Have tried very hard to avoid the obvious ("Who IS she?" "You'd better know yourself") stuff that has been posted a million times. These are a few of my favourite things, as Julie Andrews sang:

Derek (pointing, apparently, at nothing at all): "Ooh look, there's a funny monkey. Can you see it?"

Derek: "There's beauty in your eyes, Science."

Derek: (on being asked about his masturbation habits): "Lord no. I deplore manual labour, it's ghastly."

Nadia: "I'm fuming! I'm fumigating!"

Kemal: (re. Saskia): "It's time to separate the wheat from the...chav..."

Dan: "I saw myself on the big screen and thought, 'God, I look awful!' Then I realized it was Davina McCall."

Dan (to Nadia): "Where did you get that? Bon Marche?"
Nadia: "What are you talking about darling, I wear LeCroix."
Dan: "You mean Le Creuset..."

Emma: "When you delete a number from your phone, where does it go?"

Science: "In medieval times I would have been called Sir Hump-a-lot."

Science, re. Anthony: "I can actually hear the wind blow through his hollow head."

Jon: "I just finished King Lear. They're all dead."

Craig BB6: "I've got nothing left to give the public."

Craig: "I hate sausages, they're such bitches."

Craig, to Anthony: "How dare you say I want to win just because I want to win?"

Craig: "I aren't the type to bitch behind peoples' backs like Sam does."

Gerry: "I believe in an eye for a tooth..."

Carole: "I am as sharp as a button..."

Carole: "Don't eat with your mouths full..."

Jayne (hurling herself from a bench into Glyn's arms): "Catch me!" [instant flattening of Glyn]

Shanessa: "Ooh, I would love to be Jewish. They wear such lovely clothes."

BB6 Lesley: "When guys don't think I'm gorgeous I know they must be gay. "