A woman next to me dropped a £10 note
I wondered,
"What would Jesus do?"
He'd turn it into wine, I thought.
So I bought a nice Pinot Grigio
And when I poured it into a glass and drank it, I found that it had turned into water.
(sorry, Saint, I couldn't resist it 
)
Sea Lions are faster in water than humans
They can also outrun some humans
So ... in a triathlon you will have to make up a lot of time in the bike trial
A genuine comment found on the internet read,
"OMG I just found out China is 10hrs ahead of the USA - why didn't they warn us about 9/11. F*** those guys."
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
"Don't you mean a Martini?" says the bar man.
The Roman replied,
"If I'd wanted a double - I'd have asked for one"
Another Roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers, and says,
“Five beers, please.”
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
