Arse Like a Beetroot
The Weasels, fearful of losing their place in the hierarchy of the forest, created a monstrous machine called an Overwhelming Octagonal Nursingbra which produced evil new hairy animal/beetroot mutants called Big Arsed Bastards, which had become the baboons of nowadays by lunchtime.
Beetroot Today
In these days of the credit crunch and mass hysteria, storing all your rubbish in the spare room and growing your own food on it is more important than ever, and this is where beetroot comes into its own. Mrs Beetroot’s Book of Beetroot Management (Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, £132.78) is brimming with recipes written in code by Mrs Beetroot during her forced viewing of a performance of Handel’s Messiah by a cult she had joined by accident.
Classics such as Beetroot Fallout and the aptly named Lilac Recrimination, discovered accidentally by Large Hadron Collider scientists during an early escape attempt, are once again enjoying unbelievable popularity with a new breed of Green people who will happily sacrifice their third car and the au pair’s back to save our planet. .
In these days of the credit crunch and mass hysteria, storing all your rubbish in the spare room and growing your own food on it is more important than ever, and this is where beetroot comes into its own. Mrs Beetroot’s Book of Beetroot Management (Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, £132.78) is brimming with recipes written in code by Mrs Beetroot during her forced viewing of a performance of Handel’s Messiah by a cult she had joined by accident.
Classics such as Beetroot Fallout and the aptly named Lilac Recrimination, discovered accidentally by Large Hadron Collider scientists during an early escape attempt, are once again enjoying unbelievable popularity with a new breed of Green people who will happily sacrifice their third car and the au pair’s back to save our planet. .
Beetroot Fallout
Ingredients: 20 beetroots, 6 paper bags
Method: Several the beetroots, and place them into individual paper bags. Line the bags up on the work top, and shout at them until they wither. Tip beetroots into a large bowl and check them with a Geiger counter - they should only be slightly radioactive. Serve with deliberate slowness accompanied by a compote of tedium and frustration.
Ingredients: 20 beetroots, 6 paper bags
Method: Several the beetroots, and place them into individual paper bags. Line the bags up on the work top, and shout at them until they wither. Tip beetroots into a large bowl and check them with a Geiger counter - they should only be slightly radioactive. Serve with deliberate slowness accompanied by a compote of tedium and frustration.
Lilac Recrimination
First take a copy of Laurie Lee’s Cider with Rosie to your nearest charity (thrift) shop and leave it there. While it’s away make up a quart of brine using a demi-bunce of vinegar, half a template of flaccid correction fluid and a furlong of grated aluminium. Add a quarter wheelbarrow of freshly tamed beetroots. Ignite.
First take a copy of Laurie Lee’s Cider with Rosie to your nearest charity (thrift) shop and leave it there. While it’s away make up a quart of brine using a demi-bunce of vinegar, half a template of flaccid correction fluid and a furlong of grated aluminium. Add a quarter wheelbarrow of freshly tamed beetroots. Ignite.
Sorry Zaphod – don’t know what came over me - few minutes to spare before 9pm. 
Beetroot provides a welcome diversion for workers in the Tax Credit Office.
All the above wonderful quotes from here in case you want to bookmark it.
Beetroot provides a welcome diversion for workers in the Tax Credit Office.
All the above wonderful quotes from here in case you want to bookmark it.
I think you have been smoking beetroot leaves again bunny 
Z.
Z.
Zaph, what's wrong wth beetroot? it's lovely on a ham sarnie 
quote:Originally posted by Zaphod:
I think you have been smoking beetroot leaves again bunny
Z.
What I do in the privacy of my own hutch is my business!!!
quote:Originally posted by Baby Bunny:
What I do in the privacy of my own hutch is my business!!!
I threw out a half finished box of Wagg beetroot sticks today.
Not needed after the passing of Weenie Ham
Matching Avatars.. 
.. very confusing
Evening mufc
.. Evening Pam too
Z.
.. very confusingEvening mufc
.. Evening Pam too Z.
quote:Originally posted by Zaphod:
Matching Avatars..
Evening mufc
Z.
Hiya Pamquote:Originally posted by onetoo:
Hi Zaph, and all
aha we have new recruits in the beetie thread
Welcome to you all
take no notice of Zaph ... he loves it really
Welcome to you all
take no notice of Zaph ... he loves it really
Hiya beeties - great with food - dont know where the gah spit comes in - but it does add flavour to food
hiya MrsH how you doing ??
hiya MrsH how you doing ??
quote:Originally posted by porto:
hiya MrsH how you doing ??
Hello stranger
nice to see you here still bashing the beet as you can see ... it seems a never ending job
other than that I am fine thanks 
Hi MrsH ... I just deleted it
Mind you... laying an egg that big must have stung a tad
Z.
Mind you... laying an egg that big must have stung a tad
Z.
& 
Hello Pengy .. would you mind awfully if I declined your kind offer and opted for penguin on toast?
Z.
Z.
quote:Originally posted by Zaphod:
Hello Pengy .. would you mind awfully if I declined your kind offer and opted for penguin on toast?
Z.
Filth
quote:Originally posted by Pengy:quote:Originally posted by Zaphod:
Hello Pengy .. would you mind awfully if I declined your kind offer and opted for penguin on toast?
Z.
Filth
Run for it Pengy!!!
enjoyEngland have launched their own unique scent called By George!
From an article on the enjoyEngland website:
“By George! features a symphony of the nation’s most evocative smells in an eminently wearable fragrance. The heart of the fragrance takes a journey through an English seaside garden with salty sea air notes mingling with damp earth, garden mint, carrots and beetroots and freshly cut grass... “
So Zaph, by rejecting beetroot, you are in fact, rejecting your heritage.
Had you been living in a less tolerant age you would probably be charged with treason and tortured.
From an article on the enjoyEngland website:
“By George! features a symphony of the nation’s most evocative smells in an eminently wearable fragrance. The heart of the fragrance takes a journey through an English seaside garden with salty sea air notes mingling with damp earth, garden mint, carrots and beetroots and freshly cut grass... “
So Zaph, by rejecting beetroot, you are in fact, rejecting your heritage.
Had you been living in a less tolerant age you would probably be charged with treason and tortured.
I'd rather be burnt at the stake than eat beetroot let alone smell of the stuff 
Z.
Z.
Ohhhhhh, this is soooo funny!! What you two like..
quote:Originally posted by Zaphod:
Z.
THAT is BRILLIANT!!!
I know when I'm beet-en!
Would a full and unconditional surrender save me from the jaws of death?
Lovely doggie btw
