Are you sure she wasn't awake at 4am for some reason and just didn't want you asking questions?

Well, probably not Jen, because I didn't actually see the tweet... she actually told me what happened.  So as she volunteered the information, I would say she wasn't 'up to anything.'

Ahh well then, I'm just a really suspicious person lol

LOL, I think we are all like that sometimes Jen

I have an 18 year old girl..     she used to be like that with texting & stuff ..   but then so did I when I first got a phone..   especially before I met MrD, and was dating 

She's less with the social stuff now..   but since she got her iPhone in March she has been inseparable from it...      I don't mind, I love that she loves it.     We bought her it, cost an arm & a leg, so I am happy that its been worth the money

Look on the bright side sparkles..   if we didn't have mobiles they would be racking up huge phone bills gossiping on the phone like we used to do when we were teenagers.

I have a 14 year old boy..    he goes through less than £5 credit a quarter on his phone...  its usually not even charged & switched on    (but then he talks to his mates on PSN Network, when playing Call of Duty etc) 

I was  saying the same thing too my daughter last night, i said do you ever let go of that phone and she said no, i sleep with it under my pillow, my ipod is under there as well 

Awww thanks you guys.    I guess she is only the same as other teenage girls..

i'm scared about when my lil girl gets a bit older (9 atm) shes sensible right now but i know too well what happens as you grow up, I read this the other day http://spn.sr/gix and though the gun portion doesn't transfer to the UK the rest kinda does, hope you find it as funny and as 'oh yeah you're right' as i did!

i must admit i am struggling with the growing up and letting go thing  she is 17 and asking too go out clubbing and i don't want too hold her back (i was doing much worse at her age) but she has never been in these sort of enviroments and the girl's she has now met at college seem to have been allowed too do what they want, i just want my baby too be safe 

got 2 teenage girls.......one 18 one 16...........mobile phones......ooooohhhh mmmmmmmmm geeeeeeeeeeee!!

we went to new york last year..'oh' pipes up the youngest one.....'my internet on my phone contract covers being abroad............me...'are you sure?'........her(rolling eyes).....'the internet is a world wide thing mum'.

til we got home and a few days later the bill turned up........

four hundred and eighty quid.......

Julie you have taught her well hun! When ever you talk about her she seems pretty well behaved and theres no stopping time.... even though us mums really want that abilty! You seem to have a really close relationship with her and thats the best  we can hope for xx

My face reading this >

oh I hear ya Aimee... 

I am in exactly the same position..    admittedly Ickle is 18..   but I know for a fact she is not half as clued up as I was at her age...  

I worry like hell about her..     

Thank you 

See this is my worry at 9, am i wrapping her in cotton wool not letting her play out etc (her freinds live up the dtreet and knock for her occasionally. Am i stopping her learning about the big bad world at this level and making it harder for her later on?

That's just it, she said she wanted too go clubbing for her *new* friends birthday, i said you aren't old enough too get it in (she has a really young face) and she said *oh *new* friend can get me false ID  and this *new* friend has been taking money off her mum and dad for driving lessons but keeping the money for herself, they are rich so it's ok  i can see this girl leading my girl astray, i don't won't too stop her fun but she has no idea what it is like in a club, i can see me going grey very soon 

you are doing right  the one's that called for Aimee at that time of night are all low lifes now

Is she a sensible drunk or an otter? (like me)

That 'ott'er rather than otter lol

she's only just started drinking wkd etc so she has never been drunk yet *starts to panic* 

yeah Aims..   been here...  SOOOO been here.

Especially with the "new friends with loads of cash" thing.... 

I have had some horribly fraught weekends..   knowing she's out..    knowing she's ill equiped to handle it..   knowing the only way she will become equipped to handle it is to start going out.

Your girl has a boyfriend doesn't she?

I ended up wishing Ickle did..   then at least one person would have her best interests as top priority

Noooo..   I liked it as otter! 

you are now a drunken otter forever to me Jen..     with mascara & lippy obviously..   but a drunken otter non the less

Let her have a few around you (with her mates) is what i say before you let her out on the town so you know how she takes it.... i know notts and there are a few who pray on the legless.

Just tell her to stick with someone you know well and trust, a few times i've gone out with a 'mate' and she effed off and left me to get a taxi.

Or better still do you have a younger relative (neice/auntie) she could go out with first? so you know someone is keeping an eye on her and looking after her?

Oh i love that cos i am drunken atm

aimee........trust me she had to work in this house VERY hard to claw that money back..

as for them going out..

eldest spongette started going out clubbing with fake id in april(she was 18 in july)..the deal was she kept in contact by phone and was to call home at any time if she felt uneasy etc...we had no problems.

youngest goes to party's.......again the deal is i want the address.i want to know where she's staying......if i find out she's lied she's grounded......and we have had a few of those incidents.

i have no idea if i'm doing it right or wrong.....i tell them that if they behave sensibly they gain more trust........cock it up and i don't trust them.

youngest was meant to be at a party tonight.....turns out none of her crowd went and sacked off instead to some lads house.....she's come home............as i've told her...that gives her 'trust points' cos she didn't lie to me.....she could've just said she was at the party but didn't.

it's hard to start letting them test the water in the big bad world..but i have to let them....they have to learn by their own mistakes..make their own decisions...trust their own judgements good or bad

as much as i want to wrap them in cotton wool i can't.

We had one of those turney turney dial phones for ages at home. My parents put a lock on it when my eldest brother's girlfriend moved overseas and the phone bill went through the roof. It was no big deal, we just learnt to tap out the numbers like morse code 

My 13 year old is always on his BBM chatting complete shite, similar to me on the forum.

I was like you two not too long ago - in my case it was my Lad - grew up in a very rural area and not very streetwise at all - until he passed his driving test he relied on us as public transport was virtually non existant 

passed his test - first worry - hit 18 and able to go clubbing and drinking  was second worry 

he didnt take to clubbing very well so that worry didnt last long - in his first year of driving had a  nasty car crash  and six months later got beaten up [ mistaken identity] at a supervised house party 

took a good six months to sort him round from this but it made him MAN up -   during this time I also MANNED up and can say the worry has now gone everytime his car wheels move or he is out drinking for an evening 

He is a good lad and didnt need this but is very respectful and if he is going to be later than usual or is away long distance always rings to say he is ok and what time to expect him 

I am so manned up I now go to bed and sleep even if he isnt in something a couple of years ago I couldnt do 

you have to let them go - it isnt easy - but it gets easier with time 

and the mobile phone - never leaves his hand or pocket - I ban it from the meal table but am sure it is used at every given hour he can 

oh..

and i would rather they were honest with me as to where they are than lie...which is why i say 'you can go,but let me down and that's it'

Oh man... i know this is coming but im bricking it! lol to you spongey imo you have the right idea

awww MrsH..   I remember that happening 

and...   I am totally aware of the similar, but also slightly different & in some ways even scarier issues when its a son out there for the first few times..  (I have a boy of 14 too..    I am terrified of when the time comes for him to go up town)

& Yeah...    I think Aims & I know we have to let go...  

I manned up quite well in the end when Ickle was in Surrey... at the end of the day there was nothing I could do from here..   So I just had to put it out of my mind.

Bizarrely...  now she is back here..  & when out is coming back to this house..  its all fresh again 

mee too 

it isn't easy jen.......not by a long chalk...

but i'd rather they know the 'big bad world' than be frightened of it......they know all the precautions to take........don't leave drinks unattended.....don't go off with some random lad.....don't put yourself in a position you feel uncomfortable with etc..

of course as a parent you hope to god that even if they follow all that everything will be ok...but you have to think it will be.

It's hard work, but I'm with you on the letting go thing. My first instinct is to always mollycoddle mine. I was in bits the first time my eldest went to secondary by himself on the bus! Spongey

yeah...   tis the same here... 

apart from..  when they are 18 & they "cock it up"

what the hell can we do about it?

I've had a couple of disappointing incidents recently     I ended up having to give her the "I love you, & will always love you" speech...    followed up by "but right now we are mother & daughter..  we are not friends..    I would not let any of my friends treat me this way.. so why should you"

I found that worked quite well... 

we are now "friends" again 

good post and your ideas seem to be working well with your girls 

it's a lot tougher out there than when we were younger - thats what causes us to worry 

I agree, mine are 7yrs lad and 9yrs girl and i pride an open relationship, i really do try to let them feel comfy talking to me about their lives outside our home and not fear reprisals(sp). weather this carries? i really hope it does, but i know only to well how growing up changes you and your relationships with family

Aww im banking that one, seems like its been hard but you got there xxx

suzy xx

you know the troubles i've had with youngest spongette..

but now we're on a different path..it's not brilliant but loads loads better..now she knows we're not fighting her but are with her.

teenagers ALWAYS think they know best and we as parents know jack shit..how wrong can they be?!!

alot of it....i think anyway...is them thinking we 'don't understand' or are 'spoiling their fun'.........once they FINALLY get the point that we're on their side and looking out for them.....they kind of 'get it'..

I've no doubt I'll be going there again at some point jen..    but as I have told her..  the flipside of having a relationship with me that is based on mutual respect & friendship..   is..  MUTUAL respect & friendship... 

^^ that makes sense to me ...    cos I have been on the skanky red cooking wine tonight