I once cooked a lovely chilli con carne.. Except I had accidentally cooked the paper from the tray of mince in with it too. We threw up for 2 days

Another time I tried to seperate frozen sausages with a blunt dinner knife, and ended up with 4 stitches in my thumb

Also, I once forgot what order to serve spag Bol and presented mr summer with a plate of what we now refer to as "spaghetti turnovet nowr" ur
Last year I put a plate of chilli on the sofa (because I didn't want to mark the coffee table) while I went to get a drink, and distracted by some quality action on Wimbledon I SAT on my dinner! I stained my favourite pj's and burned my bum

  ROFL Oh Sweet! My cheeks hurt from laughing at that

[not the burned botty - sorry about that] 

On holiday in France one year we stopped over in Arras and booked into a lovely restaurant. I left my dictionary/phrase book back at the hotel. When in France I do enjoy a nice bit of Veal (sorry to the veggies). I know that Veau is Veal in French so I only scanned the menu and put my order in. I bit into my dinner to discover to my absolute horror that it was liver eeeeeeeeeeeeeeugh. I nearly through up - offal (and butter beans) is probably the only things I just can't stand.

When I re looked at the menu I discovered in my haste I'd ordered foie de veau. Fortunately Mr Woo swapped his dinner with me.