Gawd knows Aimee....

to me, the notion that my ex would suddenly decide to give us any money is such a mythical concept, that I imagine not only would I get money... but prince charming would rock up, slay the dragon, create world peace & all the injustice & suffering in the world would disappear & everyone would live happily ever after! 

but I may be a leeeetle bit cynical & bitter

I'm not really sure Aimee.... but perhaps someone like the CAB would be able to tell you

actually.. on a more serious note...

no probably not!   Cos before I was working, when I was a single mum, they tried pretty hard to get money out of my ex....  because THEY would get this money... on account of me claiming benefits.

Once I was working, and it wasn't in their interests to get him to cough up they seemed to lose interest in pursuing him!

that would be me on thursday  but come friday theres £2000 extra in my account  me, its not mine  the post office, yes it is, me  no its not, i phoned the post office and they told me it was from the csa, me *faint*  phoned the csa and they said yes they had paid it in and it was mine  i haven't ever had any payments from daughters dad for over 10 years  they said he had paid up *has heart attack* and this was my share, i said i was on benefits and they said that was ok i was entitled to this money  i daren't touch this money

From the CSA website..

The flat rate of child maintenance is £5 a week - no matter how many children are involved.

The non-resident parent pays a flat rate for child maintenance if:

• their net weekly income is between £5 and £100, or
• they or their partner who they live with gets Income Support, income-based Jobseeker's Allowance, Employment and Support Allowance or Pension Credit, or
• they are getting one of the following benefits:
  • contribution-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
  • State Retirement Pension
  • Incapacity Benefit
  • Carer's Allowance
  • Widowed Mother’s Allowance, Widowed Parent's Allowance, Widow's Pension
  • Severe Disablement Allowance
  • Industrial Injuries Benefit
  • Maternity Allowance
  • a training allowance approved by the Department for Work and Pensions
  • Armed Forces Compensation Scheme payments
  • a War Disablement or War Widow’s Pension
  • Bereavement Allowance
  • a social security benefit paid by a country outside the United Kingdom.

Aimee!  

O. M. G.!   Well... I have seen everything now!

Wow!  

I can't blame you for not daring to touch it though.   Some years ago the tax peeps told me I was entitled to the family tax credit they awarded me...  despite me phoning them up numerous times to tell them that I thought they had it wrong... it was too much.

Noooo, they said.   Its just the way the system works... people like yourself who are trying to work their way off benefits do quite well out of it.

A couple of years later they demanded £6k back...  in full!

i went to to the post office and she said how much, me all of it please £53 odd and she started counting £20 notes and said i could only have £600 in one day  me, no no its not mine, her, well you asked for all off it you'll have to take it  i nearly got into fisty cuffs for her to take the money back

oh.. you are a stronger woman than me.   I think I;d have stood there thinking "wtf is going oooon"...   taken the money...   shuffled out the post office and then legged it home, locked the doors... disconnected the phone!

well i stood there and thought  went to my parents house and my dad said he wished i'd never visited cause i'd gave him an headache

So... what ya gonna spend it on then?

its come at a good time....  we've just had xmas... and I know it was Aimees birthday quite recently... so you aren't going to be tempted to blow it all on her.... 

what you gonna get... what you gonna get?

(look at me getting all excited on your behalf! )

I have no idea

 Aimee is going to spain in july for a sports event so i'll get her some new clothes , a new living room carpet and some new blinds and theres anything left it will go in Aimees college fund

yay for the new carpet & blinds!

they are on my wish list as well!

you gotta have one treat for yourself out of it as well... not home related or daughter related.  Nothing big... but something... frivolous.  like a bottle of perfume or something.

you have to.. its the law!

its her money really only 10yrs too late, the home improvements is for her as well as me

oooh.. you see it a bit differently to me...

certainly for me... it would kinda be my money... as I am the one who has had to find the money to bring the kids up...   I am not saying it wouldn't go on them... somehow every spare penny we have seems to end up going that way...  but its been me that has gone without in order to ensure she doesn't for the past umpteen years.

Still... completely hypothetical...  cos there is no way on earth her dad is gonna suddenly decide to cough up...    

I just like to spend imaginary money in my head!

Aimeee!!!!! For all us single parents the world over who have never had a penny from the father......... SPEND SPEND SPEND my girl.  

the same thought has gone through my head  and Aimee has told me to keep the money for myself, but i can't

so just treat yourself to one thing then!

one thing that you could not normally justify spending the money on.  

Even if its just an expensive branded nail polish or face cream or something.

I have a very long list of such items....  

My sons father hasnt paid a thing in over 4 years since him and his partner had a baby.

My son finished full time school in July and the cut off date for going back to school was september.

I had a letter about 1 month ago to say that the CSA would be making one final payment in my bank in the near future of the arrears on the account and they would then close it. I rang them up and asked how much to expect and I am expecting the grand old total of £1.07. 

Its a bloody joke just cos he has got another little boy all of a sudden our son falls off the face of the earth as far as the csa are concerned.

I've never gone down the CSA route (would be a pointless task and lead to more trouble then it's worth), but my friend has and I know she's been locked in wars with them for about 3 years. Her ex is self employed, and because of this it isn't as easy to get money out of him, although some small payment have been made. I know she still received money when she was on benefits, but where he would pay, say, 30 quid, she would only get 20 of that with CSA taking their cut. (That's why they're called an agency). I know that if both parties are on benefits it still works that way too, the absent parent would pay 15 quid or so out of their benefit money and only 8 quid would go to the guardian.

It's worked for some and well done Aimee that you've managed to get something at last, regarding the benefits position aren't you allowed to have x amount of savings anyway? I wouldn't say a word about it to tell you the truth, it's your money and you're entitled to it. My friend was on benefits and received 3 grand in compensation from her old job, nothing happened to her (she didn't declare it).

Take the money and enjoy it with your daughter, and if they do ever get in touch, explain that you were told your benefits were not affected. It's money for you and yours, so make the most of it.

Of course if you really dont want you could always give it to me

i've decided to keep it  the cream cakes are on me  i've spoken to daughters dad today and the csa had put an injuction on his house and he has had to remortgage and has paid the csa 15 thousand  i find it really strange they haven't wrote and told me this 

Hay aims remember me your old skint friend

who said that

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo