Works the other way around too.

I was just about to say that Rawks... In fact I may alter the thread title slightly.  I did say in the thread though that it was MOSTLY women because it often seems to be....

I saw that woman on the One Show!

How she never saw that coming from the off is a mystery to me.

Ah the Elaine character from Catherine Tate syndrome.

 

It beats me Sparkles. You have to assume that the women in question are lonely and ripe for exploitation. My friend had a friend that met a North African bloke on holiday. They fell in love (well she did anyway), he came over here and she has spent 5 years keeping him as he is here illegally.

 

She had her own business, a large house in Surrey and quite a lot of money in the bank from what I have heard. 5 years later she is living in a 1 bed flat (still with him) and her business is practically gone as is her money.

I've only heard the details second hand but don't doubt the source. She had been married for a long time before her husband went off with some tart half his age and the holiday where she met the bloke in question was when she was at her most vulnerable so I guess that this bloke saw that and acted on it

Veggie - I would be interested to know what that guy does once all her money does run out and her business is no longer there

Well that's the thing Jen. My friend (and others) have tried to sit this woman down and talk to her but she won't have it. Plus I think the guy has managed to detach her from most of her former friends so she is quite isolated.

I met her several times when she was with her husband and she seemed a very switched on, intelligent woman. I actually feel very sorry for her as the fall she will take when her money goes will be hard.

 

She never had any kids so the inheritance question doesn't arise but she will be left with nothing.

I'm eagerly awaiting my share of $52,000,000 that God asked a kind Nigerian gentleman to share with me, in return for me allowing him to use my bank account to get the money out of the country.

 

Seriously though, I guess it's loneliness and vulnerability that's a major factor.

But then again he could stay with her.... Most people will take being happy over cash, only some cant tell the difference between true happiness and being taken for a mug.

 

Some would say is the amount she's spent worth it for how happy she is? Although as you said the fall is gonna hurt

Some people are just lonely. They can have family and friends but not feel the closeness they need. If they get scammed it's their own fault but I do feel sorry for them. To be that desperate but yet so blinded to what's happening. I'm sure lots of people have done stupid things in order to feel loved. Thankfully most of the time it doesn't mean parting with thousands of pounds.

No matter how strong a woman you are THAT has got to hurt and knock the hell out of your confidence. 

It's awful that some people do actually fall for such scams, I hope that I'm never in a position where I've lost my wits and am vulnerable enough to fall for such a scam. I hope karma catches up with those persons that take people's money in this way!

I dont know, I dont understand it. What I will say is that these people are skilled in the art of deception. So its easy from the outside to see the whole picture but you cant underestimate the ability of these conmen to work their magic.

 

 

I also remember once reading an article about how its often the most successful and intelligent women who are prey to this sort of thing. Because a conman wants what they have. For instance in a group of women, he wont go for the obvious easy target, as usually they have nothing. They go for the strong one, who has a lot.  They see them as a challenge.  Then when they get them where they want them, often the once strong woman is too ashamed to admit what is going  on so the cycle continues, down and down until she is left with nothing. I cant remember all of it but I wish I could because it was really interesting.

 

 

I watched something recently about that.  A strong business woman taken in by a fraudster.  She ended up selling her house for him, abandoning her children for him, then eventually going on the run from the police with him.  Bizarre 

That's how I see it Gyps, it's easy for people looking from the outside to think 'how bloody stupid are they' ,'(thought it myself,) but these people are often in it for the 'long game' and can be v clever at their 'art.'

Have to say 'though, when I see middle aged women/men, being conned by much younger, often good looking men/women I do think from the outset 'get a bloody grip, why on earth would they be interested in you?'

 

Reading this thread I generally do feel sorry for women in this situation...   I can understand the loneliness & then the private humiliation & desperation that then traps them. 

 

However...   the bit I have put in bold..   that's where my empathy stops dead in its tracks.     I don't get it..    I have friends who's Mums moved abroad & left them for a man...    My mother in law moved to the States leaving my husband & 2 of his brothers here for a man..    I know women who have left their kids for a bloke..    and I just don't get it.

 

I've been with some right wrong 'un's in my time (hahahahaha... oh god I really have!)..   but the moment it impacted on the kids...  or threatened to was the moment it ended. 

 

In fact...   the instability that going out with "players" caused to my life & consequently to my kids life was what made me decide to stop going out with that kinda bloke.   Then I met MrD...   not my usual type at all..   thank god!!    So I indirectly have my kids to thank for my "happily ever after" choice of bloke! 

A prime example for you. (Sob sob, my unclaimed millions that someone else must have by now)

 

I am Murphy Dunbar, Attorney at Law, I contacted you to assist in distributing the money left behind
by my late client,whom you share the same last name with.
My late Client has a deposit of (USD$9.6 MILLION USD) lodged in the bank.

I can be reached on (Murphydunba@mail.mn) for more details.

Sincerely yours.
Mr.Murphy Dunbar
(Principal Attorney at Law)

Thanks for all the responses folks.    Yep, still can't fathom why these people (usually women) fall for these scams.  As someone said, when middle aged women have these young 20-something, gorgeous, young, fit men coming onto them from *insert relevant country*  you have got to question why they believe they want them.  I am 47 this year, and if some hot 25 year old guy came onto me, I would think he was taking the piss or it was a dare.  I am not a hideous woman, but I don't look like Cheryl Cole and I don't look 25.  

 

Maybe it is desperation and loneliness.  But I just do NOT get it.  I just simply would never ever ever give anything to someone I don't know. In fact, there are very few people I DO know who I would give anything to, to be honest, let ALONE some stranger!

 

Also, I can't work out why people fall for the Nigerian scams.. I used to get a dozen a week in my inbox (before I discovered a spam filter LOL) and when I put an ad on a penpal site once, (about 4 or 5 years ago,) I got a dozen a day!  Do people actually BELIEVE these things?!  

 

And finally, the ultimate 'I can't believe they fell for that:' when someone wins £1.5 million in the Canadian Lottery or in a certain contest or whatever, and they NEVER ENTERED the Canadian lottery (or whatever contest it was they won in.)  Newsflash people: you can't WIN a contest that you never entered.  People get an email or letter saying they have won this money, and they need to wire like 5 grand or something to allow the transaction to go through, and it will be refunded with their 'win.'