Suppose its only fitting its started by an Essex girl... 
But, I like Amy Childs... yeah, she's a bit ditsy.. but that's part of her charm!
We even have our very own Amy smiley.. 
(courtesy of Zaph)
the management reserve the right to abandon thread, abandon HM, Change thread allegiance, and generally arse around at will
EDIT: TITLE EDITED - BY DUCKY REQUEST! 
she's getting into the bling innit! So we have forgone the alliteration for something more descriptive
Replies sorted oldest to newest
my first thought for a thread title was Amy's Armpit... the obvious titles are never my first thought
will we all have membership numbers vajazzled on?
OOOOOH!
*gets excited*
Yes... yes we will!
*goes rummaging around for latex gloves & tweezers*
patrons will kindly depilitate (if that is actually a word) on arrival!
A duck shaped vajazzle for me please!
you'd better pluck a few feathers out
*slaps it on*
awwww.. pretty
"slaps it on"? 
I'm not impressed with your bedside manner. 
I didn't follow the suggestion by my daughter.. to superimpose that picture on a duck vag.... (I can't type that word!! )
She's screaming "all you need is an "ina"... Duck va... "
Noooo, you did right Ditty. You can leave my "ina" out of this!
its for the best
I have to admit that so far, she is the best the bunch on the female side of things....if i can just get past her Jordan-esque smirk!!!
Can I have 'Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here' as my vajazzle??
Best you wax it ALL off then MrsB... And I will have to start near your belly button!
I wasn't inferring you had a "treasure trail" there btw
Don't get those sodding sequins anywhere near me!! 
Morning All 
Z.
awwwww...
we could just do something small Z... & tasteful!
Enough with the 'small' 
Z.
Best you wax it ALL off then MrsB...
Who says I haven't already
Enough with the 'small'
Z.
my first thought for a thread title was Amy's Armpit... the obvious titles are never my first thought
still time to change it.
I like Amy up to now.
I've never watched TOWIE but I like Amy.....I saw her on Celeb Juice and she can have a laugh and laugh at herself.
I like Amy upto now .. she looks like she could be a good laugh!
Yay!
well done girls!!
I also feel the need to add the "up til now" bit on the end of my "I like Amy" statements... hahahaha
once bitten & all that
Dear God!
And to think I was mocked for supporting Bea 
*flounces, rather dramatically, out of thread*
Bea was evil...
Amy is a bit ditsy... but yet to show signs of being evil
Bea was evil...
Amy is a bit ditsy... but yet to show signs of being evil
That's like saying Tara Reid was a bit off her head last night
Bea was evil...
Amy is a bit ditsy... but yet to show signs of being evil
That's like saying Tara Reid was a bit off her head last night
well ... yes...
Amy Childs has been attempting to bring The Only Way Is Essex to Celebrity Big Brother, giving Jedward an Essex makeover during a bedroom chat.
Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/tv/8728...rother#ixzz1VUW5gIVT
Amy then tried to teach him to say the phrase âcome to Essex Iâm a normal geezer yehâ in an Essex accent, but wrote off his attempts for being âAmerican, not Essex.â
Apparently giving up on full sentences, Amy and Jedward then proceeded to just shout âEssssiiiixâ over and over.
Aww... this kinda makes me miss our FM Essiiiiiix! (Essie to the rest of ya's).. I used to shout "Esssssiiiix" at her whenever we spoke!
Am loving the Amy!
Yay Trollop!
Awww Amy and Jedward! My dream team
I just watched it again, and i like her a bit more. 
Awww Amy and Jedward! My dream team
I think they'll be funny together
Well I watched a clip of her and Kerry in the sauna chatting earlier....
Dumb and Dumber doesn't come close!
I'll sign you up as a fully fledged fan member then shall I Croc?
I do quite like her but she looks too much like Katie price for my liking...and she'd be prettier if she got rid of those ridiculous lips....
So...no,,,do not sign me up....I'm just in her to slag her off.
I shall visit other places and slag them off too.
.
I shall visit other places and slag them off too.
oh.. well if you're just doing the rounds...
Same time tomorrow then? (I'll have the kettle on)
Right... where am I and is there anyway of stopping it?
Z.
.
I shall visit other places and slag them off too.
oh.. well if you're just doing the rounds...
Same time tomorrow then? (I'll have the kettle on)
More than likely.
I have a week off so I am going to take my turn to spam up the forum and post shite everywhere.
.
I shall visit other places and slag them off too.
oh.. well if you're just doing the rounds...
Same time tomorrow then? (I'll have the kettle on)
More than likely.
I have a week off so I am going to take my turn to spam up the forum and post shite everywhere.
I have a week off too...I shall watch you fertilize the forum
Ducky...get on the blower and have a word with the teachers where she went to school ickle will not be teaching there. I guess!!!
Don't get your disappointed face out cos Amy has said something a bit... erm... wrong..
there's gonna be a lot more of that to come..
She might not be the brightest of girls.. but she is funny as with it
I never watched TOWIE ...............................but - I'm really not warming to Amy - it's early days and all that but 
Don't get your disappointed face out cos Amy has said something a bit... erm... wrong..
there's gonna be a lot more of that to come..
She might not be the brightest of girls.. but she is funny as with it
See...I have never watched TOWIE either and had no idea what to expect....is she really like that?
Please say 'NO' (and mean it)
Don't get your disappointed face out cos Amy has said something a bit... erm... wrong..
there's gonna be a lot more of that to come..
She might not be the brightest of girls.. but she is funny as with it
See...I have never watched TOWIE either and had no idea what to expect....is she really like that?
Please say 'NO' (and mean it)
She's really like that
but I have never seen her be truly malicious.
I reckon we need to advertise free Vajazzles in the thread title
Amy's Vajazzle Venue?
Z.
I reckon we need to advertise free Vajazzles in the thread title
Done
and now I have advertised it...
you best snap your latex gloves on Ducky.. & prepare to bling up the groins of the forum
When are the Vajazzle's being demonstrated ?
this is true...
we need some "models" to volunteer for staff training night.. (thats kinda what the freebie special offer is about)..
we need them to sign the rash & possible skinning waiver before the initial waxing gets done
after that though its fine... we just slap a few crystals over the scabs & the jobs a good un
You have applied for your Health and Safety Certificate I presume? After the flea infestation from the Shed next door - it would be VERY risky for your customers for you to operate without itWhen are the Vajazzle's being demonstrated ?
Lie down on the couch Ev. 
tis ok Hoochie...
we have forms our customers sign...
(they exonerate us... all waxing n vajazzling is done at the FMs own risk)
When are the Vajazzle's being demonstrated ?
Lie down on the couch Ev.
hahahahahahahaha
& here is Ducky... our senior Vajazzler!
shhhaaaht ahp..
When are the Vajazzle's being demonstrated ?
Lie down on the couch Ev.
Ducky.
I'll see how yours goes first.
I still have visions of that bit on the side presenter talking jackanory style last night about them! I don't think im keen.
lie down in a crouch ev
shhhaaaht ahp..
aw sha' aahp
lie down in a crouch ev
In a wha!
>scarpers< back to the parlour..
not that! Parlour!
is that some one's pudenda or a burst balloon?
is that some one's pudenda or a burst balloon?
hahahaha
oh god... I have to stop looking at those pictures... its making my daughter shriek in disgust & I am cackling like an old witch!
Dear Lord!
and they consented to having their pic taken.
ah sod it..
time to expand the business....
We are now doing heads as well..
13th pic down!
ah sod it..
time to expand the business....
We are now doing heads as well..
I think I'd pefer to be vajazzled
we've incorporated this into our vajazzle repertoire as a result of our junior staff accidently vajazzling the wrong end of some of our clients
we've incorporated this into our vajazzle repertoire as a result of our junior staff accidently vajazzling the wrong end of some of our clients
No wonder he looks a bit miffed
13th pic down!
The Dolphin one?
she could have towelled off first
we've incorporated this into our vajazzle repertoire as a result of our junior staff accidently vajazzling the wrong end of some of our clients
No wonder he looks a bit miffed
I think he thinks he looks 'ard!
Um... just how good is the adhesive used?
Z.
oooh! yeah... that's quite good actually.
(I am really crap at the naming thing)
Um... just how good is the adhesive used?
Z.
its a bit shitÂĐ tbh Zaph...
I only know this from messing around with gem tattoos with Ickle & her mates when they were younger (I hasten to add).
false nail adhesive works better (cos its basically superglue)... but I am fairly sure its not licensed for such use... and getting them off can be a bit of a mare
Well..... I dunno what Ditty uses but I find Pritt Stick is the cheapest works a treat 
why do you ask Z?
Got something planned? We can do you a special heavy duty glue mix if you were wanting something a bit more hard wearing
Well..... I dunno what Ditty uses but I find Pritt Stick is the cheapest works a treat
Pritt Power Stick is ok
why do you ask Z?
Got something planned? We can do you a special heavy duty glue mix if you were wanting something a bit more hard wearing
ha ha ...I was just wondering how long they lasted in the normal...er rough and tumble of day to day life
Z.
can some of you lot "like" this thread please...
*goes off cursing the 'not allowed to like your own thread rule' again*
why do you ask Z?
Got something planned? We can do you a special heavy duty glue mix if you were wanting something a bit more hard wearing
ha ha ...I was just wondering how long they lasted in the normal...er rough and tumble of day to day life
Z.
I dunno.. I had wondered about the old knicker elastic thing.. but then assumed that perhaps those that had vajazzles that went below the knicker elastic line forgoed the wearing of knickers to preserve the vajazzle.
& now I have images of girls walking round nightclubs.. in tight dresses... no knickers...
leaving a trail of swarovski gems behind them as they walk
"'scuse me love.. you seem to be loosing your vajazzle" hahahahahahahaha
^^this is me cracking myself up
There should be a "you're not allowed to ask people to like your thread rule"
There should be a "you're not allowed to ask people to like your thread rule"
I might delete it now that someone (persumably you) has liked it
"'scuse me love.. you seem to be loosing your vajazzle" hahahahahahahaha
It's kind of a modern day Hansel and Gretel.
You could probably use an ultra violet torch and track them by the trail they leave
Z.
"'scuse me love.. you seem to be loosing your vajazzle" hahahahahahahaha
It's kind of a modern day Hansel and Gretel.
ooooh! now there is a good marketing ploy..
Vajazzles are not only pretty.. but they are a tried & tested personal security method
You could probably use an ultra violet torch and track them by the trail they leave
Z.
yeuw
(if I am getting that right )
(if I am getting that right )
I really hope you're not.
(if I am getting that right )
I really hope you're not.
Ickle reckons I am..
she has confirmed one thing that definitely shows up in ultra violet..
I am really hoping she knows this from watching too much CSI
Well you learn something new everyday!
Actually I've learnt two things! The fact it shows up under UV light....and the fact that Zaph knows some weird stuff.
its the man stuff that shows up...
dunno about lady stuff
hahahaha...
there is a uv light on the end of the boys Dr Who sonic screwdriver...
I am soooo taking that out with me next time I go out (that could be a while)..
I may look like a bit of a geek.. pointing my sonic screwdriver at random people in a nightclub
I thought you meant you were going to take it out the next time you leave the house! I was wondering what the hell people get up to down at the orchard.
I thought you meant you were going to take it out the next time you leave the house! I was wondering what the hell people get up to down at the orchard.
well.. anyone that doesn't have a dog with them in the orchard is always a bit suss...
& there have been teenagers going up there & drinking & STUFF recently..
bit pointless shining the sonic screwdriver on the discarded condoms though.. kinda a given!
Ahem! I meant that the crystal will show up better under ultraviolet light !!
Dirty minds
Z.
Ahem! I meant that the crystal will show up better under ultraviolet light !!
Dirty minds
Z.
yeah yeah
"av you never bin to Essix" *blink*
hahahahahaha
We need Zaph to put some red hair and falsh eyelashes on him >>>
Well that is my project for tomorrow then
Z.
oooh yes..
we need our own Amy smiley!
Z.
thats really good..
(but her hair could do with being more red.. . as in red)
Fussy... give me a moment
Z.
hahahaha..
sorry..
thank you xx
Better?
Z.
Yes...
THANK YOU xxxx
(I won't sign it off as perfect til the Duck has cast a critical eye over it though )
Better?
Z.
I can't stop watching her eyelashes!
This is slightly better.... extra black bit to right removed
I really should be doing work
Z.
We appreciate your attention to detail Zaph
You would make a great Vajazzler
You would make a great Vajazzler
I'd probably fail the practical
Z.
Haven't got much time for vajazzling today...
so just giving the parlour a bump
as you do!
Loving the new smiley
I think we need to branch out in our designs a little.....
HAHAHAHAHA
I'd better have one of those!
The dog will think I am Hitler now.. with his new mean strict diet!
*feels top lip for tache*
OMG!!!
Can I just clarify.. I definitely meant on my face with that last sentence!!!
shurrup.. I'd forgotten by the time I typed it that it was in the context of a vajazzle!
OMG!!!
Can I just clarify.. I definitely meant on my face with that last sentence!!!
Of course you did LOL.
I am liking AMY too. 
yay!
in that case Cupcake... you are authorised to use our very own Amy *blink* smiley...
Can I interest you in a Vajazzle Cupcake?
yay!
in that case Cupcake... you are authorised to use our very own Amy *blink* smiley...
THANKS Ditty
Can I interest you in a Vajazzle Cupcake?
That is spectacular Ducky! Where do I sign? 
Is that REALLY a vajazzle cupcake Ducky?
hahahahahaha...
it looks like a crown..
I need a crown for me bits!
Is that REALLY a vajazzle cupcake Ducky?
Of course it's a cupcake! Google told me it was I designed it me self with me own fair 'ands and that!
You're meant to be from Essiiiix Ducky.. not straight out of Mary Poppins!
I really have to go do dinner now...
before he gets home & catches me not doing dinner hahahaha
That is a brilliant cupcake vajazzle!
You're meant to be from Essiiiix Ducky.. not straight out of Mary Poppins!
Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-roo..... good luck, you'll need it, when I vajazzle yooooou.... 
Everyone has a luvverly time wiv Mary.....
Z.
You're meant to be from Essiiiix Ducky.. not straight out of Mary Poppins!
Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-roo..... good luck, you'll need it, when I vajazzle yooooou....
you gotta catch me first!
Anyways... I didn't come in here to say that...
I came in here to say..
still loving Amy.. and (much to my surprise) am really really loving Jedward! They're the only ones that have made me laugh out loud
Lucien is the biggest nasty in there, followed by Darren, and well... loads of the others actually.
oh &, I am afraid to say. I have come to the conclusion that Bobby is a dickhead!
A Vajazzle bump
A Vajazzle bump
*puts on beauty consulting expert head*
best letting it scab over, keep it clean & dry & dab a bit of dettol on it twice a day
Dettol?
or Domestos
I'll stick with the Dettol ta.
'ere you go
It will keep the mould & mildew at bay as well apparently
It will keep the mould & mildew at bay as well apparently
I'm more interested in the strength of the spray action
hmmm...
maybe this might suit your needs..
I know posting this is high risk with you.. tis machine porn to you innit 
I don't do red. It's too tacky
