Skip to main content

Replies sorted oldest to newest

it definitely depends on the child, on the child they are minding, on the time of day etc.   Also on the instructions & contingency plans in place should something go wrong.

I can't remember the first time I left my daughter in charge of her brother...   she'll have been about 13 I reckon, so he would have been 8.   It started with me leaving for just half an hour to pop to the shops, always making sure her mobile was topped up and charged, and she knew I had my mobile on.    In the event of me not returning by a certain time she was under instructions to phone my parents.

Oh & the home alone mantra...   "nobody in, nobody out, no cooking" 

The boy is 13 now...  & I have no problem leaving him home alone for an hour or two.

One of the many issues I have had with the ex when he has had the kids for the weekend was the "leaving them".    I was horrified to discover that he was popping over the road to the shop when my boy was a baby, sometimes when my daughter was there (aged 5), which was how I found out he did it (he later admitted that he would pop to the shop when my son was asleep in the cot and my daughter wasn't there).   He didn't get it that yeah, he would only be gone ten mins...   but what would happen if he got run over by a car or something...  (and thats not that unlikely to happen...  he had already been run over twice...  fecking surviving both times!!).

I think having someone the child knows they can call for back up if needed is the key really.
Dirtyprettygirlthing
I agree with NSPCC: generally16, (depending on maturity etc. etc.) Loads of younger children can help out/change nappies etc. etc. but a lot of them would not know what to do/cope if suddenly something terrible happened like the child suddenly started to choke, there was a fire etc. etc.
I used to babysit when I was 14 and heaven knows what I would have done in the above circumstances...The assumption was that the kids would go to sleep and all would be fine..but what if something had happened?
FM
I started leaving my daughter in on her own for short periods of time during the day or very early evening when she was about 10 or 11, with the usual strict instructions to never answer the door or phone, and to ring me immediately if she was worried. But I would never have considered leaving her in charge of a younger child until she was at least 16, and I can't imagine the circumstances when I would have left her in the care of a teenager when she was little.
FM
Reference:
Your daughter's, or the ex's
daughters unfortunately!!!   

Whilst he was looking after my kids I had 2 other trips to A&E with head wounds... both my son.  Once he left him (aged 3) on a MacDonalds tall stool unsupervised whilst he went & got straws & napkins...  Alf fell off!    The other time, he thought it was a good idea for him & Alf (aged 3 again) to bounce on MY sofa to Kylies "Spinning Around"..  son bounced right off into the coffee table!

I tell ya Blizzie...   Its a wonder how I managed to keep my temper when I was faced with the judgemental cow at the solicitors who had prejudged my withholding contact as me using my kids as weapons!    

After 3 hours of me listing the long long list of things that happen to the kids whilst under his care (including him drink driving with them in the car),  her attitude did change, and they turned down his application for legal aid.
Dirtyprettygirlthing
Reference: Ditty
After 3 hours of me listing the long long list of things that happen to the kids whilst under his care (including him drink driving with them in the car),  her attitude did change, and they turned down his application for legal aid.
 Blimey!

Maybe 14 year olds are safer than some adults.
At least they aren't driving, or drinking.
Well, most of them, anyway! 
Blizz'ard
Bliz: I think it's ridiculous and I do wonder whether it would have been reported, if it had been a 14 year old girl left in charge.

You may have a point there Bliz, thing is, it's more complex than age alone it's about a whole host of other factors re being able to cope with emergencies, competency in looking after children etc. etc. Most cases like this, regardless of whether it is a male or female child would, of course, get nowhere near the police being interested, unless something had actually happened, so this one does seem a bit strange in that respect, and if the reporting is accurate and the 14yr old lad didn't for e.g. have learning disabilities or his brother special care needs etc.....If none of those things applied then I think the police's time could have been much better utilised elsewhere!
FM
Reference: Supes
You may have a point there Bliz, thing is, it's more complex than age alone it's about a whole host of other factors re being able to cope with emergencies, competency in looking after children etc. etc. Most cases like this, regardless of whether it is a male or female child would, of course, get nowhere near the police being interested, unless something had actually happened, so this one does seem a bit strange in that respect, and if the reporting is accurate and the 14yr old lad didn't for e.g. have learning disabilities or his brother special care needs etc.....If none of those things applied then I think the police's time could have been much better utilised elsewhere!

Agreed.

I think most parents would take competency and such into account. I, for example, would not leave certain of my kids in charge of certain others, as they didn't have a good relationship and I knew that they would end up in fights and arguments.
I knew I could leave 1 with 3, and 2 with 3, but never 1 with 2 and 4 can't be left with anyone!

(apart from his grandparents, who think he's an angel!    

 
Reference: Supes
Well, that's definitely true.....However, hangs head in shame and admits to sometimes helping myself to a wee drink or two when I was a teenage babysitter
 I think I used to mostly concentrate on emptying the fridge.

I may have tried a little drink and used some used fag butts to roll some cigarettes, but I would never admit that on here! 
Blizz'ard
It depends on the child as some have already said.  I don't think 14 is too young to be looking after a 3 year old though.  Just occasional babysitting that is............. Not full time caring!

What I do take great exception to though, (and what happens/has happened, in quite a number of families I know/have known: )  is women having loads of kids, and not being arsed to look after them herself, and the older ones (11 to 15,) end up not only looking after the younger ones, but doing laundry, shopping, cooking and housework and all sorts. 

There was a story on the news tonight about a lad that got some 'paperboy award' for delivering the papers every day, and looking after his eight siblings; ie: getting breakfast for them, dressing them and doing lunchboxes and helping them get dressed.  Excuse me, but isn't that the mother's/parent's job?    Why was he doing all that? 


Don't have kids, if you can't be arsed to look after them yourself, and you have to depend/rely on your older children to do your job!  Children should be children and should be children, and enjoy their childhood; not be 'parents' at 11/12 years old.  I know it's useful for children to learn 'life skills,' but not for the mother to keep pushing out one kid after another, when she isn't capable of looking after them all, and the older children end up being parents! 
FM
Last edited by Former Member
Reference:
I was the fifth, but my eldest brother was just six when I was born, so we were all very close (in age). Mum was 'pushing' us out at quite a rate.

There were actually 6 of us but my little sister died when she was a baby,I'm 9 yrs older than one of my younger brothers  and 13 yrs older than the other but the 3 eldest(including me) all came along within 3 yrs and 3 months,whole lotta pushing going on.
~Lee~
When I used to work in the local shop we used to have a young girl of 5 come in for her families weekly allowance of milk, 7 pints to carry home on her own, very often in the dark & very often in bare feet, (they weren't just round the corner either), had to be said - I told her to tell her Mum she was not allowed in the shop anymore without shoes & that if she had a problem to come see me! Utterly disgraceful imo! (mother did come & words were exchanged) Little girl only came for her sweets from then on, after school! A dear little soul she was.
I have 5 & yes they entertained each other, but would never expect them to do a parents job!
slimfern

Add Reply

×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×
×