http://www.visitscotland.com/a...upper-whats-involved

this link might help you, Cosi.

Nope sorry, there are no Scottish FM's round these parts Cosi

You get a fight at the end.

Don't wear Campbell.

And huge thanks Yogi   I shall give it my full attention once I've vented at CBB.

I've never been to a Burns supper.  

I'm ashamed.   

I have and never again !! I let my hubby go ,he was at one last Friday and has another .

Burns Supper in style

If there’s one night in the year to gather all of your nearest and dearest for a hearty feast with delectable haggis and drams along with rousing verses and ceilidh dancing until the wee hours, it must be Burns Night.

The ceremonies may range from small, informal gatherings to large-scale dining experiences full of pomp and entertainment, but all centre around the same key rituals and traditions.

We’ve outlined below the essential ingredients to throwing a successful Burns Supper so simply make sure you pull out all the stops below and you and your friends are in for a night to remember.

• Haggis, neeps and tatties (read how to prepare your own haggis)
• Scotch whisky
• Traditional Scottish music
• Copies of Burns’ poetry to recite including Address to a Haggis, a centrepiece of Burns Supper,and Selkirk Grace
• Sing Auld Lang Syne to bring the night to a close

Right up my street then   

I can't wear Campbell..! I'm trying to get into it by going with the family ancestry but I'm a bit b*ggered - I can't find a Murison tartan.  Apparently it's a bastardisation of Morison anyway 

I'm posting announcements in the Fife Daily Bugle about you.

Oh no don't... the tartan mafia will get me!

You'll be stalked like the lesser spotted haggis  

Neither have I. I hate haggis and neeps with a passion!

Oh I love haggis and neeps - just never been to a Burns Supper   I have haggis in the fridge for the weekend...

See, now I've been when they've piped in the haggis but it wasn't Burns Night.  And I remember some bloke speaking in tongues aboot a puddin' race....but that's it.

I can't stand whisky.

I don't like the bagpipes very much either.

Haggis is horrible (don't beat me!)  I am a whelk & jellied eel eater and therefore no stranger to questionable foodstuffs 

They used to make me do Scottish country reels for detention at school.  Two whole terms I spent every bluddy thursday afternoon prancing around getting dizzy 

I like neeps (swede?), so that's a bonus 

The tartan mafia have always got you   

Now you know how I feel.

   Thats abuse!

I wouldn't be able to eat the haggis so would have to swap it for something else... perhaps a macaroon bar... or some oddfellows. (*attempts to keep the context Scottish).

I think you could quite legitimately ask for Mead. Much nicer with haggis etc. than Whiskey (I think). I love the pomp and circumstance about the haggis and it's always been a good excuse for a new dress.

The first time I went they told me they were piping the haggis in ,I had no idea I had to walk behind it!! mortified.

Damn right it was abuse!  I had to wait an extra hour before I could have a fag at the bus stop! 

Tell me more about these oddfellows of which you speak..?

Personally I think EVERY politician should walk behind ME - haggis or no haggis 

I'm not sure about mead, Col.  Would rather just get stuck into the vino tbh.

They're sweets.

We're going to one tomorrow too. Wear tartan, eat haggis neeps and tatties and do the Gay Gordons 

Drink, eat, drink, dance, drink, mingle, drink and then drink some more 

Sounds good

And then fall over!    

Thanks Fluffy; that's solved that mystery 

I think I'll be able to cope with the drinking and dancing part   and will probably be the one doing the holding up.  Husbands are a liability at events like this.... 

You should hear what he says aboot you    

It's poetic, I'll give you that