Put Hetty on the sofa next to me for a nap, lappy on my knee, and she just shuffled down and gave me a two legged full on kick on my norks while I was distracted.
It fair winded me it did. I'm gonna have bruised boobies now. 
Replies sorted oldest to newest
Let me kiss them better Yes they can be quite violent. My son used to grab my long hair and pull as hard as possible.
Talking of winding, my friend asked me to wind her baby when she had finished her bottle 
I thought that was a bit harsh so i just gave her a dead arm instead
I thought that was a bit harsh so i just gave her a dead arm instead
Wait 'till she head butts you under the chin!
Reference:
Wait 'till she head butts you under the chin!
I've had a couple of those too. I thought she was going to knock my teeth out. I never imagined that something so small cause so much pain!
I've got 18 month old twin girls and I've been tag teamed many a time by them. One pulling my hair while the other pokes me in the eye.
OMG tag teamed by twin babies. 
Ah! It's not so bad Queenie. They've managed to get their Daddy smack in his nuts a few times 
When he was 9 months old my nephew headbutted me, and my blooming mother exclaimed at me, as if l had headbutted HIM. Babies are sneaky !
Reference:
Ah! It's not so bad Queenie. They've managed to get their Daddy smack in his nuts a few times
Reference:
When he was 9 months old my nephew headbutted me, and my blooming mother exclaimed at me, as if l had headbutted HIM. Babies are sneaky !
They try to rip your lips off too! 
edit: I'm not talking about the birth.
edit: I'm not talking about the birth.
Our youngest used to sit on my knee and try to stretch my lipsas wide as poss
It was like , "Owww - hey man!!"
It was like , "Owww - hey man!!"
Reference:
They try to rip your lips off too!
wonder what the atttraction is with soft flappy bits? my yongest used to fiddle with my ear lobes
I've always thought babies were evil, and this thread comfirms it.
Reference: Toid
I've always thought babies were evil, and this thread comfirms it.
Reference:
I've always thought babies were evil, and this thread comfirms it.
Oh that's nothing. We haven't even touched on how they manage to make "certain deposits" appear from the top of their babygrow yet.
Ouch queenie. But you still have the 'flinging and head butting you right in the face' and the 'throwing up directly in to your mouth when you are holding them up high' to look forward to.
Good grief. Why does nobody tell you this stuff before you have a baby?
Why does nobody tell you this stuff before you have a baby?Reference:
Oh that's nothing. We haven't even touched on how they manage to make "certain deposits" appear from the top of their babygrow yet.
Urgh, I've seen them do that. Sit down with a bump and squelch that full nappy good 
Reference:
Oh that's nothing. We haven't even touched on how they manage to make "certain deposits" appear from the top of their babygrow yet.
Reference:
wtf are norks?
Tits to you Jamie....tits!Reference:
noooooooooooooooooo keep them covered
but you might like them
Oh God, this is going to descend into another one of those threads isn't it.