When my brother was very young he told my mother that he had seen something which was:

"Square and black with a hole in the middle - just like an apple" 

We never found out what it was.

When I was a kid I used to wonder why people kept going to Point Blank Range.  Everytime I heard on the news that someone got shot at 'Point Blank Range' I would sigh and say well they know it's a bad bad place.  My mother asked me one day what I meant and I told her I thought these people who went to Point Blank Range knew it was a dangerous place where people got killed so why did they always go there.  She then told me it actually meant shot close up and it wasn't an actual place.  I felt a wee bit silly.

When my son was small he came across a bit of cat poo in the garden - there was a fly on it.

He came running in to me shouting 'Mum come and see this fly that's done an enormous poo'.

Haha Soozy I knew the ending of your post before I read it   Kids are the funniest people, innocently dropping clangers everywhere

I like it, I like it all!

My youngest boy came out of school once marvelling about the new girl in his class & how she could look in two directions at the same time - thought she was dead dead clever! 
He wasn't aware the girl in question had a glass eye - bless her!

hahahaha!

there was an obvious one by my daughter, aged 12...    struggling with her history homework, she came to us for help...    the first thing we needed to clear up was that a civil war did not mean a war where both sides were polite as they massacred each other.  (we couldn't help laughing..  it resulted in a teary stomp and door slam from the girl)!

One of my daughter's friends came up with a whole FB page full of her silly expressions and ponderings. She has come up with some classics- for example....

teacher " what was arguably the greatest thing for older people in the 20th century ( meaning pensions etc).

My daughter's suggestion?

Supermarkets..

My grandson (aged 9) was installing something on my computer - he said, when it was done 'right that's been insulted now'. Awwwwww bless - he is dyslexic.

  Love them all!

My old Nan comes out with them...my favourite being 'the M25 was dread locked'

My Mum once referred to a shop that apparently was selling naughty products as "that awful shop where they are selling agitators"

I wish i'd written all the things my mum says down.

1. She used to have some Indian neighbours who were lovely. After a visit to India they bought her back some sweets which she really hated - she didn't want to put them in her own dustbin so 'she was very indiscreet and took them to her friend over the road' to put into her bin. (i had visions of her running over the road yelling out yaaaaaaaay look at me)

2. She bought my niece (her great grand daughter) some little ballet type slippers for Christmas with pom poms on them. She told me she's bought Jessica some slippers with poppadoms on the top 

My Stars Wars obsessed son once asked very loudly in a lift if the lady opposite us in a burqa was Darth Vader's wife. My nephew, when he was about 6 said to my Dad..."Grandpa, it must have been such a shock for you going from black and white to techniclolour".

My daughter asked me in a queue in Thorpe Park in front of 2 young blokes ahead if us ....
"Mummy what's a cleavage?"

That all went wrong..

I meant to press edit instead so I could get rid of the crying smiley  but I posted instead and now I have posted twice....

Ahhh the wine

It is a confusing term though! Friendly fire was the one that got me when I was little... I couldn't understand how it was friendly

Couple of care students at the place I work were talking about a client whose mobility was deteriorating- one of them said " she only gets  8 hours a day support just now, but she'll soon need 25 hours a day " .. and the other one agreed

When I was about seven the little boy round the corner (aged about 5) wanted me to be his girlfriend - he used to tell me 'I'm gonna buy you a chocla bocklas'

My children went to visit their dad in the winter of 1985/86 in Spain. It was very, very cold and they had to stay for 6 weeks because of the weather. After a couple of weeks, I had a letter from my daughter who was then 8 years old. Amongst other things, she was raving about the 'vouchers' flying around in the hills. What she meant where 'vultures'. I've still got the letter. It's better then baby pictures.

lmao

My niece thought the guy who played the piano at her ballet class was called Mr. Penis 

My son thought the local village Bobby who visited the school from time to time was Policey Watson (instead of PC Watson)

LOL

They were all on their way to Notting Hill carnival