WOMEN'S REVENGE 

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. 
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, 
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'  

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN 
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) 

I know I'm not going to understand women. 
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, 
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, 
and still be afraid of a spider.  


WIFE VS. HUSBAND 

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.. 
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and 
neither of them wanted to concede their position.. 
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, 
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' 

WORDS  

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 
30,000 to a man's 15,000. 
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... 
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' 

CREATION 

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be 
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. 
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; 
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! 

WHO DOES WHAT 

A man and his wife were having an argument about who 
should brew the coffee each morning. 
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, 
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. 
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and 
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' 
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee..' 
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old Testament and showed him at  the top of several pages, that it indeed says .'HEBREWS'  
The Silent Treatment 

A man and his wife were having some problems at home 
and were giving each other the silent treatment. 
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him 
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. 
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 
'Please wake me at 5:00  AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it. 
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go andsee why his wife hadn't wakened him, 
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. 
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up..' 
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. 

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft 
before the masterpiece 
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT! 
 

 
 
 

I like the 5am wake up call

So true Soozy

I rather like the in laws one 

As an aside - Mr Woo always gets things wrong - I was talking to him the other day about losing weight and said I didn't want to end up with a turkey neck.

Last night he looked in the mirror and said 'Am I starting to get a chicken chin?'

Lol I stole the 5am one and posted it on facebook.

Our feeble hopeless nature is meerly a veneer carefully constructed to make yous wimmin feel 'right' and empowered thereby enabling you do most of our work for us.

Meanwhile men continue to own everything

I liked the in-laws one and the coffee - Hebrews 

A couple of good one there that made me chuckle.