Skip to main content

Replies sorted oldest to newest

I don't understand it. They pulled me over, said:

'madam, we first caught you doing 92, then you slowed down to 88'
Me: 'And what's the problem? I slowed down didn't I?'
Dickhead:'Yeah but not enough'
Me: 'Well if you hadn't have stopped me I would have slowed down again and would then have been legal, but you stopped me at 88 just so you could do me'
Dickhead: 'We're not like the Met in London you know, we take crime seriously'

Wankstain Mad

Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting Big Grin
Karma_
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time Nod


Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.


He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would Ninja Big Grin


I'm not bloody Bea Smith Mad
Karma_
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time Nod


Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.


He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would Ninja Big Grin


I'm not bloody Bea Smith Mad


HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!! Mad Shake Head oh hang on, i'm thinking of the wrong Bea Blush
Rawky-Roo
quote:
Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks! Mad


They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old Mad
Karma_
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time Nod


Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.


He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would Ninja Big Grin


I'm not bloody Bea Smith Mad


HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!! Mad Shake Head oh hang on, i'm thinking of the wrong Bea Blush


Laugh Do you know who Bea Smith is? I'm not on about that annoying twat giraffe from BB Laugh
Karma_
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time Nod


Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.


He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would Ninja Big Grin


I'm not bloody Bea Smith Mad


HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!! Mad Shake Head oh hang on, i'm thinking of the wrong Bea Blush


Laugh Do you know who Bea Smith is? I'm not on about that annoying twat giraffe from BB Laugh


I do now

And don't call Bea a 'twat giraffe' its rude!
Rawky-Roo
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time Nod


Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.


He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would Ninja Big Grin


I'm not bloody Bea Smith Mad


HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!! Mad Shake Head oh hang on, i'm thinking of the wrong Bea Blush


Laugh Do you know who Bea Smith is? I'm not on about that annoying twat giraffe from BB Laugh


I do now

And don't call Bea a 'twat giraffe' its rude!



But she is though Confused
Karma_
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
You done the crime now do the time Nod


Meh. They were bored and wanted promotion. My road was clear FFS. He could have slapped my wrists and let me off.


He could of thrown your ass in the slammer too. I would Ninja Big Grin


I'm not bloody Bea Smith Mad


HOW DARE YOU DRAG BEA INTO THIS!!! Mad Shake Head oh hang on, i'm thinking of the wrong Bea Blush


Laugh Do you know who Bea Smith is? I'm not on about that annoying twat giraffe from BB Laugh


I do now

And don't call Bea a 'twat giraffe' its rude!



But she is though Confused


Bea is AWESOME SAUCE!! I accept people don't like her but there is no need for that dirty language you dirty mouth and law breaker!
Rawky-Roo
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks! Mad


They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old Mad

First I knew was a letter 6 weeks later to appear in court in fekking Staffordshire! Roll Eyes
FM
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
I don't understand it. They pulled me over, said:

'madam, we first caught you doing 92, then you slowed down to 88'
Me: 'And what's the problem? I slowed down didn't I?'
Dickhead:'Yeah but not enough'
Me: 'Well if you hadn't have stopped me I would have slowed down again and would then have been legal, but you stopped me at 88 just so you could do me'
Dickhead: 'We're not like the Met in London you know, we take crime seriously'

Wankstain Mad

Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting Big Grin


No no no.

I am sorry officer.

Yes officer yes you are right.

Never ever argue it doesnt get you anywhere and they might let you off given that you are the first polite person they have met today.

I am sure Mr Fergusson could give you a few tips in avoiding the fine ***hides from Darlo***
CaptVimes
quote:
Originally posted by CaptVimes:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
I don't understand it. They pulled me over, said:

'madam, we first caught you doing 92, then you slowed down to 88'
Me: 'And what's the problem? I slowed down didn't I?'
Dickhead:'Yeah but not enough'
Me: 'Well if you hadn't have stopped me I would have slowed down again and would then have been legal, but you stopped me at 88 just so you could do me'
Dickhead: 'We're not like the Met in London you know, we take crime seriously'

Wankstain Mad

Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting Big Grin


No no no.

I am sorry officer.

Yes officer yes you are right.

Never ever argue it doesnt get you anywhere and they might let you off given that you are the first polite person they have met today. .

I am sure Mr Fergusson could give you a few tips in avoiding the fine ***hides from Darlo***



And therein lies the problem. I'm a right gnarly mare. Frowner
Karma_
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks! Mad


They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old Mad
Laugh had one just out of short trousers call me sonny. I laughed and said i'm old enough to be your father.
CaptVimes
quote:
Originally posted by tupps:
Have a cushion handy.. when pulled over stuff cushion up clothing and look flustered.. when approached by Occifer jiggle about a little, look down at bump and with puppy dog eyes say you are desperate for the loo/fear your waters may be breaking.. get blue lights to your destination and avoid speeding fine..


Woman can get away with so much Frowner
Rawky-Roo
quote:
Originally posted by Rawky-Roo:
quote:
Originally posted by tupps:
Have a cushion handy.. when pulled over stuff cushion up clothing and look flustered.. when approached by Occifer jiggle about a little, look down at bump and with puppy dog eyes say you are desperate for the loo/fear your waters may be breaking.. get blue lights to your destination and avoid speeding fine..


Woman can get away with so much Frowner


We are just resourceful.. Hug
tupps
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by CaptVimes:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
I don't understand it. They pulled me over, said:

'madam, we first caught you doing 92, then you slowed down to 88'
Me: 'And what's the problem? I slowed down didn't I?'
Dickhead:'Yeah but not enough'
Me: 'Well if you hadn't have stopped me I would have slowed down again and would then have been legal, but you stopped me at 88 just so you could do me'
Dickhead: 'We're not like the Met in London you know, we take crime seriously'

Wankstain Mad

Leccy, I wanted to flash my arse at him out of courtesy but had to get to a meeting Big Grin


No no no.

I am sorry officer.

Yes officer yes you are right.

Never ever argue it doesnt get you anywhere and they might let you off given that you are the first polite person they have met today. .

I am sure Mr Fergusson could give you a few tips in avoiding the fine ***hides from Darlo***



And therein lies the problem. I'm a right gnarly mare. Frowner


your telling me Disappointed
Rawky-Roo
quote:
Originally posted by tupps:
Have a cushion handy.. when pulled over stuff cushion up clothing and look flustered.. when approached by Occifer jiggle about a little, look down at bump and with puppy dog eyes say you are desperate for the loo/fear your waters may be breaking.. get blue lights to your destination and avoid speeding fine..


LaughLaugh I actually considered telling him I was pregnant in the hope he'd take pity on me Red Face Then I thought about claiming distress at a dead pigeon I had seen 10 minutes prior. I shall remember said tips for next time. Pigeons and babies. *licks pencil*
Karma_
quote:
Originally posted by CaptVimes:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks! Mad


They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old Mad
Laugh had one just out of short trousers call me sonny. I laughed and said i'm old enough to be your father.



I was actually quite flattered I got called madam. Usually it's bitch Laugh
Karma_
I had an unmarked tosser on my tail once, and my speedometer was broken and got stuck on 50 (I didn't realise, btw).

After chasing me for miles, with me thinking he was a nutter, he pulled me over and asked me if I had ever seen those TV programmes with mad drivers on them.

I said "Yes, that's what I thought you were!" and he let me off, looking a bit embarrassed. Glance
Blizz'ard
quote:
Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:
quote:
Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
Sh1t happens! Try getting away with 51mph on an empty motorway at 5.30 in the morning, and being penalised for going through (allegedly) 40mph roadworks! Mad


They're proper wankstains, the whole lot of em. Put on their fancy glowing yellow jackets and think they're Ghandi. And they talk to you like you're a 5 year old Mad

First I knew was a letter 6 weeks later to appear in court in fekking Staffordshire! Roll Eyes
Had a friend notch up 12 points once on those motorway works in ONE trip at various different places. Its practically a license to print money.
CaptVimes
quote:
Originally posted by Blizzie:
I had an unmarked tosser on my tail once, and my speedometer was broken and got stuck on 50 (I didn't realise, btw).

After chasing me for miles, with me thinking he was a nutter, he pulled me over and asked me if I had ever seen those TV programmes with mad drivers on them.

I said "Yes, that's what I thought you were!" and he let me off, looking a bit embarrassed. Glance


How did you do that??? Red Face I've been pulled loads but it's usually the met or Thames Valley and they're sound (usually have something more serious to attend to like a tea break), so I get off. But not this git today, ohhhh no, he wasn't having ANY of it. AND I had a better tache than him Mad
Karma_
quote:
Originally posted by Karma_:

How did you do that??? Red Face I've been pulled loads but it's usually the met or Thames Valley and they're sound (usually have something more serious to attend to like a tea break), so I get off. But not this git today, ohhhh no, he wasn't having ANY of it. AND I had a better tache than him Mad


Well, I did honestly think that I was doing fifty. I tested my speedometer afterwards and it was broken.

But, I think he realised that following me that closely and pulling in behind me, every time I pulled into the slow lane, whilst still staying that close, was probably quite scary for a lone woman with a baby in the back.

And I would have gone to court!! Mad
Blizz'ard

Add Reply

×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×
×