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Originally Posted by stonks:

I would'nt say anything, I'd ask her what she thinks she should do..if she has'nt left him it means she loves him but just wants to have a moan to her mum..if you have a go at him he'll end up trying to turn your daughter against you..just let her talk....


thats what i think stonks

brothers not happy

but got go loads more info from my son

iv done asking its been going of 8 weeks now

 

T
Originally Posted by Tina:
Originally Posted by stonks:

I would'nt say anything, I'd ask her what she thinks she should do..if she has'nt left him it means she loves him but just wants to have a moan to her mum..if you have a go at him he'll end up trying to turn your daughter against you..just let her talk....


thats what i think stonks

brothers not happy

but got go loads more info from my son

iv done asking its been going of 8 weeks now

 

I remember being told after my wedding that my dad was against me going out with mr stonks, he thought he was too old for me, my mother told him to leave us too it and I've done the same with mine..though I did end up in A&E with my nephew cos his GF lamped him with her handbag and gave him a big lump on his head..I told him to warn her that noone hurts my babies and if it happened again she would know about it..I left it to him if he wanted to tell her this..he did and it never happened again..they are still together after 13 years and very happy....

stonks
Do they live together or is she still at home? My mum hated my boyfriends but never told me until after I dumped them! I wouldn't have liked it if she had interfered at the time, so I'm glad she didn't. One lasted 3 years and she couldn't stand him but I had no idea! You could possibly find a nice way of telling her that you're concerned about her happiness, this boy must be insecure if he doesn't trust her actions on Facebook, but with any luck she'll get sick of him anyway and give him the boot! Be very careful how you proceed because you risk pushing her away if you get too involved
~Sparkling Summer~
Originally Posted by ~Sweet Summer~:
Do they live together or is she still at home? My mum hated my boyfriends but never told me until after I dumped them! I wouldn't have liked it if she had interfered at the time, so I'm glad she didn't. One lasted 3 years and she couldn't stand him but I had no idea! You could possibly find a nice way of telling her that you're concerned about her happiness, this boy must be insecure if he doesn't trust her actions on Facebook, but with any luck she'll get sick of him anyway and give him the boot! Be very careful how you proceed because you risk pushing her away if you get too involved

right iv told her that i love her and im here if she wants me

i think im going to be like your mum summer

T

Sweets advice is good Tina. It's so hard when you see your kids going through stuff and you're powerless. Plus in the FB age we can all see facets of our kids lives that years ago we might not have known about. I would say keep an eye on it though as he sounds like a control freak and they are the ones likely to turn violent

Btw is this the daughter that went to a fancy dress as a butterfly or ladybird? If so I can't believe she's that old

FM

Oh dear. He is a controller. They are so insecure. I think he needs to be brought in to the family. 

Your daughter has to do all the decision making but needs your love and affection to fall back on. 

Maybe he needs just as much. Try to see the good in him. Look through her eyes.

Advise her only. He may turn out to be a good one.

James
Originally Posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:

I agree with all the "stand back, be there if she needs you" type advice..   I really really do!

 

 

But the reality for me would be that I would have to get hubby to tie me up & gag me to stop me going & ripping his head off & spitting down his neck!

 

 

Good luck Tina...   I really don't envy you this one 

Glad I'm not the only one who would do that

 

I'm dreading my son's future relationships but I'll be buying a roll of duct tape to shut me up when either of my sons complain about their GFs.

 

 

Tina.....I agree with all the stand back advice too (easier said than done I bet) but just let your daughter know your door is open 24/7 and she always has a place to stay if he gets too much for her.  Good luck.

Ells

Hmmm she's 22 so not a lot you can do really except be there for her. You can try to advise her, but when someone's involved with someone, especially with someone controlling and insecure, they don't hear what is obvious to everyone else or even themselves. Going round there and ripping his nuts off may make you feel better, but your daughter needs to realise what this guy is about for herself if he is type of fella that you think he is.

 

Saying that though, you're only seeing one side of the story, you don't know what else may have been said or is going on in their relationship for him to be suspicious to make him have those issues. If she was 15 or 16 I'd say by all means get involved, but at 22 I think you need to step aside and quietly observe.

Karma_
Originally Posted by Karma_:

Hmmm she's 22 so not a lot you can do really except be there for her. You can try to advise her, but when someone's involved with someone, especially with someone controlling and insecure, they don't hear what is obvious to everyone else or even themselves. Going round there and ripping his nuts off may make you feel better, but your daughter needs to realise what this guy is about for herself if he is type of fella that you think he is.

 

Saying that though, you're only seeing one side of the story, you don't know what else may have been said or is going on in their relationship for him to be suspicious to make him have those issues. If she was 15 or 16 I'd say by all means get involved, but at 22 I think you need to step aside and quietly observe.

Agree.

suzybean
Originally Posted by Karma_:

Hmmm she's 22 so not a lot you can do really except be there for her. You can try to advise her, but when someone's involved with someone, especially with someone controlling and insecure, they don't hear what is obvious to everyone else or even themselves. Going round there and ripping his nuts off may make you feel better, but your daughter needs to realise what this guy is about for herself if he is type of fella that you think he is.

 

Saying that though, you're only seeing one side of the story, you don't know what else may have been said or is going on in their relationship for him to be suspicious to make him have those issues. If she was 15 or 16 I'd say by all means get involved, but at 22 I think you need to step aside and quietly observe.

agreed

Kaytee
Originally Posted by Veggieburger:

Sweets advice is good Tina. It's so hard when you see your kids going through stuff and you're powerless. Plus in the FB age we can all see facets of our kids lives that years ago we might not have known about. I would say keep an eye on it though as he sounds like a control freak and they are the ones likely to turn violent

Btw is this the daughter that went to a fancy dress as a butterfly or ladybird? If so I can't believe she's that old

yes veggie it is the same daughter i only have 2 girls gemma/22  olivia/4

T
Originally Posted by James:

Oh dear. He is a controller. They are so insecure. I think he needs to be brought in to the family. 

Your daughter has to do all the decision making but needs your love and affection to fall back on. 

Maybe he needs just as much. Try to see the good in him. Look through her eyes.

Advise her only. He may turn out to be a good one.

hes here a lot james hes lovely with us

i just didnt know what to do

he does love her loads i know that much you can just see it when there together

gemma did tell me that hes scared she will cheat


 

T
Originally Posted by Karma_:

Hmmm she's 22 so not a lot you can do really except be there for her. You can try to advise her, but when someone's involved with someone, especially with someone controlling and insecure, they don't hear what is obvious to everyone else or even themselves. Going round there and ripping his nuts off may make you feel better, but your daughter needs to realise what this guy is about for herself if he is type of fella that you think he is.

 

Saying that though, you're only seeing one side of the story, you don't know what else may have been said or is going on in their relationship for him to be suspicious to make him have those issues. If she was 15 or 16 I'd say by all means get involved, but at 22 I think you need to step aside and quietly observe.

i agree Karma

young love eh 

T

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