How did you leave yours?
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I packed up his stuff in assorted bin liners and left them at his office reception with my business card for his mistress. It finally did the trick. 
I made a new plan, Stan. 
Jumped on the bus, Gus
Now I'm feeling decidedly unalliteristic...
No need to be coy, Cariad Roy
My ex left me by email...
mine just drove off. in the past tho man not gona dwel
That's just mean 
But probably not as bad as by text? 
At least I let my solicitor send a type written letter. And it went by first class post.
But probably not as bad as by text? At least I let my solicitor send a type written letter. And it went by first class post.
Reference:
And it went by first class post.
Tsk...you should've made him pay on delivery hon.
Cariad, if I'd have waited for that tight g*t to pay a penny I'd still be waiting!
I don't begrudge him though. 20 years of bliss since was worth the price of that penny black.
I don't begrudge him though. 20 years of bliss since was worth the price of that penny black.
Reference:
20 years of bliss since was worth the price of that penny black.
Great stuff... 
I'd give my eye teeth (what on earth are eye teeth btw?) for 20 weeks of bliss honey. x
Reference:
50 ways to leave your lover.
How did you leave yours?
You didn't happen to watch The Weakest Link this evening, did you? How did you leave yours?Reference:
what on earth are eye teeth btw?
I think them's the ones that are also known as 'canine' teeth.
They're good for sinking into a tight wad's flesh when they won't booger off so that you can live 20 years of bliss.
I awoke one morning after a grand night's sleep after an early night, yawned and scractched and reaced for my mobile, and switched it on.
You have 22 messages, it proclaimed.I meandered down to the kitchen forgot we only have 13 steps and not 14 and did that weird foot thing at the bottom of the stairs you do when you think there is another one but there isn't, however that's by the by.
I sat with my coffee an idly pressed the button for the first message:
10:04pm----hi i'm at the club see you in a bit
10:05pm----loveyou xx
10:08pm----not sure if you got my txt so sending another xx
10:15pm----everyones here are you on your way x
10:20pm----hello let me know you are on way and i'll get your drink in x
10:25pm----hello
10:32pm----ok this isn't funny now.
10:36pm----hello why won't you answer me?
10:47pm----i suppose you think this is funny.
11:00pm----ok so you can sit there and ignore me ha ha
11:01pm----why are you being like this
11:09pm----look, if you don't want to be with me can't you just say so.
11:25pm----i'm pissed off now
11:31pm----ignore last txt i was angry, we should talk about this
11:38pm----well thats my friday night ruined hope you are happy
11:45pm----i thought you were better than this you gutless bastard
11:59pm----well fuck you do not ever speak to me again
12:20am----i never thought you would be like this
12:22am----this is really nasty you know
12:23am----thought you were more adult than this you tosser
12:33am----why dont you just fuck off and leave me alone
12:34am----this is a service message you are able to upgrade......
All of the above was in text speak,except for the service message, of course, which made me frown more deeply.
I never saw the author of these texts ever again a happy ending I think you will agree.
So I claim the prize for being dumped whilst i was asleep and at least three miles away at the time.
<dl class="postprofile" id="profile98227"><dt>You have 22 messages, it proclaimed.I meandered down to the kitchen forgot we only have 13 steps and not 14 and did that weird foot thing at the bottom of the stairs you do when you think there is another one but there isn't, however that's by the by.
I sat with my coffee an idly pressed the button for the first message:
10:04pm----hi i'm at the club see you in a bit
10:05pm----loveyou xx
10:08pm----not sure if you got my txt so sending another xx
10:15pm----everyones here are you on your way x
10:20pm----hello let me know you are on way and i'll get your drink in x
10:25pm----hello
10:32pm----ok this isn't funny now.
10:36pm----hello why won't you answer me?
10:47pm----i suppose you think this is funny.
11:00pm----ok so you can sit there and ignore me ha ha
11:01pm----why are you being like this
11:09pm----look, if you don't want to be with me can't you just say so.
11:25pm----i'm pissed off now
11:31pm----ignore last txt i was angry, we should talk about this
11:38pm----well thats my friday night ruined hope you are happy
11:45pm----i thought you were better than this you gutless bastard
11:59pm----well fuck you do not ever speak to me again
12:20am----i never thought you would be like this
12:22am----this is really nasty you know
12:23am----thought you were more adult than this you tosser
12:33am----why dont you just fuck off and leave me alone
12:34am----this is a service message you are able to upgrade......
All of the above was in text speak,except for the service message, of course, which made me frown more deeply.
I never saw the author of these texts ever again a happy ending I think you will agree.
So I claim the prize for being dumped whilst i was asleep and at least three miles away at the time.
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I awoke one morning after a grand night's sleep after an early night, yawned and scractched and reaced for my mobile, and switched it on.
You have 22 messages, it proclaimed.I meandered down to the kitchen forgot we only have 13 steps and not 14 and did that weird foot thing at the bottom of the stairs you do when you think there is another one but there isn't, however that's by the by.
I sat with my coffee an idly pressed the button for the first message:
10:04pm----hi i'm at the club see you in a bit
10:05pm----loveyou xx
10:08pm----not sure if you got my txt so sending another xx
10:15pm----everyones here are you on your way x
10:20pm----hello let me know you are on way and i'll get your drink in x
10:25pm----hello
10:32pm----ok this isn't funny now.
10:36pm----hello why won't you answer me?
10:47pm----i suppose you think this is funny.
11:00pm----ok so you can sit there and ignore me ha ha
11:01pm----why are you being like this
11:09pm----look, if you don't want to be with me can't you just say so.
11:25pm----i'm pissed off now
11:31pm----ignore last txt i was angry, we should talk about this
11:38pm----well thats my friday night ruined hope you are happy
11:45pm----i thought you were better than this you gutless bastard
11:59pm----well feck you do not ever speak to me again
12:20am----i never thought you would be like this
12:22am----this is really nasty you know
12:23am----thought you were more adult than this you tosser
12:33am----why dont you just feck off and leave me alone
12:34am----this is a service message you are able to upgrade......
All of the above was in text speak,except for the service message, of course, which made me frown more deeply.
I never saw the author of these texts ever again a happy ending I think you will agree.
So I claim the prize for being dumped whilst i was asleep and at least three miles away at the time.
You have 22 messages, it proclaimed.I meandered down to the kitchen forgot we only have 13 steps and not 14 and did that weird foot thing at the bottom of the stairs you do when you think there is another one but there isn't, however that's by the by.
I sat with my coffee an idly pressed the button for the first message:
10:04pm----hi i'm at the club see you in a bit
10:05pm----loveyou xx
10:08pm----not sure if you got my txt so sending another xx
10:15pm----everyones here are you on your way x
10:20pm----hello let me know you are on way and i'll get your drink in x
10:25pm----hello
10:32pm----ok this isn't funny now.
10:36pm----hello why won't you answer me?
10:47pm----i suppose you think this is funny.
11:00pm----ok so you can sit there and ignore me ha ha
11:01pm----why are you being like this
11:09pm----look, if you don't want to be with me can't you just say so.
11:25pm----i'm pissed off now
11:31pm----ignore last txt i was angry, we should talk about this
11:38pm----well thats my friday night ruined hope you are happy
11:45pm----i thought you were better than this you gutless bastard
11:59pm----well feck you do not ever speak to me again
12:20am----i never thought you would be like this
12:22am----this is really nasty you know
12:23am----thought you were more adult than this you tosser
12:33am----why dont you just feck off and leave me alone
12:34am----this is a service message you are able to upgrade......
All of the above was in text speak,except for the service message, of course, which made me frown more deeply.
I never saw the author of these texts ever again a happy ending I think you will agree.
So I claim the prize for being dumped whilst i was asleep and at least three miles away at the time.
By mutual consent. Someone told her husband.
Jackson 
Reference:
By mutual consent. Someone told her husband.
Reference:
So I claim the prize for being dumped whilst i was asleep and at least three miles away at the time.
That was soooo funny JB
Jackson 
Reference:
By mutual consent. Someone told her husband
Oh Joe
ive never left a lover 
ive always been dumped
ive always been dumped
Jackson - nice touch about the step thing 
Reference:
Ive always been dumped
Jackson
I nearly changed the locks, earlier. 
Reference:
I nearly changed the locks, earlier.
What made you change your mind?Reference:
So I claim the prize for being dumped whilst i was asleep and at least three miles away at the time.
So you were clearly to blame....Reference: Rexi
What made you change your mind?
I thought he'd suffer more if I let him in! Reference:
I thought he'd suffer more if I let him in!
Go Blizzie Reference:madamski
ive never left a lover ive always been dumped
Me too madam. I was never the dumpee. 
Reference:
ive always been dumped
Then they were all stupid lexie 
Having to dump can be almost as horrible as being dumped...
the worst one I remember, bless him... I had to dump him.. I just wasn't into him... and he was into me.... so I went round and pitched it as nicely as I could....
he was a manly man... so I hadn't expected him to make it as difficult as he did... he said "I've bought you a birthday pressie"... my bday was two months away... "here... you have to take your pressie.. please, take it, take it"
I eventually just had to get out of there....
he actually dropped to his knees and grabbed hold of my leg and was wailing as I was walking out of his house!
Twas horrible!
the worst one I remember, bless him... I had to dump him.. I just wasn't into him... and he was into me.... so I went round and pitched it as nicely as I could....
he was a manly man... so I hadn't expected him to make it as difficult as he did... he said "I've bought you a birthday pressie"... my bday was two months away... "here... you have to take your pressie.. please, take it, take it"
I eventually just had to get out of there....
he actually dropped to his knees and grabbed hold of my leg and was wailing as I was walking out of his house!
Twas horrible!
Reference:
he actually dropped to his knees and grabbed hold of my leg and was wailing as I was walking out of his house!
Aww why has no one ever loved me as much as that It's kind of funny, and kind of not Ditty...............Heartbreaker Actually........if someone grabbed my leg.......I would probably take pity, and be trapped in a loveless marriage FOREVER
Unless you were Heather Mills, and you could just hop it, and leave them with it!
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Aww why has no one ever loved me as much as that
nooooo Stoory... was orrible. I fancied him before I was with him... he was dead funny & stuff... but he went all mushy & started to do my head in after a couple of weeks of seeing him.Reference:
Unless you were Heather Mills, and you could just hop it, and leave them with it!
Its more the thought of what he would be doing to my detached leg... than me actually losing the leg that makes that a non starter Reference:
Unless you were Heather Mills, and you could just hop it, and leave them with it!