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A few topical (re-written) songs on our current housmates

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Duvet Rhapsody

Is this a romance?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a cuddle,
No escape from hypocrisy
Caught between lies, she's feeling my thighs to see
I'm just an Aussie, she sees some empathy,
Because I'm this and that, such a ****, Little moan, little spat,
Any side of her bed doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama I just fell for her,
Found myself with her in bed, wrapped in duvet, easily lead
Mama, she may be the one,
But now I've gone and thrown the game away
Brother, ooh, Didn't mean to break your door, held my head between my hands,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really happened
Too late, she's nobbled me,
Sends shivers down my spine, wrapped in duvet all the time
Goodbye, ev'erybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Brother, ooh, I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been here at all
I see a shadow of a broken man,
JJJ, JJJ, yes it does take 2 too tango
jealous but not fighting, very, much entrapping me
(She's a hussey) She's a hussey (She's a hussey) She's a hussey, She's a hussey figured out
Marioooooo...I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
Ben plays the B1tch boy from camp family,
Spare me this life from their pomposity
Easy come, easy go, will you let her go


B@llsh!tter! No, She will not let you go
(Let her go!) B@llsh!tter! She will not let you go
(Let her go!) B@llsh!tter! She will not let you go
(Let her go) She will not let you go
(Let her go) She will not let you go (Let her go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Moner David, Moner David) Moner David smuggly knows
Beelze B is she really playing games with me, with Tree, Takes Pee
So you think you can cuddle then get on with my friends
So you think you dump me with no consequence?
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here
Josie really matters, only fools can't see ,
Josie really matters,
Josie really matters to Me
Any way the Duvet


Don’t flatter yourself - Dave the Dickensian Mix

Don’t flatter yourself in there.
Don’t flatter yourself, nobody g!ves a sh!t.
Your biblical con, so wrong
Your slosh ,dosh, mugging the public off
Don’t flatter yourself , you’re fake
Don’t flatter yourself , hiding behind a robe
It isn’t as if we care
What cheek, speak, takin his name in vain!

Given the chance to rid
We will bid you out the door
What a bleed!n bore you g!t?
Think of the glory Dave when we wave out the house
Please bog off you hypocrite!

Don’t flatter yourself just luck.
We don’t give a flying f@ck,
For after some consideration, we can state...
Don’t flatter yourself , you’re a pr!ck!



Loafer on the Sofa - Does Steve do owt mix

It was on the show Big Brother
A show just like no other
The figurehead who layed his head
who didn't really bother

The Baron was his knickname
His contrinbution real lame
He hardly ever moves about
Just one place to another.

Chorus
Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
'cause there's f@ck all else he does


The Baron's name was Steve O
we should give him the heave ho
He sits all day in misery
he brings nowt to the show

Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
'cause there's f@ck all else he does

His opposition floundered
The weak were meekly rounded
his challengers shoved out the door
It leaves us al confounded

Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
'cause there's f@ck all else he does

a couple more

I'M IN THE MOOD FOR DUVET

I'm in the mood for duvet', more foreplay'
Cos my ubby might walk tonight
I'm in the mood for strokin', chicken chokin'
Ooh so come on and hold me tight

Duvet', I'm all wrapped up, babe
It's so a groundhog day
Ooh I'm no choosy', get in my Duvet
So snuggle up cos your my prey

I'm in the mood for duvet', more foreplay'
You know I shan't ever stop tonight
I'm in the mood for strokin', chicken chokin'
Lets sit here and munch, in bed with our lunch
It might be a hunch, the best of bad bunch

So heel, get down and heel, come on and kneel
Kneel, it's how I feel, come cop a feeel.

do pee do pe doo doo pee do pe


He's gone now but

Adam and The Ants - I CAN'T STAND LIVER Ben version

I'm the dandy housmate who you're too scared to mention
I spend my cash on looking flash, admiring my reflection
the devil take your washing up and stuff the house rejection!
the way I talk and tasks I baulk just seeking more attention!

I cant stand liver, I like an easy life!
I dont deliver, I just cause the house more strife

He's the dandy housmate that so often gets a bashing
the bouffant hair, the sneery stare that set our teeth a knashing
so what's the point of snobbery, or is it mickey taking?
it's kind of tough to tell a toff to stop the bellyaching

He cant stand liver, he likes an easy life!
He wont deliver, just cause the house more strife

Replies sorted oldest to newest

For Dave. Creep by Radiohead (and Mr and Mrs Leccy)

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
I was sloshing with an angel
Your nubs makes me cry

I float in the ether
and up to the sun
I wish I was special
But I'm scum

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care who I hurt
I wanna have control
Of housemates votes
My God-sent goal

I want you to notice
So I mess around
In front of the cameras
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

I'm running around again
Air time's running out
To the garden for a run run run run...
run... run...

Money makes me happy
Buy whatever I want
I'm in the glooooowry
I wish I was drunk

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...
Leccy
Here is mine for Sunshine - sung to the tune of "Bring Me Sunshine" by Morecambe and Wise.

evict the sunshine, in a while
evict the sunshine, by a mile
in the house where they live there should be more happiness
so much joy she could give if each she would leave tomorrow

make her happy, through the tears
never bring her any fears
let your votes be as great as others from above
bring me fun, evict the sunshine, bring me love
Smarting Buttocks
Breakfast in Australia - a duet by Josie Gibson and John Dolly Parton

Josie -
Take a look at my boyfriend
He's the only one I got
Not much of a boyfriend
Never seem to get a lot
Took a jumbo cross the water
Just to join the BB queue
Said he couldn't cope without me
I'm hoping it's going to come true
But there's not a lot I can do

John Dolly -
Could I have hugs before breakfast?
Josie dear, Josie dear
My mummy usually gives them
Did I mention I'm a millionaire?
I'm a winner, not a sinner
Do you want my autograph?
Not a loser, you're a joker
But I'm playing my jokes upon you
While there's nothing better to do

Josie -
Don't you look at my boyfriend
He's the only one I got
Not much of a boyfriend
Never seem to get a lot
Took a jumbo cross the water
Told me he was close to me
Said that girls like Rachael bored him
I'm hoping it's going to come true
But there's not a lot I can do
Blizz'ard
Crab eyes:

Is it a kind of a dream
Hiding under a quilt
Wondering if tonight could be the night
Oh - o or is there some guilt?
There's a story on the horizon
A strange deal with the press
And the pair of you seem to know what's the big deal
Are you for real
Oh - o or is it a steal
Craaaaahaaaaaab eyes     etc.etc.
FM
This thread has me in hysterics, it so reminds me of many years ago I had a neighbour called Carol,who was not a nice person, so I altered the lyrics to OH CAROL by Neil Sedaka and to this day whenever I hear that song I only know my words.      
Mary Seacole
Reference: Mary
This thread has me in hysterics, it so reminds me of many years ago I had a neighbour called Carol,who was not a nice person, so I altered the lyrics to OH CAROL by Neil Sedaka and to this day whenever I hear that song I only know my words.


When Mr Blizz's secretary left her job, we changed the lyrics to American Pie, and everyone in the office went to a recording studio and cut a CD for her.

It was rather filthy, but she loved it.
Blizz'ard
copacabana for john james......

his name was john james,he's in a show
with highlights in his hair,and jeans that are threadbare
he fails his tasks,and moans and argues
and thinks he is a star,josie adores him from afar
and in a crowded house,he still is such a louse
but  a romance he and josie built
together with their quilt

in big brother......oh in big brother
john james thinks josie is his mother
in big brother...oh big brother....
manners and fashion
were not jj's passion
in the house...
he played a game....
SS
the banana splits song for dave...


one eviction,two evictions,3 evictions,four
he surely can't survive anymore
he's feelin the lord in his belly
 please get this knob off my telly

he makes stuff up and is a fraud
he makes stuff up and is a fraud
all in the name of the lord

tra la la..la la la la
tra la la la la la la
tra la la la la la la
tra la la la la la la

four evictions,three evictions,two evictions,one
the glorious day will surely come
his names is read out,his legs turn to jelly
it won't be the lord grumbling in his belly

tra la la la la la la
tra la la la la la la
SS
shout by tears for fears for john james

i shout,shout,i'm gonna break out
i won't sleep alone,or be without
josie....i'm talkin to you josie

in violent times,i dragged sunshine across the floor
she wet my hair,i couldn't take no more
that idiot ben,he just wouldn't do a task
i just quit mine,didn't need to ask

i shout,shout,i'm gonna break out
i say i'll leave they can't do without
me..you can't can you bb

i cuddle and kiss josie when i lay in bed
she can't get away,she's stuck to my greasy head
and when i findbb hard to take
i make a scene,and go through the fire escape

i shout,shout,do you think i'm a lout
feck the public it's me its about
and money..i'm talking about money
SS

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