Georgia has got herself into a spat with an Assets model. The dark-haired beauty had a rumoured fall out with Nadia Forde last year, who is now best friends with Hazel, but the pair have always denied having any row.
When contacted by the Diary Hazel refused to comment on her relationship with Calum.
PRIVATE
Asked if she had been involved with Calum and had a fight with Georgia, Hazel replied: "I've learnt my lesson in the past about talking about my private life, all I'm interested in is talking about work."
But the blonde beauty did confirm that she was in London over Christmas. The catwalk queen says she and Tallafornia star Kelly Donegan were working at the Darts Championship and admitted she is considering a move to the UK for work.
The Diary also attempted to contact Georgia, but she is understood to be out of the country at the moment.
The spat comes just one day before the half-Greek beauty is rumoured to be entering the Celebrity Big Brother house.
Day 19: Callum tells Wolfy: "Stay strong"
49 mins ago
Callum and Wolfy have been getting into a morning routine of late. At lights on, Wolfy clambers into bed with the C man for a long cuddle and debrief on House events. This morning's session was particularly heartfelt with the result that the pair are closer than ever.
Nothing pushes people together like a bit of suffering and yesterday was a toughie for both members of team tactile.
The apple of Callum's eye, the hoarse-voiced long-maned receptionist with an intriguing past, made it clear their romance was a non-starter yesterday. Charlie's casual revelation was dealt with stoically by Callum who has said in the Diary Room that he fancies her. But we see those longing looks. We heard the song of heartbreak he strangled earlier.
In the absence of Charlie, the presence of a friendly figure in Wolfy is even more meaningful to the PE teacher.
Wolfy has her own reasons to seek comfort in a chum's embrace. Friction between herself and Dan has been shaking her shamanic calm for several days. It's at the point where she can't even meditate it out of her system, an alien sensation.
"Stay strong," said Callum in hushed tones. "Meditate lots if you need to, We can have lots of chats."
See what you're missing, Charlie?
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