I think us mums do feel guilty, but we dont need to be told off!! Your daughter will adapt...what do teachers do with their kids then ?? You should feel proud you are working and supporting the family, try to rise above it. If the childminder isnt doing her job properly change her 

Awww Jubedoo I know you feel bad, but I totally agree with Skylark.....  most working mums feel guilty at times and I am sure your daughter will get used to it .  

Do you know for sure that the childminder has been gossiping at the school gate Juju?

I know when mine were in school that teachers would say stuff as you picked them up with all the other mums standing around earholing the conversation. They may have just overheard and are making busy

Best to ask her calmly first before flying off the handle with her and having to place your kids elsewhere which will upset your daughter even more.

Does your school not offer a breakfast club? My mate works but her kiddie goes to breakfast club from 8am and then is picked up by the after school club who keep him until 6 if need be although she picks him up as soon as she finishes work at just gone 5.

Yes i agree to a point Veggie....but maybe if the teacher had been a bit more sensitive, and spoke privately to the childminder nosey folk wouldnt give an opinion. Playground gossips ....
Hope you have calmed down a bit Ju 

It can be a big problem mixing business with friendship but most of us with kids did it at one time or another.

If she doesn't need the money why is she annoyed if you are late paying her? Perhaps she has money problems and doesn't want to admit it.

Any chance of an after school club in your area?

Jujubedoo, it could be anyone who said something, maybe even other children in the class who saw your daughter crying and told their mums? Maybe they were genuinely concerned that she'd been upset and thought you needed to know?

If she's suddenly upset now after you've been back at work for a year, maybe it was something else that upset her and just for that moment she wanted her Mum, (like many of us do, even as adults, even when they're long gone!)

Tbh, if I were you I'd try my best to forget about the school gate chatter, well intentioned or otherwise and just try to get the bottom of why she was upset and try to resolve that as far as possible

I totally agree Skylark but so many teachers seem to do this without thinking

Dont they just! Its so hard for working mothers, damned it you do and damned if you dont x

But how does anyone know that's what happened

Ju said in her post, teacher said to childminder and 3 different people said to her....or i have misunderstood ...     x

She didn't say that the teacher said it in front of others though  And I thought that JuJu was assuming the childminder had told the other mum's? Like I said, it could even have been other children in the class who said something to their parents?

Yes of course, too much gossips, and Ju feeling guilty , not a good combo 

Yes of course, too much gossips, and Ju feeling guilty , not a good combo 

Absolutely, but honestly, if the little girl is not usually at all bothered about her mum being at work, then I think the priority must be to find out what she was really upset about for her to say what she did.

JuJu, if you do that, you never know, you may find out that it's absolutely nothing at all to do with you being at work, maybe she's not happy with something at the childminders or, well, could be anything really and just for that moment she wanted her mum?

You're not silly Jujubedoo, but I am glad you feel better about it now... 

gawd...    people (the people at Jube's school....   not people here)..  just love to get in on the action don't they.

its like they're all "ooooh...   I want to be the one to tell Jube that her daughter was upset"

I wouldn't be surprised if your girl had been upset about something, and it was suggested to her that she was missing you.... 

Jubes...  she probably does miss you..   but she'd have missed you during the day at school whether you were picking her up or the childminder.

I worked when mine were little...    I remember the guilt.    they always missed me when they didn't want to go to creche/childminders/my parents...     then when I didn't work, they would  miss their mates/myparents/even their dad (really scraping the barrel ) when they had the hump with me.

FWIW...  my opinion is...    if you have to work, you have to work...   I worked when they were little, and have stayed at home with them since the eldest went up to secondary..     they were outgrowing the childcare arrangements (my parents)...    the lack of continuity was then starting to affect all sorts of things.   I had thought initially that working would get easier as they got older, I now think the opposite... its easier when they are younger.

Jubes...   the whole time I haven't worked and have been at home, I have been wracked with guilt about not having the money to buy them stuff, do stuff with them, and for being the Mum who "doesn't have a job"

doesn't matter which way you do it...      there is always guilt!      

You love your kids...   you do your best....    that is all we can do xxxx

Well said Ditty xx

Glad you're feeling a bit better Juju and Supes is right that it may have been summat else upsetting her and people assumed that it was the working thing.

It's bliddy hard being a parent - even when they're in their twenties

 Mine are in their late 30s, and they still manage to push the guilt button every now and then!

Glad you're feeling better about it JuJu