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Hey guys

 

I need your advice on something that is really getting to me.

 

I started a new part time job last Wednesday, but after the first couple of hours of being there, I felt I did not like it at all. It is in an open plan office, which made me feel really vulnerable, exposed and self-conscious and as if I had no privacy. On top of this, I did not feel that I fitted in at all with the other staff and felt like the odd one out. I hated it so much that I phoned in sick on my second day, as the thought of going back there made me feel extremely anxious and faint. I don’t know why I had such an extreme adverse reaction to the place, as the people there were civilised and reasonably friendly.

 

I think that maybe a large part of the reason why I am feeling like this is because I am going through a bit of depression at the moment, and finding it difficult to function in general, even the littlest things like getting out of bed and showering for me are hard and feel like a concerted effort.

 

I am next due in on Monday and am dreading it already. I am contemplating pulling out of the job and making up an excuse, but I can’t think of a plausible one. I feel a bit guilty that I am even contemplating doing this, as I have had congratulations and well wishes from family and friends about the job since I got it and I know that they would be disappointed in me for jacking it in so soon. It has crossed my mind to make up an excuse to leave the job, but just pretend to my family and friends that I am still working there, until I find something else.

 

I am unsure what to do and would appreciate some advice!

 

Thanks in advance

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I think you are right, I am feeling down at the moment because my relationship with my boyfriend is on the rocks and we don't know if we are going to stay together for much longer. If we don't, then I will need to find somewhere to live and I won't be able to do that if I am not working and earning, so it is a catch 22 really  
 
Originally Posted by Saint:

Hello Sheryl

Perhaps you need to look a little deeper into your feelings of depression - as the job seems like a symptom not the cause.

Maybe every job will feel like this unless you treat your depression.

What do you think?

Best wishes

 

S

Hello Sheryl and welcome back

 

You have been given some good advice here by most... I can only add that lying to your friends and family isn't going to make you feel any better or be an easy thing to do.... so i wouldn't advise that at all.

 

Go see your doctor, he/she will help you sort it all out and get you back to feeling ok again.

 

Good luck and keep us updated

Jen-Star
Originally Posted by cologne 1:

Am I the only one remembering this troll?

 

It's strange Cologne, but I hardly ever look at profiles and I did with this user before I saw your post. Now I'm not saying that you are right or wrong but most of the posts appear to be about job problems or relationships issues.

 

My advice Sheryl if you need it is to seek professional advice, your problems appear to be long lasting and posting here has clearly not helped as you are having a recurrence of your past issues.

 

I agree with Saint above.

Enthusiastic Contrafibularities
Originally Posted by Cinds:

Sorry Sheryl, but a couple of hours?? Give it a chance, a jobs a job it helps pay the bills. I had a job that made me feel the same way but I stayed for 8 years because it paid the bills. As for the depression, see the Dr.

Sounds harsh but I feel the same Cinds, calling in sick on the second day after only giving it a couple of hours  Feelings of not fitting in and being the 'odd one out' when you don't know anyone and haven't given it a chance  Work is work not a social event.  Stop contemplating your environment and colleagues, get your head down and get on with it.

If you are properly depressed rather than 'feeling down' cos your relationship is on the rocks, go to the doc's 

FM

Give it another go Sheryl. I'd give it at least a week before you make a decision. Give yourself plenty of time in the morning to get ready. Feel comfortable in your dress/appearance. Try (it may be hard but try) to put a smile on your face when speaking to people or catching their eye.

 

As for feeling vulnerable and self conscious in an open plan office just remember - not  all eyes are constantly on you - other people have work to do and although you are the most important person in your life you're not a big deal to them (harsh words but true).

 

You wont have created a great impression by calling in sick on your second day but you can turn it around with a small effort. Hold your head up, look people in the eye, try to smile and ask for help if you need it. Treat it as an acting job - be a different person for a day and try not to be too introspective.

 

If you pretend you are confident - eventually you just might believe it.

 

And remember - everyone has insecurities - some are better at hiding it.

 

 

Good luck and do come back and let us know how you get on.

Soozy Woo

Think of it this way ... what do you really have to fear from your new job?

Is it a fear that is real or imagined?

 

If you leave your job then claiming all the benefits you need might be difficult. And if you say its a depression issue then they will ask for a doctors assessment which will have to be disclosed to your next employer.

 

If you really need help - you owe it to yourself to get it.

 

 

Saint

Thanks for your advice everyone. I know that it is best I go back to work tomorrow, but something inside me is telling me not to. I just cannot work out what it is. I have worked through depression and a general feeling of being an outcast for years, but just do not feel I am able to with this job, which suggests that it is the working environment, and not my depression that is stopping me from going back :-(

S
I got the job through an agency though and am going to feel a bit silly phoning them up tomorrow and explaining my reasons for not wanting to go back.
 
I do not think my family and friends will understand, as they are always saying how jobs are hard to come by and how I need to grab every opportunity, which is why I don't feel comfortable with telling them what I have decided to do. But I also will feel bad if I lie to them and pretend that I am still working there when I am not!
 
Originally Posted by ~Sweet Summer~:
Be honest, there's no shame in saying that it wasn't the job for you. Don't go back, your family will still love you regardless and the office can find a more suitable person to help them out. I hope you find happiness

 

S
It probably will be. To be honest, I am so fed up and unhappy with my life and the way that I am. I am full of so much self hatred, that it makes getting through the days and interacting with people so hard.
 
I don't want to die, but I a don't want to live either :-(
 
Originally Posted by Saint:

Won;t the next job be the same? Or risk being the same?

You need deeper issues sorted.

Only you can tackle that.

Good luck

 

S

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