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I woke up early this morning, donned my dirty boots, jeans and scruffy t-shirt and did a list of DIY around the house....without any prompting I might add! I've sanded, varnished, used tools and done all those manly things that you leave for another day.


Bloody hell, Mrs Trollop thinks all his birthdays have come at once, hes stood over me all morning cooing, smiling and making bacon butties. I swear, when the drill was going I could sense the sexual tension!


3 hrs later, we've been jiggy, I've had breakfast and hes happy as Larry running around with his duster and polish! Whys it taken me so long to discover this ploy? I fear I've made a rod for my own back now though. I can see him furtively eyeing up the paintwork outside

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