It seems to be the thing to do... you have to go abroad for a stag do.   I have lost count of the number of hubbies friends' stag do's he has been unable to go on because we just can't afford it.

I know from when we planned our stag & hen do's, 6 years ago, that you make a decision on whether you book something exotic knowing there will be some friends unable to attend, or you book something that is doable for all those you want there.  We went for the latter...  but then having been subjected to about a dozen weddings that year, that were planned in such a way as to make them a nightmare for the guests, the whole theme of our wedding was that everyone should have a good time...  after all they were spending their hard earned money coming to celebrate our wedding.

TBH. Joe, I don't see why grown,'mature' men and women need to wear silly clothes and behave like adolescents.We (British) people are laughing stocks abroad now, and there are cities that just don't want drunken men and women rampaging about their beautiful places. I think it was Prague a couple of weeks ago that said they were sick of the Brits and the attitude they have.It predujdices genuine tourist types like us who  know how to behave, but they tar us with the same brush.
We used to like taking the grandson to Blackpool, but on a weekend that is a no go place for families, it is full of partly dressed, drunken men and women just slogging around the town waiting for the night clubs to open. Shame really, I would like people to really enjoy themselves without being loutish, but that seems a thing of the past now.

That seems like a really sensible approach Ditty... going abroad for the stag do is all fine if everyone can afford to go. Surely whats more important is celebrating with all of yoru mates

Cyprus seems to be popular for weddings,several of our extended family have been married there....The bride and groom paid for their parents and immediate family to attend also the bridal party but they also laid on a huge party/reception when they returned for all family and friends...Our youngest son is getting married next year and they intend to go abroad for the stag and hen parties,seems to be the done thing now days....They are getting married at home although in another town but they are providing transport to and from the reception,there's 150 guests for the main reception and lord knows how many for the night reception,imagine trying to transport that amount abroad.

It does seem crazy when there is a big wedding to pay for and a house etc! My hubby just went to the pub and I went for a meal!

I don't get it

My hen night was crap. My chief bridesmaid had to be my cousin (family politics) so she had to organise it and she is the most boring person ever.

We went to play crazy golf then had a murder mystery dvd at my house that nobody except her understood

awww Arwen I thought I was the most boring person ever, and even I think thats boring

I like the look of those pampering spa day thingies

Make sure you pick a bloody good bridesmaid then.

And you are not boring. Whatsoever.

Silly sausage.

I had one of those as well as my hen night.   I was extremely lucky... my two best friends deferred being actual bridesmaids... their daughters were my bridesmaids along with my daughter.  But they still undertook all the bridesmaid duties... and then some.   From sorting out table decorations, to making sure the girls all got the bridesmaids dresses they wanted... but that they all worked as a whole... my two friends did it all.

Bizarrely, one of them wore an off white trouser suit on the day... which was handy really... cos she was in the back room helping me sort out veil & stuff... and we had arranged that access for her to get to her seat be arranged (as we walked down the aisle).  When we began "the walk" there was no way for her to get down to her seat.. so thinking on her feet, she grabbed a spare bouquet and walked behind the girls... and it looked like we had planned it that way.

On top of the hen night they arranged (tapas bar followed by nightclub)... the two of them took me for a pampering weekend at a spa...  we lived in soft towelling robes & slippers, sipped champagne by the pool & had everything pummelled, polished & painted!

Sounds like heaven I thought the couple getting married did all the organising stuff like table decorations etc

and thanks Arwen

yeah... and I should have done it.   But my friend helped me design them... and as she is an artist offered to make them for me.   But loads of stuff that was on my list of things to do she took on as well.   I was having a really stressy time at work... and my friend was an absolute godsend... she saw something that needed doing, and just did it.

ok... I have found a pic from the 'purple' table (we designated our tables with colours... top tables red, then the other tables blue, green, purple, yellow, orange)...  The strands wrapped round the middle are hand beaded wire... I helped with that... it took hours!

awww she sounds lovely

Like the table decorations too

I loved them.

Apparently my MIL wasn't impressed with the "bunch of twigs" on the table!

(but then I wasn't impressed with the dead fox she had draped around her shoulders!)

I never had a hen night, but then again I never really had a wedding.

I couldn't think of anything worse than a full blown wedding day, or hen night

I've never understood people that save up all their lives  to blow it all on one day.


My wedding day consisted of four people in a registrars office doing the official deed, and then we had what was supposed to be a party to celebrate said 'do"
My whole night was spent telling people that it wasn't a reception......IT'S a PARTY

Walking down an aisle in full regalia, with everyone watching .....is, and always has been ....my worst nightmare

PS  I realize I'm a bit odd, and anyone that wants, and likes a big wedding is completely normal

Its bloody terrifying!

Of course it is   SO  why do people save up, and put themselves through such torture, and leave them in debt for years.
I'll never understand it as long as I live, but I have two friends that put themselves in the most horrific debt ........for a wedding    One of them got divorced after eighteen months, and the other one says she was happy with the amount she spent.







It's none of my business to criticize , but here I am doing it anyway  It's not for me, but I can see why people get into debt for it..........Even my hubby says he wishes I was more of a girlie girl     He wouldn't think that if he was presented with a wedding bill.......Tight get that he is

Totally agree stoory. I walked down the aisle and all that and I really really wish I hadn't now.

I just wanted a simple quiet wedding but family pressure etc I was so embarrassed Everything was controlled from the bloody Lion King for my first dance to tables. In fact my stepdad walked in on my Grandpa's wife changing the place settings around in the dining room. She said she thought other people deserved to be nearer the top table

I'm with Stoory....to me the big white wedintg was my idea of hell...we just had a small registry office with about 20 people then a party (not a reception) after.

And I just went out for a meal the night before whilst himself and some mates had a table football tournament.

Best 'hen' do I ever went to was my sister's. She thought that she was just having a group of friends to the house for drinks but we had secretly planned a 'This is Your Life' night. Other sis did the Michael Aspel job and several of us dressed up and 'came on' to play the part of her various exes etc. It was an absolute hoot and at the end she was presented with the red book ending in ******* This is your life ****** This is you wife!

Arwen, yours sounds like a bit of a nightmare

No! I agree with this and your subsequent posts entirely. We said to number one son, "If you want to get married, go off and get married, don't involve us!"

We're paying for our sons wedding reception ,more fools us eh ...His fiancee wants a big wedding and by lord she's making sure she gets it four bridesmaids a best man and 3 ushers ...Lighted back drops behind the top table ,lilies mirrors and Swarovski crystals as table centrepieces,Table runners chair covers and coordinating bows ,Vintage cars to take them to the chapel and reception ,Flower arrangements on the pews in the chapeland outside  ,lord knows what else tbh....

I thought the bride's family was supposed to pay for everything Lee

My dad has suggested I elope if I get married

Supposed to being the operative words Saz....TBH it's a long complicated story regarding my sons future in-laws (Who are divorced) so to ease the financial pressure for them my husband and I said we'd pay for the reception but my future DiL who likes/wants  the best of everything is running amok with other things....Our son looks so stressed and tbh when the time comes no-way shall we be carry the can for anything else....Our eldest son who is an usher is paying for all the flowers,my brother is paying for their honeymoon and giving them spending money,imo they're doing ok from our side of them family as it stands.

Jeebus, I'd make her pay for all her grandeur herself

Sounds like a bit of an understatement Lee!

I do regret saying so soon we'd pay for the reception tbh,as far as I can see if we hadn't and they thought they'd to cover that they may have been more careful with the list of  other things,then again maybe not.

Were you thinking pie and mash down the local pub when you said you'd pay??

It sounds like she's a right pee taker!

Blimey Lee

I hope none of my children ever think we'd spend that money on a wedding

Pie and mash,Croc, they'd have a darn coronary .....4 course meal and evening buffet they're having while Mr L and I have a breakdown....I did put my foot down the other week when she said they'd have to get an extra limo,when I asked why she said to take her mum to the reception as she has to go with the bridal party for pics and don't drive....Rexi we'd have gave them cash any road but instead offered to pay for the reception,coincidentally the number of guests has grown since but there will be a cut off point and it's fast approaching.

Oh dear Still, I'm sure it will be a lovely day ... have you even thought about your outfit yet?

It will be lovely,he's the baby of the family though....I have no idea what I will wear Rexi,I got a gorgeous Maria Coca outfit for my friends daughters wedding on New Years Eve,it was really lovely,my son who's getting married happened to be here when I was sending it to the dry cleaners he said mum wear that to my wedding ....not a darn chance my boy.

It is so easy to go OTT with weddings nowadays. Anyone been to one of those Wedding Fayres? Talk about a licence to print money!

When my sister in law got married a few years ago her chief bridesmaid was exceptional  with all the prep. She hired a fabulous house with swimming pool for the night. She contacted everyone re food stuff and we had a gorgeous picnic in the garden - a lady came to do massage, nails, facials etc .........................in the evening she cooked a simple but fab meal ...........then ...............................taxis came and we all hit the town (really, really wrong move IMO) - it would have been lovely to have an evening in - in the beautiful house. A few of us oldies (and some younger ones including my daughter) escaped early and went back to the house and had a great time.

My son stayed out with the hens till 4.30 am (incidentally he's gay and was allowed to participate) he came back for a late night swim. Lovely brekkie and away the next day. a whole lot cheaper than a trip abroad and a lovely experience.