I wouldn't be tactful either

I'm going to take on your persona for the day Deman needs must....

 Feel free! Look at it this way, if someone's in your home and stinks it up, it shows a complete lack of respect for you, your property and your generosity in allowing them to be there. Why be polite to someone lke that?

You are right of course, I'm just too soft until I'm pushed enough, then i flip, there's not much middle ground!!!

I'll speak to the OH first and then see what happens....

Good luck with your talk DID but I'm with Toid on this

I am really sorry but to be honest, I don't see much future in this relationship if you BF can't consider your feelings at all in this!  He should be helping you out - not the other way round!  Ditch him!!!

this is where you are very lucky imo

make a list of the things you want doing, ie: "I want the whole bathroom, kitchen bleaching" & don't buy any more food or drink to put into that house until the sponging lodgers have gone hopefully never to return .... In the mean time, stay at home

That's what I'd do anyway ..... It sounds like they are taking advantage of your fella to me ...... and the thought of the guy who hasn't had a bath or a change of clothes for 2 weeks is just disgusting no bloody wonder he's ill no excuse for such bad hygene at all

Good luck Dev  .... sounds like a nightmare to me

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, DiD. Your boyfriend's mate sounds like he is taking advantage of your easy-going boyfriend.
Good luck with the chat and make sure you stick to your guns.

Just phoned him and TOLD him we're having a chat tonight, he knows what about I also said I will NOT be going there until the place has been bleached....

You tell him, DiD.

Nice one, Devil! Be strict..

Be happy... At least your family doesnt go into armed robbery like mine

Oh, i will be I think he's pooping his pants wondering what's coming....no excuse for bad hygiene IMO...there's a bathroom there, he has the place to himself in the afternoon and it needs to be sorted...

and no thin cheap stuff   domestos or parazone 

good luck - and hope you get your point across

He can Dettol it afterwards as well, just to be sure

This bloke isn't her family though, Meaty. More like a human cockroach - unwelcome, unhygienic and hard to get rid of!

At least yours is exciting Meaty

Cockroach the OH just text and asked whould he wear his hard hat...i told him full body armour would be better!

It sounds like he could be trying to push you out so he can live there with you OH like a bachelor pad..you could threaten him on the quiet then deny all when he tells your OH....

Why has he moved in with your OH when he still has his own place?  

I haven't read back, but just wanted to say DiD...

things like this (this bloke moving in) are the kind of changes that break a relationship.  Its not so much the dicky tummy & duvet incident or any isolated incident...  its that this is the start of things being really different (and in my experience not in a good way).

I think you bf having this bloke staying there will come between you.    

I'd give the bf a sudden & dramatic kick up the arse (dump him)... to see if you can shock some sense into him.

If not... wish them both future happiness together in their "all men together" type squalor...  you're too good for him!

Ok, quick update...the OH came down here tonight, We had some tea and I told him we'd have a chat after we'd eaten, what happens....his mate phones asking where he is....that was it, I let rip!!!!

I told him i thought his mate was a cheeky, ignorant fecker for not at least going home until he'd sorted his shit out and giving us some time...alone....I let rip about the quilt, the fridge and everything else, i told him how upset I was and asked him if his mate was going to be ringing him every night when he's not straight home from work like a flippin housewife......i also asked him if his mates son was at his this weekend, he said one of them was but if he has both of his sons he'll go back to his flat!!!

...another mistake as i then flipped as to why couldn't he go back to his flat anyway, at least for now!!!!

Eventually the OH agreed that he should've gone home at least until the finer details were sorted and said he'd speak to him...he is under no illusions about my feelings over it and is currently back home scrubbing the bathroom, kitchen, banisters, door handles and everywhere with bleach and dettol before I step foot in the place again....

I can put up with it for a while if the rules are put in place and they are living their own lives BUT his mate phoned him because he wasn't in from work....WTF!!!!

I have said that I understand things will be different for a while but unless he gets his priorities right, I'm off...i put up with enough shit from the last one to put myself in a position where I'm unhappy again....he's trying to ring now but I've text and told him to speak to me when he has some answers, otherwise not to bother....too annoyed to be arsed now...lol...at least it's been said in no uncertain terms, the rest is up to him.....

I'm going to put it out of my mind now and read through the threads,

Yay... Devil in Diamante Hardball!

well played girl!  

**takes a bow** I feel quite liberated now I've got that off my chest....I shall go to sleep soon and hopefully feel better in the morning... Thanks again everyone for listening

oohh go DiD

Thanks again all....i kinda like the all new, assertive ME...

Ooh well done Did!! I bet you'll sleep well now after getting that off your chest! Good luck

Way to go! Glad you feel better for getting it all out, sounds like your bf now knows exactly how you feel and you've left the ball in his court Hope it all turns out the way you want it to.

I shall await his call in the meantime I have a busy weekend planned, involving alcohol and my crazy sister...bring it on