I have no issue with the Essex accent, but the whole the only way is essex and geordie shore and the other one I can't remember gets on my tits...  Bunch of vacuous pointless wannabes all of them.. What the HELL is the point of these bloody shows?  !!!  Amy seems OK, but come on, famous for what?!

It is not just the accent, it is the attitude, whether it be from Essex or not......shame that Amy's note of charm is a Vejazzle..... 

This is an invaluable guide......for those of you that are planning to venture into darkest depths of Essex .

A task not for the faint-hearted.




alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item

amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")

assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc

awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")

branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")

cort a panda - A rather large hamburger

Dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff")

eye-eels - Women's shoes

Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre

garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")

Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island

lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")

OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs

paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport

reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")

Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's popular soap opera, Eastenders, go on holiday

tan - The city of London , the big smoke

webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")

wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")

Brilliant Erin 

 Ibeefa makes me laugh

MFG that was fookin funny!  FANKS Erin! 

ANd alma chizzit!    reband.  Garij.  cort-a-panda

assband ! 

Who all read them out loud?  

I know! 

 

Gorra go to bed nah!  Tra everyone. 

I am from Essex..but i can assure you we are not all like that..well for a start i am 57..so i am too old to be an Essex girl lol..buttt..i am proud to be an Essex Lady and i have been for the past 47 years .

 

Serously though Essex really is a great place to live ....most peeps are totally normal here

ME!

sparkles  

Tra hun! Sleep sand!

Aww bless you.    i think most people know that; it's just the ones on these programmes that I call pointless talentless wannabes: not ALL Essex folk.    I have a penpal and a second cousin in Essex and theyre not like that.  Nighty night

I so did! I'm totally dan wiv me Essex nah Slinks  

Good, innit, Essixish? 

 Hysterical erin .....even funnier is that I have heard it out of the mouths of "Babes"...

Aye...er, yeh, innit 

I haven't got a problem with the Essex bashing... its not like we're not used to it.   BUT...  be warned..    if its ok to have a pop at us in Essex..  & our accents...  then I will take that as fair game to do the same to you & your regional stereotypes. 

We've been doing that for the last few years No-one has been safe! Everyone has been sternly dealt with be they dim Lancastrians and their moral turpitude, southerners possessing all the money and no taste, or north-easterners with their superior looks, intelligence, and attitude.

 

well... I'm an Essex import..   so I tend to tap into my northern roots or declare my Essexness depending on which will benefit me more at that time! 

 

 

I may add..   that in a household of born & bred southerners..   I am the butt of "ecky thump" "wippets & pigeon keeping"  & general northern bashing jokes on a daily basis 

 

 

It feels a bit odd to be defending essex 

My niece has changed since she moved to Essex :shakesheadsniley And GJ, whilst you are here given the tourist choice of Frankfurt or Cologne which do you recommend?

Oh, how I wish the first bit of that was true (and the second bit wasn't!!)

cologne is prettier , croc.

Sorry! I've been out on a few messages. Frankfurt is great for the views off the tops of the buildings, no wonder it's referred to as Main-hatten. But that's it IMO.

 I absolutely love Col-og-nuh. The Cathedral is magnificent, lots  of cheap places to eat on the railway  station, the Beer Factory, the river, and don't forget to take a padlock to attach to the Hohenzollern bridge. (It's how people profess their undying love)

oh even I know what that is but only because of the Goodies

 

shit & I thought us Aussies were hard to understand sometimes

 

my favourite British accent so far is the combine harvester one. I wouldn't have a clue where they are from but I just love it

Thanks Joe..,,it's for my so and his mates who are going to go interrailing next year. Starting at Amsterdam but they couldn't make up their minds where to spend their last 3 days. I shall tell them Cologne (which I've only seen from a train..,,at night!) And I also say garrij..,,,anyone saying gararrrge is a pretentious knob. Garrij is coorect.

I spent several years interailing as a wagen vagabond. Fab days! May I also recommend Hamburg? Excellent nightlife (it's not all about the Reeperbahn) Fabulous fair, lot's of interesting churches, museums, and my personal favourite, hiring canoes and paddling around the canals.

I'll let him know to consider pylutting it on their itinerary.

cant stand the essex thing, bobby is spot on about her & kerry

What bugs me more than anything is those who fake an accent cos they think it is cool!! Fake Essex, fake american (Jedward and Tara!!) and I especially hate the fake gansta/chav accent that kids seem to love....embrace your own accent and be proud! Still...if I could pick my accent I would have a lovely Welsh lilt or an American Deep South drawl....but as I can't, I shall stick with my Cambridge with a strong hint of Suffolk!