A few topical (re-written) songs on our current housmates

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Duvet Rhapsody

Is this a romance?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a cuddle,
No escape from hypocrisy
Caught between lies, she's feeling my thighs to see
I'm just an Aussie, she sees some empathy,
Because I'm this and that, such a ****, Little moan, little spat,
Any side of her bed doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama I just fell for her,
Found myself with her in bed, wrapped in duvet, easily lead
Mama, she may be the one,
But now I've gone and thrown the game away
Brother, ooh, Didn't mean to break your door, held my head between my hands,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really happened
Too late, she's nobbled me,
Sends shivers down my spine, wrapped in duvet all the time
Goodbye, ev'erybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Brother, ooh, I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been here at all
I see a shadow of a broken man,
JJJ, JJJ, yes it does take 2 too tango
jealous but not fighting, very, much entrapping me
(She's a hussey) She's a hussey (She's a hussey) She's a hussey, She's a hussey figured out
Marioooooo...I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
Ben plays the B1tch boy from camp family,
Spare me this life from their pomposity
Easy come, easy go, will you let her go


B@llsh!tter! No, She will not let you go
(Let her go!) B@llsh!tter! She will not let you go
(Let her go!) B@llsh!tter! She will not let you go
(Let her go) She will not let you go
(Let her go) She will not let you go (Let her go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Moner David, Moner David) Moner David smuggly knows
Beelze B is she really playing games with me, with Tree, Takes Pee
So you think you can cuddle then get on with my friends
So you think you dump me with no consequence?
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here
Josie really matters, only fools can't see ,
Josie really matters,
Josie really matters to Me
Any way the Duvet


Don’t flatter yourself - Dave the Dickensian Mix

Don’t flatter yourself in there.
Don’t flatter yourself, nobody g!ves a sh!t.
Your biblical con, so wrong
Your slosh ,dosh, mugging the public off
Don’t flatter yourself , you’re fake
Don’t flatter yourself , hiding behind a robe
It isn’t as if we care
What cheek, speak, takin his name in vain!

Given the chance to rid
We will bid you out the door
What a bleed!n bore you g!t?
Think of the glory Dave when we wave out the house
Please bog off you hypocrite!

Don’t flatter yourself just luck.
We don’t give a flying f@ck,
For after some consideration, we can state...
Don’t flatter yourself , you’re a pr!ck!



Loafer on the Sofa - Does Steve do owt mix

It was on the show Big Brother
A show just like no other
The figurehead who layed his head
who didn't really bother

The Baron was his knickname
His contrinbution real lame
He hardly ever moves about
Just one place to another.

Chorus
Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
'cause there's f@ck all else he does


The Baron's name was Steve O
we should give him the heave ho
He sits all day in misery
he brings nowt to the show

Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
'cause there's f@ck all else he does

His opposition floundered
The weak were meekly rounded
his challengers shoved out the door
It leaves us al confounded

Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
Loafer on the Sofa
'cause there's f@ck all else he does

a couple more

I'M IN THE MOOD FOR DUVET

I'm in the mood for duvet', more foreplay'
Cos my ubby might walk tonight
I'm in the mood for strokin', chicken chokin'
Ooh so come on and hold me tight

Duvet', I'm all wrapped up, babe
It's so a groundhog day
Ooh I'm no choosy', get in my Duvet
So snuggle up cos your my prey

I'm in the mood for duvet', more foreplay'
You know I shan't ever stop tonight
I'm in the mood for strokin', chicken chokin'
Lets sit here and munch, in bed with our lunch
It might be a hunch, the best of bad bunch

So heel, get down and heel, come on and kneel
Kneel, it's how I feel, come cop a feeel.

do pee do pe doo doo pee do pe


He's gone now but

Adam and The Ants - I CAN'T STAND LIVER Ben version

I'm the dandy housmate who you're too scared to mention
I spend my cash on looking flash, admiring my reflection
the devil take your washing up and stuff the house rejection!
the way I talk and tasks I baulk just seeking more attention!

I cant stand liver, I like an easy life!
I dont deliver, I just cause the house more strife

He's the dandy housmate that so often gets a bashing
the bouffant hair, the sneery stare that set our teeth a knashing
so what's the point of snobbery, or is it mickey taking?
it's kind of tough to tell a toff to stop the bellyaching

He cant stand liver, he likes an easy life!
He wont deliver, just cause the house more strife