Originally Posted by Pengy:
One Saturday before a bank holiday I went to Sainsbury's to buy frozen peas (at that time that was the only veg I ate) being 5 foot tall with short arms and legs I find those really deep and wide freezers a bit disconcerting. Anyhoo I spied my prize of frozen peas right at the back of this freezer - one packet left. I couldn't reach them so hit on the idea that if I leant on the side of the freezer and rocked up and down I could just about reach the peas.
I over rocked on a downward motion and fell in and then had to be rescued by one of the assistants I haven't been back to that particular branch again but I got my peas
true story
a hitman that went by the name of arthur-or arty for short-was hired to kill this fellas wife-the husband didnt trust him so gave him ÂĢ1.00 and said the rest would follow after he killed the wife
arty followed the wife, she went shopping at sainsburys-he decided to to strangle her-so he crept up behind her in the freezer aisle and went for her-but an assistant spotted him-so he grabbed the assistant-strangled him and threw his body in the freezer-arty turns round and realises a customer has seen him-so he throttles her and chucks her in the freezer aswell-the intended victim has realised whats happening and goes to yell for help-but arty swiftly strangles her!
the headlines in the paper the next day
*ARTY CHOKES 3 FOR A POUND AT SAINSBURYS*
this is not a true story