Guess who got done today 
Bloody West Yorkshire old bill 
Bloody West Yorkshire old bill Replies sorted oldest to newest
Oh dear Karms.
What's the damage?
What's the damage?
Do you know any of the local plod? That got me off once.
Did flashing your cleavage not work then?
quote:Originally posted by electric6:
Did flashing your cleavage not work then?
I don't understand it. They pulled me over, said:
'madam, we first caught you doing 92, then you slowed down to 88'
Me: 'And what's the problem? I slowed down didn't I?'
Dickhead:'Yeah but not enough'
Me: 'Well if you hadn't have stopped me I would have slowed down again and would then have been legal, but you stopped me at 88 just so you could do me'
Dickhead: 'We're not like the Met in London you know, we take crime seriously'
Wankstain
Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting
'madam, we first caught you doing 92, then you slowed down to 88'
Me: 'And what's the problem? I slowed down didn't I?'
Dickhead:'Yeah but not enough'
Me: 'Well if you hadn't have stopped me I would have slowed down again and would then have been legal, but you stopped me at 88 just so you could do me'
Dickhead: 'We're not like the Met in London you know, we take crime seriously'
Wankstain
Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting
You done the crime now do the time 
Q I got 3 points and a 60 quid fine. I'm livid. I've managed to keep my license clean so far
I fecked up again cos when I was moaning I said 'look, I've been driving since I was 15 and if I was that bad a driver I would have had untold points by now'
He gave me 'that' frown
I fecked up again cos when I was moaning I said 'look, I've been driving since I was 15 and if I was that bad a driver I would have had untold points by now'
He gave me 'that' frown
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks!
quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time
Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time
Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.
He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:
Guess who got done today
Well if you've got a wad, you need to research that lawyer chappy who gets all the footballers off scot free.
quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time
Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.
He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would
I'm not bloody Bea Smith
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:
Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time
Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.
He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would
I'm not bloody Bea Smith
HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!!
oh hang on, i'm thinking of the wrong Bea 
quote:Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks!
They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old
quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time
Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.
He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would
I'm not bloody Bea Smith
HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!!
Do you know who Bea Smith is? I'm not on about that annoying twat giraffe from BB quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time
Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.
He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would
I'm not bloody Bea Smith
HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!!
I do now
And don't call Bea a 'twat giraffe' its rude!
quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time
Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.
He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would
I'm not bloody Bea Smith
HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!!
I do now
And don't call Bea a 'twat giraffe' its rude!
But she is though
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time
Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.
He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would
I'm not bloody Bea Smith
HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!!
I do now
And don't call Bea a 'twat giraffe' its rude!
But she is though
Bea is AWESOME SAUCE!! I accept people don't like her but there is no need for that dirty language you dirty mouth and law breaker!
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks!
They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old
First I knew was a letter 6 weeks later to appear in court in fekking Staffordshire!
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:
I don't understand it. They pulled me over, said:
'madam, we first caught you doing 92, then you slowed down to 88'
Me: 'And what's the problem? I slowed down didn't I?'
Dickhead:'Yeah but not enough'
Me: 'Well if you hadn't have stopped me I would have slowed down again and would then have been legal, but you stopped me at 88 just so you could do me'
Dickhead: 'We're not like the Met in London you know, we take crime seriously'
Wankstain
Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting
No no no.
I am sorry officer.
Yes officer yes you are right.
Never ever argue it doesnt get you anywhere and they might let you off given that you are the first polite person they have met today.
I am sure Mr Fergusson could give you a few tips in avoiding the fine ***hides from Darlo***
quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
Bea is AWESOME SAUCE!! I accept people don't like her but there is no need for that dirty language you dirty mouth and law breaker!
Oooh ark at you
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
Bea is AWESOME SAUCE!! I accept people don't like her but there is no need for that dirty language you dirty mouth and law breaker!
Oooh ark at you
*Looks all smug*
quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
Bea is AWESOME SAUCE!! I accept people don't like her but there is no need for that dirty language you dirty mouth and law breaker!
Oooh ark at you
*Looks all smug*
Have a cushion handy.. when pulled over stuff cushion up clothing and look flustered.. when approached by Occifer jiggle about a little, look down at bump and with puppy dog eyes say you are desperate for the loo/fear your waters may be breaking.. get blue lights to your destination and avoid speeding fine..
quote:Originally posted by CaptVimes:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:
I don't understand it. They pulled me over, said:
'madam, we first caught you doing 92, then you slowed down to 88'
Me: 'And what's the problem? I slowed down didn't I?'
Dickhead:'Yeah but not enough'
Me: 'Well if you hadn't have stopped me I would have slowed down again and would then have been legal, but you stopped me at 88 just so you could do me'
Dickhead: 'We're not like the Met in London you know, we take crime seriously'
Wankstain
Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting
No no no.
I am sorry officer.
Yes officer yes you are right.
Never ever argue it doesnt get you anywhere and they might let you off given that you are the first polite person they have met today. .
I am sure Mr Fergusson could give you a few tips in avoiding the fine ***hides from Darlo***
And therein lies the problem. I'm a right gnarly mare.
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks!
They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old
had one just out of short trousers call me sonny. I laughed and said i'm old enough to be your father.quote:Originally posted by tupps:
Have a cushion handy.. when pulled over stuff cushion up clothing and look flustered.. when approached by Occifer jiggle about a little, look down at bump and with puppy dog eyes say you are desperate for the loo/fear your waters may be breaking.. get blue lights to your destination and avoid speeding fine..
Woman can get away with so much
quote:Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:quote:Originally posted by tupps:
Have a cushion handy.. when pulled over stuff cushion up clothing and look flustered.. when approached by Occifer jiggle about a little, look down at bump and with puppy dog eyes say you are desperate for the loo/fear your waters may be breaking.. get blue lights to your destination and avoid speeding fine..
Woman can get away with so much
We are just resourceful..
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by CaptVimes:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:
I don't understand it. They pulled me over, said:
'madam, we first caught you doing 92, then you slowed down to 88'
Me: 'And what's the problem? I slowed down didn't I?'
Dickhead:'Yeah but not enough'
Me: 'Well if you hadn't have stopped me I would have slowed down again and would then have been legal, but you stopped me at 88 just so you could do me'
Dickhead: 'We're not like the Met in London you know, we take crime seriously'
Wankstain
Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting
No no no.
I am sorry officer.
Yes officer yes you are right.
Never ever argue it doesnt get you anywhere and they might let you off given that you are the first polite person they have met today. .
I am sure Mr Fergusson could give you a few tips in avoiding the fine ***hides from Darlo***
And therein lies the problem. I'm a right gnarly mare.
your telling me
quote:Originally posted by tupps:
Have a cushion handy.. when pulled over stuff cushion up clothing and look flustered.. when approached by Occifer jiggle about a little, look down at bump and with puppy dog eyes say you are desperate for the loo/fear your waters may be breaking.. get blue lights to your destination and avoid speeding fine..
I actually considered telling him I was pregnant in the hope he'd take pity on me 
Then I thought about claiming distress at a dead pigeon I had seen 10 minutes prior. I shall remember said tips for next time. Pigeons and babies. *licks pencil*quote:Originally posted by CaptVimes:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks!
They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old
I was actually quite flattered I got called madam. Usually it's bitch
I had an unmarked tosser on my tail once, and my speedometer was broken and got stuck on 50 (I didn't realise, btw).
After chasing me for miles, with me thinking he was a nutter, he pulled me over and asked me if I had ever seen those TV programmes with mad drivers on them.
I said "Yes, that's what I thought you were!" and he let me off, looking a bit embarrassed.
After chasing me for miles, with me thinking he was a nutter, he pulled me over and asked me if I had ever seen those TV programmes with mad drivers on them.
I said "Yes, that's what I thought you were!" and he let me off, looking a bit embarrassed.
Had a friend notch up 12 points once on those motorway works in ONE trip at various different places. Its practically a license to print money.quote:Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:quote:Originally posted by Karma_:quote:Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks!
They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old
First I knew was a letter 6 weeks later to appear in court in fekking Staffordshire!
you know you said you'd give me a lift? I'll prob be ok on the train
quote:Originally posted by Blizzie:
I had an unmarked tosser on my tail once, and my speedometer was broken and got stuck on 50 (I didn't realise, btw).
After chasing me for miles, with me thinking he was a nutter, he pulled me over and asked me if I had ever seen those TV programmes with mad drivers on them.
I said "Yes, that's what I thought you were!" and he let me off, looking a bit embarrassed.
How did you do that???
I've been pulled loads but it's usually the met or Thames Valley and they're sound (usually have something more serious to attend to like a tea break), so I get off. But not this git today, ohhhh no, he wasn't having ANY of it. AND I had a better tache than him quote:Originally posted by SazBomb:
you know you said you'd give me a lift? I'll prob be ok on the train
I bloody KNEW you'd pipe up with summat
quote:Originally posted by Karma_:
How did you do that???
Well, I did honestly think that I was doing fifty. I tested my speedometer afterwards and it was broken.
But, I think he realised that following me that closely and pulling in behind me, every time I pulled into the slow lane, whilst still staying that close, was probably quite scary for a lone woman with a baby in the back.
And I would have gone to court!!