A lady helps her man install a new computer.

Once it is completed,

She tells him to select a password,

A word that he'll always remember.

As the computer asks him to enter it,

He looks at his wife and with a macho

Gesture and a wink in his eye, he selects

A word but he is annoyed with her reaction,

When he selects: penis.

As he hits "enter", to validate the selection,

His wife collapses with laughter and

Rolls on the floor in hysteria .

Very norty 

Soozy! !! 

Ooof! 

 

Plain looking nurse talking to prettier nurse:

Have you seen that Welshman in Ward 3 who is tatooed all over? I was giving him a bath this morning and I noticed he's even got LUDO tattooed on his you-know-what."

 

Pretty nurse: "That's not LUDO, that's LLANDUDNO."

I know one like that .................a girl meets a Jamaican guy nude sunbathing on the beach .................she looks down and sees that he has a girls name tatooed on his penis - she says 'Who's Wendy?' - he says - you've got it wrong - it reads 'Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day.

Ha! I love kn*b jokes.  I must have been a bloke in a former life 

On our way home tonight in Coach M on the 18:16 from Peterborough, the guy opposite us entranced us with magic tricks. At one stage he reached in his left hand pocket and took out a miniature grand piano. He then took out a miniature man who proceeded to play pitch perfect piano pieces. After the little guy, who was no bigger than a Starbucks coffee cup, finished, we exclaimed, "wow! How did you do that?" He replied, " one day I was walking through the woods and I stumbled across a little elf caught in a trap. I freed him. He dusted himself down and said, " thank you. You have saved my life! You can have a wish, anything you like." I just can't remember asking for a nine inch pianist." (That's the only knob joke I know)

If we're doing knob jokes .................

 

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory.
> 
> For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle
> slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help
> from the factory psychologist.
> 
> After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead
> and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.
> 
> The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Sacha, became
> alarmed and wanted to know what had happened. Yossel tearfully
> confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
> He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and
> he was immediately fired.
> 
> Sacha gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his
> pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis. She
> looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?"
> 
> Yossel replied, "I think she got fired, too."

Haha!