Grub's up! The final shopping order has arrived and the boys with the chalk – Adam, Luke A and Luke S – are pretty pleased with their performance. They even managed to come in under budget - £4.77 under the £150 limit.

Luke S was chuffed to discover they had even been some offers on products, meaning his original 16 pack of crisps had become a 22 packer – the stuff of dreams.

The smokers skipped merrily into the garden with their new haul and Deana pondered whether you could make a dish using eggs and chicken – we have no idea which would come first. Luke A told her she could eat whatever she liked.

Here's what will be sustaining our remaining housemates for the rest of their time in the House...

Apples

Bananas Loose

Lemon

Tomatoes

Cucumber (whole )

Lettuce  (iceberg)

 Unsmoked Back Bacon

Pork Sausages

Smoked Salmon (Scottish) Slices

Olive Spread

Mature Cheddar (Caledonian)

Full Fat Milk

Semi-Skimmed

Skimmed Milk

Half a Dozen Free Range Eggs (medium)

Frozen Cheese Pizza

Frozen Pepperoni Pizza

Frozen Ham & Pineapple Pizza

Baked Beans

Tinned Spaghetti in Tomato Sauce

Chicken and Mushroom Noodles

Ketchup

Mayo

Brown Loaf

White Loaf

Variety Pack of Crisps

 Tobacco Leaf

Light Cigarettes

Menthol Cigarettes

Free Range Chicken Boneless Breast Fillets

Cheap Tuna Chunks In Brine

Ye Old Oak Hot Dogs

Sara is pretty confident Big Brother will be presenting them with a few slap up meals before the week is out, but even if not they should be well-fed. Probably best not to let Deana near the kitchen though...

"The entire world’s a House and we only housemates," Shakespeare famously said, or would have, if only reality TV had taken off during Elizabethan times.  

It's Day 65 in the Big Brother House and the remaining seven housemates have become suspiciously calm, to the point where they're a bunch of shy and retiring violets.

Lushleigh are spending most of their time being lovey-dovey with Luke S fulfilling his DMQ (daily manliness quota) by crunching numbers with the male soldiers and Ashleigh fulfilling her GMQ (girlfriend material quota) with massages, cleaning and cooking.

The Soldiers (Luke A, Adam and Deana) have been channelling 'lazy sixth former' chic, lying around getting opinionated about the work of M. Night Shyamalan. As for The Floaters, Scott's been focusing on his hair and Sara's been providing a steady stream of white noise.

We know there's more to them all but then who amongst you hasn't undergone a personality clamp-down in exceptional circumstances?

We're less than a week away from one of them walking away with £50,000. When the stakes are much lower than this, think an interview or meeting a new person for the first time, it's normal to become introverted with your mind telling you repeatedly, 'don't screw this up'. Although it's frustrating that housemates aren't prancing around making nail biting TV, it's understandable that they've opted to take a collective chill pill. A rash move could be the most costly one they ever make.

And as much as we take pride in our ability to gently mock them, we must doff our caps and accept that this quietude equates to sensibility proving that the housemates are not invented personalities but people, like all of us.  

However they – like us – should remember not to take restraint to the point of repressing their identities. No one likes a colourless tool.

This brings us neatly to the question at the heart of Big Brother. Who is 'being themselves' and who 'has a game plan'? We hate to spoil your fun (actually, we enjoy it a tad) but the line between the two is virtually non-existent. Put simply, Big Brother is a personality contest, just like much of life is a personality contest.

Even confrontational people, like evicted housemates Benedict and Lydia, who seem like they’re marching to their own drums are playing a personality contest. They've just decided, controversially, that they're only playing for the approval of a select crew. This is a high-risk game plan because the more selective you are, the smaller your fan base – or in normal terms – friendship circle. Edgy characters are divisive, in BB and out.

So what does it take to win Big Brother and why were  Adam, Arron, Ashleigh, Becky, Benedict, Caroline, Conor, Chris, Deana, Lauren, Luke A, Luke S, Lydia, Sara, Scott, Shievonne and Victoria willing to leave all that's familiar in order to be watched 24 hours a day as part of a social experiment?

This impulse feels alien to many of us but when you think about it, winning Big Brother is a validation of your character, a mass decision that you deserve good fortune. Is there anyone out there who wouldn’t benefit from such a profound and lucrative pat on the back?

As we speak (write?) Big Brother has invited the housemates to the Nommy Awards, an exclusive awards ceremony the likes of which Elstree has never seen.

The housemates will dress up in their gladrags to attend the ceremony in the living area, where they will be rewarded special Nommy statues and give acceptance speeches to the other housemates.

The winner of the Nommy Awards will be the one who receives the most statues, and they will be awarded a special tasty meal, with three housemate guests of their choice, cooked by a Michelin-stared chef. Check back later to see who gets this tasty treat.

The award categories are...

Kiss Of Death Award
The Housemate who has successfully nominated the most evicted housemates.

Under The Radar Award
For least nominated housemate

Public Enemy Award
Most nominated Housemate

Nemesis Award
For the two Housemates to have nominated each other the most

Close Shave Award
For housemate who has nearly been up for eviction the most often.

Broken Record Award
For the housemates that has nominated the same housemate every week.

Best Hair and Makeup
For the Housemate that was consistently best groomed when nominating  

Special achievement award: Worst nominator
For the Housemate who just can’t make up their mind.