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Originally Posted by Soozy Woo:

I know how hard it is to walk away from an abusive/unhealthy relationship. I watched my sister suffer for 22 years before she plucked up courage to leave. In saying that though she was very young, she had children and life was different then (sorry but it was).

 

I can't get my head around this case at all TBH - she was only with him for seven months - he must have displayed the behaviour very early on - why was she with him.

 

I know I'll get slated for this but I can't see what the court case was all about - he was obviously very controlling and a bit of a nightmare but it was him that ended the relationship. I'm sorry but I don't get it. 

You won't get slated from me Sooz! I kind of have the same questions, it's hard for me to get my head around this case, as I said before just becasue I question it, by no means am I condoning his behaviour, but I have, and still question her motivation in all of this.

Senora Reyes

Well, I applaud her for bringing this to court. As has been said, she had evidence, in the form of a recording of his abuse. If she hadn't, he could easily have got away with it. I hope more people who are going through this, get proof and file charges against their abusers. I would question his ex-wife's testimony. Maybe she is still scared of him, or scared of him losing his career and therefore not be able to support his children. Another ex has confirmed his controlling and jealous behaviour. I would doubt that the man I heard on those tapes has never behaved like that before. 

 

Those government adverts, showing that teenage boy who was trying to control his girlfriend and being abusive towards her, if he didn't get his own way, did not come out of nowhere. This is a real problem and very, very common. The victims are the ones who don't walk away at the first sign. Making them feel stupid for not doing so is not helping. Victims feel shame already, feel like no one would believe them, feel that their motives will be questioned and feel that no one will understand why they didn't just walk away.

Blizz'ard
Originally Posted by Senora Reyes:
Originally Posted by Soozy Woo:

I know how hard it is to walk away from an abusive/unhealthy relationship. I watched my sister suffer for 22 years before she plucked up courage to leave. In saying that though she was very young, she had children and life was different then (sorry but it was).

 

I can't get my head around this case at all TBH - she was only with him for seven months - he must have displayed the behaviour very early on - why was she with him.

 

I know I'll get slated for this but I can't see what the court case was all about - he was obviously very controlling and a bit of a nightmare but it was him that ended the relationship. I'm sorry but I don't get it. 

You won't get slated from me Sooz! I kind of have the same questions, it's hard for me to get my head around this case, as I said before just becasue I question it, by no means am I condoning his behaviour, but I have, and still question her motivation in all of this.

I got the impression that her alcoholism made her very codependent on him very early on.  He was feeding her with money to buy her alcohol irrespective of his statement that he tried to get her into rehab early on and as can happen, she had very low self esteem and it's incredibly easy to control someone like that.  It could be that she believed she was lucky to get anyone to stand by her and I'm not convinced him being a celebrity came into it. 

 

I have to say I'm still suspicious of his wife supporting him in court - I do think he was like that with her but I get the feeling she's been 'coerced' in to supporting him under 'threat' of him withdrawing financial support   <----- that is just my belief.   They had a fling while he was married and split up and then his marriage finished before they took up with each other again.  She could have developed real feelings for him by this stage.

 

I wonder if her motive was to 'out' him as an abusive person - may be following therapy she thought she could do this?  She certainly didn't gain financially from doing it and I'm sure had she gone to the press, she'd have been paid.  But then he could have got one of these super injunctions on her?  I'm talking in riddles now so I'll bow out 

FM

n her first television interview since Collins was convicted of harassment causing her fear of violence on at least two occasions Anna, from West London, revealed that although she left Collins over his behaviour it was actually her father who went to the police and convinced her to press charges.

She said: 'I didn’t actually go to the police. When I left him on July 4, I just went home to my parents and slept in the spare room and for about two and half months I was just crying and looking at websites about domestic abuse because I was always one of these people who just thought, "I'd never put up with that. The minute someone swore at me I'd be gone".

 

But it was my dad who went to the police. I was reluctant to, but I spoke to them and they were amazing and I just thought there is no way I can let him get away with this because who’s he going to hurt next?'

Anna Larke appeared on the show to give a voice to the other men and women stuck in abusive relationships

Anna Larke appeared on the show to give a voice to the other men and women stuck in abusive relationships

When asked why she put up with the abuse, she said: 'I absolutely adored him, he was the love of my life. In the beginning he was so lovely, but gently, ever so – I don’t know how they do it, but the abuse is just sort of drip fed, and by the time that you’re in love and completely smitten and I’ve moved in with him and everything, then you think, "Oh my God, he’s a control freak" because I’ve got no friends now.

'When we were first together it was absolutely amazing. He was just so wonderful, kind, generous, lovely, love of my life actually, and I just thought to myself, "How on earth did I ever get so lucky?".'

Collins' controlling behaviour included stopping her speaking to friends and family, dictating what she should wear, taunts about her weight and pushing her in front of a moving car.

He even made her write down a list of anyone she had ever been intimate with on a pad of paper.

Anna said: 'By doing the pad he had a complete record of my past, which is the ultimate control and he would use it against me.'

Incredibly Anna told hosts Aled Jones and Lorraine Kelly that she doesn’t know whether she still loves her ex.

She said: 'I think so, yes. I think so, I don’t know. I'm so confused, my head is still kind of confused about it.'




FM
Originally Posted by Soozy Woo:

I know how hard it is to walk away from an abusive/unhealthy relationship. I watched my sister suffer for 22 years before she plucked up courage to leave. In saying that though she was very young, she had children and life was different then (sorry but it was).

 

I can't get my head around this case at all TBH - she was only with him for seven months - he must have displayed the behaviour very early on - why was she with him.

 

I know I'll get slated for this but I can't see what the court case was all about - he was obviously very controlling and a bit of a nightmare but it was him that ended the relationship. I'm sorry but I don't get it. 

I've lived with 2 abusive relationships. the first one I walked out off after 4 months, the second lasted 14 and I even married him. So I know it's each case on it's merit. Listening to the tapes sounds absolutely dreadful and he's had his sentence plus end of career, but if I had taped some of the arguments we had or I've overheard other couples having, we'd have hundreds of ppl in prison for harrassment. He has serious problems to address, but I don't believe he should be in prison.

cologne 1

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