Wait till his wife upsets him (she will) and he comes running to you to tell you all about it (he wants his mum) then ask him 'Do I know you? Ah yes... you were my son once'. Sounds fair to me 

i miss him 

Don't text him then, phone him and tell him how you feel 

tried phoning ......... she answers .... i want to speak to ma son 

It is a tough time for a mother of a son when he gets married..

I am probably not going to be much help but I am sure some of the lovely ladies who are mothers to married sons will be.
Do you get on well with your daughter in law?

  Dont text or phone if you have had a few.Not a good idea ,you will regret it in the morning.

i do get on with my D-IN -LAW , but i would like some time to talk to my son on his own , i miss him

Do nothing tonight hon cos you will regret it tomorrow.
BUT tomorrow just send him a text jokingly saying "hello remember me? "

Words that were given to eldest brother years ago when he was the first to leave home...

Mum: "Give us a ring anytime you need any help"

Dad: "Don't call or come round unless you have come into money"

I would say just hang in there and give it time Auntie Fester.... if you have had a close relationship with your son, then I am sure you will get it back again My son and I had a really rocky time when I got divorced, and it was very hard at times...... many a tear got shed...... but now we have a great relationship..... Just try and be patient.....

aww baz thanx   i have hope now , we never fell out .. he just moved on

The other thing is of course, they are newly weds....


wink wink..

aye issy i know lol      i'm getting a wee grandaughter soon lol

Awwww that's lovely Auntie Fester....

yeehaaaaaaaah  yes baz   i'm getting a grandaughter  but losing ma son 

Like Baz said, hang in there and wait for the call, it will come sooner or later. Mums are always the first to hear when they need something. lol

i feel kicked to the kerb   ............. awwww     we will see  

NOOOO you are not thinking out of the box here
I can guarantee you will see loads of them once that baby is born and also your boy may pop round to get some respite from nappies etc..

You see - all will be well xxx

Fester just give him time,he knows you'll always be there for him meantime let him and his wife  find their way in their new life....trying to force the issue may lead to problems imo,he may feel he is being put in a position where he has to choose,there is no choice to make,you're his mum, always will be,you both know that any road....Our relationships with our kids change,especially when they marry,atm you may be wondering where you fit into it all,thing is when the baby is born things will change again....Just sit tight,it will all fall into place,trust me it will.

lee and issy  . thanks for answering me  , but i will just be happy  when dad to be gets home from afghanistan

Fester put all your other concerns about him on the back burner until then eh,meantime just focus on your lovely new grandchild which will be here before you know it.You'll be so busy being a granny having less parental duties to your son will be a godsend.

One of the hardest things in life is letting go of your kids isn't it?  I was always extremely close to my son, but when he moved out 2 years ago I lost the closeness I had with him and I felt bereft!!  I really actually ached inside from it all. What I did was made a joke out of it sort of ... and would say to him "Ah you don't need your mum any more ..... but your mum needs you" keep it lighthearted. He told me recently "I love you mum and I don't tell you enough do I?" and gave me a hug   

He's moved back in with me now because of circumstances, but it still isn't like it used to be. It's taken me a long time to get used to this new level of closeness we now have ... it's a case of respecting his privacy and realising he's grown up and is not going to share everything with me, but at the same time he still loves me as much.

Auntie Fester, I would continue to keep the lines of communication open with your son - send him the occasional text (keep it lighthearted) and perhaps send him a letter, telling him you love him, how excited you are about becoming a grandmother and how happy you are for him.
He has a lot going on in his life ATM (Afghanistan, new wife and baby on the way) so he may not be deliberately shutting you out, he just has a lot going on.
If you were once close, you can be again.

I saw this woman get on the bus this morning with her too teenage sons...she sat on one seat and they sat on another seat away from her.  I thought oh no, is that what the future holds for me and my ickle cutey ickle princey boy

Don't worry Temps, mine are in their twenties and still go out in public with me, we even go out for lunch together.
The teenage years can be tricky though, as it is not cool (or whatever the current word is) to be a mummy's boy.
As I tell mine, like it or lump it, they'll always be my babies.

yes, you're embarrassing to them when they're teenagers - it's the law  He should grow out of it though

Not cool to be a mummy's boy?   what kind of crazy world are we living in?!  Do you mean when he's sixteen and I'm walking him to school holding his ickle handy I can't squish his cutie cheeks and snuggle him in tight before giving him a slobbery kiss and sending him through the gates?

heehee *goes all Pam from Gavin and Stacey *

No, you can't!

He'll put his foot down about all that carry on when he's 8!         Mine is 13 now...   and all hell breaks loose if I dare get out of the car to flag him down when I go pick him up from school... 

I think he thinks I should let him know I am there & waiting for him by the power of telepathy!

Ditty, when you drive him to see his mates, do you have to drop him off halfway down the street or round the corner?

How far are we allowed go with the embarrassing mummy act before they're allowed call Child Services?

I usually let Mr Ditty do it....    but yeah... its usually a case of park up, and if other kids are going round there we have to wait until someone else pulls up and then he jumps out of the car and is off.. without a backward glance.

The girl was never like that...  she still isn't....  she hugs me and kisses me in front of all her friends...  its the boy who is deeply ashamed of us

there can be consequences     We dared to wave at our son when he was in the primary school nativity play..     the following year he wouldn't let us look the stage.. if we did he would just stop acting and scowl at us... I spent an hour looking at the art work up on the wall! 

Then after that we were banned from ever going to watch his school plays!

Dirtyprettygirlthing Member

Today at 10:41

Can I share my experience of being a son who did something similar to this? When this happened in my life, I was just adjusting to being a grown-up with responsibilities and also finding out what my life in the wide world meant. It took me a few years, but now my mum is my best friend. If ever either of us needs something, we're straight on the phone to each other.

I doubt very much if your son has moved on anywhere. You're always going to be his mum. It may take what seems like a long time, but I'm sure you'll be close again. As others have said, try to keep the lines of communication open without putting on pressure. If he knows that you're still there for him and loving him but you're willing to allow him to find his own way, then I'm sure he will develop an adult relationship with you.

I'm so sorry it's causing you pain. One thing you can do is to come in here and let it all out. People will listen.

My boy was cast as one of Herod's men in his first nativity....   

he was happy with that

Good advice Peter....Speaking as a mum imo one of the biggest steps we have to take with our offspring is letting them go and handing over responsibility of their lives to them,I can't say it's easy,it's not,but we have to do it whilst letting them know we're here, if and when you need us we're here.

Dirtyprettygirlthing Member

Today at 10:56

I hear ya loud and clear Fester. My baby got married 2 years ago and is busy working and looking after my gorgeous DIL, grandson and grandson due in two weeks! I miss him loads, and it's hard to find a convenient time even to chat as often if I phone in the evening or at weekends he's with my grandson, bathing him or at the park etc.
Football is the one thing we totally have in common so we tend to communicate etc around that. We text eachother after games and he occasionally comes with me to footie which is lovely. We are not as close in a way as we used to be but the bond we have is still as strong - just different.
Is there an interest you have in common with him where you can share it for a couple of hours every so often? Like I say for us it's footie; even if it's just a quick text after a match it keeps the connection there