Sorry, anything less than 18 wouldn't be in my radar...

God only knows how they can balance the darts!  

I bet you look bloody gorgeous VD!

Tis the darts Scotty 

I'm a rough Bobby George slim 

   

Awww but don't all the girls love a bit of rough   -  HNY to you! 

Must say he must have a good strong right arm - lifting all that bling!

Happy New Year to you too slim 

Ye`ll always be a Bobby Dazzler tae me  

  

I used to have a fist full of sovereigns (both fists). And belcher chains. And a spiral perm. And an attitude. Guess which one has survived?

Did you have a clown pendant though?

I did! And a Nefertiti. And a hologram (but that was before the clown). I had a sovereign with an onyx centre and my initial in gold on top. I always wanted one of those 'MUM' rings but when it came to the crunch even I couldn't stoop to that level.

I must say I wasn't trying to look like a darts player's bird. They had soft bubble perms. Not spiral perms. Plus they wore Ratners and Elizabeth Duke jewellery and cubic zirconias instead of diamonds.

I have to say that even when all my mates had the sovereigns and that shit I somehow instictively knew the wrongness of it and never stooped to that level.

I have also from a very young age told my kids that if they ever buy me any jewellery that says 'mum' they are out on their ear!

I never had a perm either, just natural curls.....strange then that I should marry a bloke who, in his younger days, got mistaken for Eric Bristow and had kids shouting 'Oi, Eric!' at him more than once!

A girl I knew was so proud of her Ratners jewellery, she was covered in the stuff. One night up the West End she got robbed and the muggers gave it all back to her.

Gerald Ratner would be so proud!