That made me go all teary, Summer.

They ought to give that poem to every single person who works with the eldery.

Very moving and very true Summer.

That moved me to tears. 

When my Mum was in her early 70`s she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The nurses and Doctors were wonderful but it came to me that they were only seeing her as the ill, frail woman that she was at that time. I wanted them to see her as she used to be, know more about her. I brought photos of her throughout her lifetime and a bit of her history. Mother of four, wonderful friend to many, Dux of her school, May Queen of her city, shown on Pathe news at the cinema, how beautiful she was inside and out. I`ll never forget their emotional reactions. Mum didn`t say anything but the look she gave me was filled with pride as if to say, thank you my daughter. The consultant said it was the first time he`d known anyone do that...it created a bond between the patient and the staff. I now know that`s it`s actively encouraged in that particular hospital. 

Thank you Sweet. xx

xxxx

Sorry I haven`t replied Sweet. I will do later...just got a visitor. x

Slinki x

Bye for now    

 I think a copy of that poem should be pinned up in every  hospital ward.... very poignant  Sweet.... and so true

Made me... my own dad died suddenly of a heart attack in front of me he was only 66, 28 years ago.My mum died of heart problems due  to her diabetes etc and after several strokes she was 73 ,that was 16 years ago,At least they were both at home and not lingering away in some hospital.I don't really know if a sudden death is preferable to a long drawn out one.The heartache for those left I  suspect is the same.

I always remember my mum when she was in hospital a good few years before she died, was pissed off with the nurses,her name was Elizabeth but being a Glasgae granny she was known as Betty all her life,the staff insisted on calling her Elizabeth,she wasn't amused at all as in..."Aye see hur ,she'll will nae call me Betty!"har!

So poignant .

Katty my dads name was John but since he was a little boy he was known as Jack,like your mum he wasn't impressed when nursing staff or doctors called him John,he used to make a motion with his head sand say *I'm getting my full title then*,not a happy man .

I can understand they need the correct full name for medical/drug records etc,but you would think they would ask what they want  to be  known as in general convo etc.

This is a great poem but it has been about for years. I first came across it in 1982 as a student nurse - only it is traditionally known as the Crabbit Old Woman and it was actually addressed to nurses

What do you see, what do you see? 
Are you thinking, when you look at me- 
A crabbit old woman, not very wise, 
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes, 
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply 
When you say in a loud voice, 
I do wish you'd try. 
Who seems not to notice the things that you do 
And forever is loosing a stocking or shoe. 
Who, unresisting or not; lets you do as you will 
With bathing and feeding the long day is fill. 
Is that what you're thinking, 
Is that what you see? 
Then open your eyes, 
nurse, you're looking at me. 
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still! 
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will. 
I'm a small child of 10 with a father and mother, 
Brothers and sisters, who loved one another- 
A young girl of 16 with wings on her feet, 
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet, 
A bride soon at 20- my heart gives a leap, 
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep. 
At 25 now I have young of my own 
Who need me to build a secure happy home; 
A woman of 30, my young now grow fast, 
Bound to each other with ties that should last; 
At 40, my young sons have grown and are gone, 
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn; 
At 50 once more babies play around my knee, 
Again we know children, my loved one and me. 
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead, 
I look at the future, I shudder with dread, 
For my young are all rearing young of their own. 
And I think of the years and the love that I've known; 
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel- 
Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool. 
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart, 
There is now a stone where I once had a heart, 
But inside this old carcass, a young girl still dwells, 
And now and again my battered heart swells, 
I remember the joy, I remember the pain, 
And I'm loving and living life over again. 
I think of the years all too few- gone too fast. 
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last- 
So open your eyes, nurse, open and see, 
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer- 
See Me.

By: Phyilis McCormack

It is a wonderful piece of writing - and applies to any older person.

That's lovely.  Mr Cinds Mother died last year in the awful last grips of Alzheimers and she was in a nursing home.  We have some lovely memories from those last months, not just of her, but the other residents too, who were all suffering from some sort of dementia.

Over those months, the other residents became part of our family too, we got concerned if one wasn't in the TV room when we visited or seemed a bit more confused than the day before.  Even more so for those that you never saw anyone visit.  Often we would leave all teary but laughing saying 'you have to laugh otherwise it's just too heartbreaking'.

My favourite memories are when Mr Cinds Mother saw her little boy sitting in front of her and must have seen something on his face and gave him the 'thumb lick face wash' (remember those?), he just sat there and let her do it.  But now, if I ever go to wipe something off his face, he always has a little smile and tells me off for not licking my thumb first. 

But my favourite one was Christmas Eve 2010, and we were sat in the TV room with his Mum, many of the other residents around us, and Master Cinds was there.  Opposite where we were sitting, an elderly gentlemen (who was always a bit fruity asking for cuddles and kisses) was sat next to a lady who was fidgeting under her knee blanket.  He turned to her and said 'What you doing under that blanket?'... 'Nothing she replied', split second reply he said 'OH I thought you were hiding your vagina'.  I don't know whether we laughed more at the comment, or the look on  Master Cinds face to someone saying vagina out loud. 

Anyway, I rambled, sorry.  That was a lovely poem. 

Kattymeiow, my dad died suddenly of a heart attack too, it's a shocking, devastating thing to experience I do think that for the person who passes, it's kinda nice- My dad died at home with my mum right by his side, and didn't have to get old, sick and suffer long term. My poor mum has never quite recovered but we're both happy that he didn't suffer

Mr C's dad died suddenly from a massive coronary  Sweet,my husband and all his family understandably were devastated.Seeing how my lovely dad passed,he had cancer,he said given the choice he would choose how his dad passed rather than how we saw my dad suffer and literally fade away day to day .

Eileen, I have no idea where the poem originates from, I just heard it yesterday and wanted to share it. I googled it and that's what I found..

Aww SP - that's not why I did it.

I was just saying that it had been around forever - I am glad it is doing it's rounds again and really glad that you have posted it. It deserves to be out there and the great thing about FB is that it will stay around for a while,

Kattymeiow, my dad died suddenly of a heart attack too, it's a shocking, devastating thing to experience I do think that for the person who passes, it's kinda nice- My dad died at home with my mum right by his side, and didn't have to get old, sick and suffer long term. My poor mum has never quite recovered but we're both happy that he didn't suffer

Oh indeed it is,I thought I  was coping etc being brave.He died on Valentines day (I hate it now) I was fine up until May that year then I took a major panic attack in the street,well that was me,fooked up for the next year,off work etc seeing a shrink.

It's time we as fragile beings can say and scream "I'm not coping!"

Aw Scotty! we'll done you, your mum must have been so proud! I hope she was well cared for and felt secure there too I work with the public of all ages and I do like to hear the old folks life stories, one was a dance teacher who now can barely walk, another is 92 and was a sailor.. There's so much more to them than the old body you see

Thanks, Sweet.   She was well cared for there, although I took her home as soon as they allowed, and my sister and I nursed her, to the end. She preferred being at home. 

Yes, it`s lovely to hear the old folk`s stories. They`re so interesting.