well i thought i was perfectly clear, but i have had a few, has to be said.

You've edited, you cheat!

are these fat people asian or american?

as i said, i've had a few.

You are all confusing me and now I think I need to go back and re-read darlo's post ...  

I don't think words like nigger or Paki should be directed at, nor accepted by anyone, regardless of whether you are of that gene pool or not. My son is mixed race, and he used to get called nigger at school. He was taught this was totally unacceptable. Then he listened to rap music and heard it bandied about in abundance. I spent AGES trying to explain how it was acceptable within some circles but not others. After what seemed like an eternity, he came to the conclusion that it was pretty stupid and that it only segregates ethnic minorities, not encouraging us to all live as one and respect each other.

As for old Brucie's comments, that may well have been the case 20 or 30 years ago, but also there was a hell of a lot more open racism about back then, I know people in their 40's who were beaten up in the late 60's and early 70's just for being the wrong colour. Thankfully, times have changed (not fully though)

How are our kids/the next generation supposed to live in a multi-cultural society when there are still those from other races who want to 'stick together'?

we all wanna stick together  how else we gonna feel better and fight people/

Or Asian Americans, in which case they are totally different to British Asians!

Karma   Karma thank god for the voice of reason

on a lighter note my mate calls me 'that dozy bastard'  evryone knows 'dozy bastard ' is me, but if that  big bloke in the pub called me  that 'dozy bastard' then there would would furrowed brows and considerable tsking...

Nuff said methinks.   Before this gets Trolled.

Partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy time.

Amnesia

Maybe so, but does that make the big bloke in the pub wrong?

*** runs away ***

sometimes people call me a weegie

The whole N word scandal with Emily on Big Brother raised this in our house.   Like you I spent ages trying to explain to the kids that, yes its used in rap music, yes Charley Uchea has referred to herself as one in the house, but that they must never ever use it.   Even if their friends do.   Same with the P word.

Finally, I think they accepted it.   I KNOW they don't use those words... but the whole rap culture really doesn't help us educate our kids to not offend.

I am married to a man who is half chinese.... chink is an offensive term to him... kind of.   My daughters best friend at school was also chinese... but her and her chinese friends all referred to themselves as chinks, and would validate my daughters inclusion into their group by saying she had a 'link to the chink' (i.e. her stepfather).

I mean... I was bashing my head on the wall!   How on earth do you deal with this... in the end I begged her to just not use the word... though I suspect she does.

Oh, and Re: my hubby.  Over the years I have come to realise that he enjoys being outraged by use of perceived offensive terms in respect of his ethnicity.   But equally, there are times when he doesn't.   It depends what hat he has decided to put on.  

In my opinion he undermines it all as well!

he's absolutely right and that's what hurts....

Probably not if you're standing next to him ...

Board?

well, i'm not to  enlivened at this point, i have to say.

I can't stand the word retard either.

sometimes

I don't think he's the only one Ditty

caratino

What with this (ethnic stuff), religion (he's catholic, but confused, I am nothing, but confused), and politics (he's a tory boy... I am a floater, but not a tory).... 

... we're pretty much are on opposing sides for all the major taboo dinner party subjects!

Only one taboo subject you didn't mention.....football

Ah!  And there is one of the key reasons I put up with all the other stuff.   He's not into football!

Having been in previous relationships with an Arsenal supporter, and then a West Ham supporter.... it was like a breath of fresh air to meet a bloke that isn't into it.

He likes the rugby... but I can handle that!

Footie rocks, love the soaps.

Hi Lori.  Can you say what it's like in America without compromising your moderator status?  Obviously, the UK has a cultural history with more immigration from particular part of the world.  America has a different history.  When we say 'Asian', we almost always mean 'South Asian', either Indian or Pakistani or Bangladeshi, whereas I guess 'Asian' in America means Japanese or Korean or possibly Chinese.

In the UK, the word 'oriental' hasn't, as far as I know, reached the same sort of position as 'paki'.  It simply means 'far eastern' ... from our geographical position.  However, I've been really, really jumped on in the past on newgroups with mostly American contributors for using the word which I'm told is very offensive.  Is that so?  Also, is 'Paki' offensive over there?  I'm not justifying its use here as it's definitely an offensive word because of trouble during our integration in the 1970s and 1980s, I'm just interested.

For the record in these sort of threads, I'm a fan of multiculturalism, despite its problems, and I'm very pleased we have had South Asian immigration in particular.  I think we're a better place for it.  As an atheist, I'm less of a fan of the clashing religious views we have now but my liberalism mostly overrides that.

One of my (half chinese) husbands favourite moans....  he and his family refer to themselves as Asian.

Karma

My kids are mixed race too and my 9 year olds get very confused sometimes when they have been racially abused because they do not actually understand the meaning of the words used to offend them.

The N word is a nightmare to explain because as you say, it's used in Rap and not really deemed as offensive but in reality, in day to day life it is one of the most horrible and offensive words I know. 

Most people know that if you call someone the P or the N word, it will be taken offensively and imo if you say it to someone then you have to suffer the consequences of the action that may be taken against you for doing so.

Im not particularly PC about anything and I think sometimes things are taken way out of proportion and think over reaction to certain things these days is rife, but you have to be pretty damn naive if you think it is acceptable to call someone a paki considering the past behind the word.

Re the kids calling themselves this, then yes I do believe they should be told it's wrong and the parents should sit them down and explain why.

The never ending race debate!  It'll never have a simple conclusion for some.

i'm pretty sure there is history of groups of people taking an insult and making it positive, think it was in WW1 that a german commander called one of our units' that contemptile brigade' or words to that effect. it was an insult but the unit took it and  became known, with pride as 'the old contemptibles'

I hate both the n word and p word.Because of their history(and my experience and interpretation of them),they should not be used as descriptors.However,I do believe the 'N' word has been 'reclaimed' by young blacks in Hip Hop culture..but I'd still feel very uncomfortable hearing it used even tho I understand within that context it's not a racist slur.I'm guessing young Asian kids are doing the same with the 'P' word.
With everything it's context .

Hi, Daniel:

When we say "Asian", we mean either Korean, Japanese, or Chinese.  My daughter-in-law, who is Korean, and was adopted as an infant, often uses the "DWA" term (Driving While Asian), but she's not tied to her heritage at all.  However, she thinks she can get away with it.

The term "Oriental" is viewed as offensive, for sure.

I'm not sure I've heard Paki over here--I had to be told it was offensive to you.

I did not know that!!  I am almost speechless.  Ooooh, wonder if my hubby knows this.

Which brings us back to the original question, with the disgusting title!

It's not the meaning, or origin, of the word. It's how it has been used historically.