It still feels good Saz 

I sympathise with you Sheryl. Really can't stand people like this, it sounds like she is deliberately throwing her weight around knowing it will make you uncomfortable.
I've worked with women like this before....most of the time in the past I've just tried to ignore them, knowing that they probably have quite a sad life to get kicks out of intimidating and being patronising.

She might be looking for a reaction from you, so I'd say the best thing to do is to smile sweetly, keep the words short, and get on with your work when she gets up from her desk.
It's very difficult I know, but it will probably have more of an effect on her than you might realise.

Thanks Katerina. This is what I have been trying to do today, but it has been very difficult. Have the women that you have experienced this with in the past backed off when you haven't given them the reaction that they were looking for? It's got to the point where I feel uncomfortable, nervous and edgy everytime I go into work. Makes the journey in every morning such a drag...this has happened to me in previous jobs so it's obviously an indication that I need to do something about my extreme lack of self confidence/self esteem. It must be so obvious that people are picking up on it wherever I go and taking advantage

They will usually direct their behaviour at someone else if they don't get enough satisfaction out of belittling you I would think.......but having said that, the worst experience I had ended in me handing my notice in, but I was quite young and didn't have much confidence and self-esteem, I would deal with it differently now.

It takes guts, but you are better than her Sheryl, remember that. it's not necessarily you......there are a lot of people like this around. If there's another member of staff that feels the same and there's no danger of her betraying your confidence, have a good old bitch about her together, that will help.

the other thing is.... that the rest of the office probably do know what she's like... but don't want to be the ones to stick their necks out for fear she will turn on them.

I remember temping when I was quite young, some places the girls would be really lovely...  most places they were indifferent (no point making an effort with the temp)... and then there were the ones where there was this kind of carry on.

If she is being deliberately intimidating and patronising, then I don't think anyone else in the office has noticed. I get the impression that everyone in the office sees her as funny and slightly dippy. I haven't seen any of my other colleagues acting awkwardly towards her, so maybe it is all in my head. She didn't say a word to me today, but still made a point of looking around at me everytime she got up, or when I was talking to someone else. It's becoming very unnerving

I'd just tell her 'Look - I'm perfectly fine thank you but ..........I really don't like you coming up telling me I'm sad, tired etc. everyday. I'm OK - if I'm not you'll be the first to know so - thank you for your concern but it really isn't needed'.

How is your colleague taking advantage Sheryl?

Lee I feel that she has spotted my insecurities, nerves, lack of confidence and self esteem and is using it to intimidate me and make me feel even more uncomfortable than I already do. I have seen how she behaves with other women in the office who have a stronger personality than me, and it is completely different. She treats them as if they are on her level, but with me it feels that in every social interaction we have, she is waiting for me to say/do the wrong thing.

Sheryl I understand that's how you're feeling but that may not be the case with her at all....Your own insecurities are your worst enemy atm,if you can't overcome it alone perhaps counselling would be an option worth looking into with a view to overcoming it or learning better how to deal with it in a more positive manner....One thing I had instilled in me growing up and something I also instilled in my own children is this,I'm no better than anyone else,and nobody else is better than me....Good luck 

I think that's a great post from Lee , Sheryl.. and it applies equally to your other thread

Thanks Lee, you are so right, I do need help. I have always been insecure, self conscious and paranoid about people thinking the worst of me/not being accepted, but for some reason, this has got worse in recent months. It is a living nightmare, constantly worrying about things that really shouldn't matter

Sheryl perhaps it's time you stopped looking out for answers/reasons and get the help to look where the problems more than likely originate from,inside....IMO most of us need a little help in our lives at some stage,get your butt busy madam,get the help ,get your life on track,make the best of life and enjoy it.

Lee the problem originates from my childhood. I didn't receive much love and encouragement, and there was a lot of domestic violence which made me withdraw from society and spend a lot of time on my own. I guess that is the reason why I find it hard to relax around people now. I really do need to see someone about this problem, as I don't want to feel miserable and so painfully introverted for the rest of my life. However I have seen a counsellor before and it didn't improve things for me so at all, so I am worried that I am beyond help.

Oh Sheryl I doubt very very much you are beyond help,seriously I don't....Obviously your problems originate from things which were not off your making but have deeply troubled you,which is understandable....Perhaps your previous counsellor and you didn't have a rapport,or perhaps you were a little selective/guarded what you divulged to him/her....There are some wonderful counsellors who specialise in DV,they could help you tremendously....In my former employment I saw many children of varying ages need and receive the help so it may be worthwhile contacting one of the groups within your own area.