ello col.

sorry thats got you down, but people cannot be trusted .

what is a vitrine?

It's a kind of sideboard with windows at the top and doors at the bottom.

He sold the grave col?     How can someone do that?  

I don't know kaffy. I got drunk tonight and called them, they all put the 'phone donw on me. (I called about 4 times).

When I went to my parents grave a few years ago, I was really very, very upset. They'd bought the plot, so that little banker must have sold it to someone else. I notice that his family mausuleum is still there.

Blimey Col.. I don't know what to say 

Not to worry Kaffy. I shall have a go tomorrow during the day. I'll report back.

Col, call the crematorium and ask to speak to the secretary there.

They have all the details of every plot etc. 

Don't rely on some schyster; and don't even try to reason with him if you've had a drink tonight.

Oh, I am so struggling with something similar! My parents left everything to me, as they thought that, one sister in particular, would grab everything and we would let her! Soooo, their Will said.....everything is left to Supes.... and then I had a list of how I was going to share out the money, prized posessions / jewellery etc which I did. There were certain things I 'kept' one of which was my dad's tools, (believe me, he had a saw/spanner/ladder/hoe etc. etc. for every eventuality, and more bloody tool boxes, than any of you could imagine!) Everyone knew that if you wanted an x that you could borrow it from Kenny.... I wanted to keep that going, but didn't have space to keep them all, so they were kept in *another family member's* place. I learned last week that they'd sold them all

Ouch to both of you! people can be so mean sometimes

That's a soul destroyer, Supes.  Everyone knows that taking the 'tools out' is a rite of passage for an apprentice, so their importance as you accumulate more over the years cannot be measured.

I'd commit illegalities if someone spoilt my dad's tool kit

Cologne, similar happened with my ex's grandmother in Germany, but it was because the plot that was bought was for a limited time only - I think it was 20 years  ( the family don't live in Germany now, and weren't aware that a notice had been put on the grave to say that renewal was due till it was too late and the plot had been re-used )  Seems that was fairly common in that part of Germany .

Might be best to contact whoever administers the plots to find out exactly what happened - they should be able to tell you when and how ownership of the plot changed . 

I am v v upset about it Cosi....they weren't theirs to sell, they were supposed to be 'kept' and 'shared' as they always were in my dad's lifetime. But, I'm saying nowt. what's the point, what's done is done..hope they can live with themselves for a few hundred quid or whatever they were sold for

It is very upsetting when stuff like this happens Cologne but if it was a legal exchange one favour for another.. you giving them it in exchange to look after your mums grave.. I dont know how long ago it has been since your mum passed away  ..if they fufilled their promise I dont think they have done anything wrong,perhaps if they knew how to contact you they could have offered you it back as a kind gesture..if it would have been me I would have done that, how long have they have been tending to the grave?how can anyone sell a plot that is being used if this can happen surely the family would have had to be legally informed to make the decision as they are the ones who bought the plot,I would do as Slinki suggested above^^^ and contact the administration they will be able to tell you more and perhaps give you peace of mind

I really can imagine believe me. Mr Woo has a bit of a fetish for tool boxes - our garage is full of them in all shapes, colours and sizes - I wouldn't mind if he did any DIY but he does bugger all!

And  to you and Cologne - what is treasured and sentimental to one person often means nothing to another - very sad - very thoughtless!

Col I completely understand because of things that were done after my dad passed away and it is heartbreakingly soul destroying.My grandson is running around here so I'll pop back later and chat ,

My grand son is due any minute - we'll let them run around together. He's gonna be so excited to see my bomb site kitchen - I've told his mum to do him a packed lunch today.

He's sat beside me here atm watching Peppa Pig,this boy doesn't stay still for long though,he's a live wire.Put a blanket on the ground Soozy,tell him you're having a picnic 

Cologne, how horrible

I did a quick search and found a link to some information on the Basington Council website.

http://www.basingstoke.gov.uk/...nerals/questions.htm

It says this:

Why have I only been sold the grave for a set period of time? I want the grave forever.

The law stipulates that graves cannot be sold for more than 100 years.  However, the law does permit grant of ownership to be extended, and some authorities write to owners every five years, offering this choice.  This enables the grave to stay in the family for as long as they wish.  Even if this topping-up option is not offered, you (or your family) can renew your lease when it expires.

I may be wrong but I think Colognes mothers grave is in Germany.

Soozy, I was assuming it was in this country, so if so, my link would be useless.

There's some information about graves in Germany on this link then.

http://www.findagraveforums.co...t&Number=2083340

It seems to be 25-30 years but can be extended by periods of 10 years.

That's horrible! Surely if you buy a grave plot it's at least for the life of immediate loved ones to tend.

My unmet eldest brother is buried in Germany somewhere...

it was the day before his birthday..my mother had promised him some sweets...she was upstairs tending to my now eldest brother...my mother smoked...he went into her bag for sed sweets & found MATCHES.

You can imagine the following few hours!

Horrid! 

That's awful ..............makes you count your blessings. It doesn't bear to think what some people go through. makes me think of that family that lost six children at the weekend 

Not something I would care to experience Soozy..

That family's story is such an horrific one..what an evil thing for someone to do...set fire to a house knowing there a children inside...just plain Evil! 

That's awful Col. I hope you get it sorted out.

I thought the same, i'll have to ask me mum if she's aware of this as we have a family plot