Skip to main content

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get
there Saint Peter says "we only have one rule here in heaven, donΒ΄t step on
the ducks!"

So they enter heaven and sure enough there are ducks everywhere. It is
almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to
avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Then along comes
Saint Peter with the ugliest man she has ever seen. Saint Peter chains them
together and says, "your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend
eternity chained to this ugly man."

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and quick as a
flash Saint Peter is beside her with another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together telling her that this is her punishment for stepping
 on a duck.

The third woman has observed all of this and not wanting to be chained for
all eternity to an ugly man she is very very careful where she steps.
She manages to go for months without stepping on any ducks, but then one
days Saint Peter comes up to her with the most gorgeous man she has ever
seen in her life.  Saint Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The extremely happy woman looks up at the gorgeous man and says, "I wonder
what I did to deserve this?"

The man looks at her and says, "I donΒ΄t know about you, but I stepped on a
duck!"

Replies sorted oldest to newest



The ducks remind me of this sequence from The Marx Brothers first film The Cocoanuts which may never have been shown on British TV.

It goes as follows:
Hammer (Groucho): Come over here, Rand McNally, and I'll explain this thing to you.
Now look, this is a map and diagram of the whole Cocoanut section.

...

Hammer: ... Now, here is a little peninsula, and, eh,
here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.

Chico: Why a duck?

Hammer: I'm alright, how are you? I say, here is a little peninsula,
and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.

Chico: Alright, why a duck?

Hammer: (pause) I'm not playing "Ask Me Another," I say that's a viaduct.

Chico: Alright! Why a duck? Why that...why a duck? Why a no chicken?

Hammer: Well, I don't know why a no chicken; I'm a stranger here myself.
All I know is that it's a viaduct. You try to cross over there a chicken and you'll find out
why a duck.

Chico: When I go someplace I just...

Hammer: (interrupts) It's...It's deep water, that's why a duck. It's deep water.

Chico: That's why a duck...

Hammer: Look...look, suppose you were out horseback riding and you came to that stream
and you wanted to ford over...You couldn't make it, it's too deep!

Chico: Well, why do you want with a Ford if you gotta horse?

Hammer: Well, I'm sorry the matter ever came up.
All I know is that it's a viaduct.

Chico: Now look, alright, I catch ona why a horse, why a chicken, why a this, why a that...
I no catch ona why a duck.

Hammer: I was only fooling...I was only fooling.
They're gonna build a tunnel there in the morning.
Now is that clear to you?

Chico: Yes, everything excepta why a duck.
El Loro
a woman is in town on a shopping spree, and her day was getting better and better when she found the most perfect pair of shoes to go with the dress she had just bought with a 50% off discount.   Her mobile phone rang and when she answered, it was a female  Dr, telling her, that her Husband had been in an accident, and was in the ICU in a critical condition. She asked the Dr to let her Husband know she was on her way!

As she hung up she realised the sales in the mall were the best ever, so she delved into a few more stores on her way to the Hospital, finishing up with a free coffee and cake, compliments of her favourite boutique!

When she arrived at the Hospital, she found the Dr who had called her and asked about her husband's condition.

The female Dr glared at her pointing a finger at her she shouted "You went and finished your shopping trip didn't you, and all the while your poor man was struggling and fighting for his life. It's going to be the last day out you'll have for a while, because your job from now on is going to be caring for him 24/7x365.! "

The woman broke down sobbing then she heard the female Dr chuckling.

"I'm just kidding. He's dead.......now show me what you've bought!"   
FM

Add Reply

×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×
×