The Liverpool manager flies to Kabul to watch a young   Afghani play football.  He is suitably impressed and arranges for the  player to come over.

 

Two weeks later Liverpool are 2-0 down to Newcastle with  only 20  minutes left. The manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod, and on he  goes. The lad is a sensation. He scores 3 goals in 20 minutes  and wins the  game for Liverpool . The fans are delighted, the players  and the  coach  are delighted and the media love the new star. 

 

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to   tell her  about his first day in English football. 

 

'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20   minutes today,  we  were 2 - 0 down but I scored 3, they call it a  hat-trick, and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the press, they all love  me.'

 

  'Just wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about  Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I   were ambushed  and assaulted, she would have been raped but for a  passing police vehicle.  Your brother has joined a local gang of looters and set   fire to some  buildings and all while you tell me that you were having   a great  time!!'   > 

 

The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but   I'm really  sorry.'   > Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' says his mum.  'It's your bloody fault we came to Liverpool in the  first place!'