Just a thought, but, hasn't Jordan said in the past when she's been slagging folks off that she 'just speaks her mind'....I don't think Kim was out of order when she had a 'go' at Jordan the other night as Jordan asked her a question and she answered.  I do however think the Justin thing was a tad OTT....

I think sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut in certain circumstances as you can come across as bitter and uncouth!

Kim was being a pain, she imo is doing exactly what she's accusing Katie of doing - playing up to the Cameras.

Shame really because I liked her in the beginning.

I think people who like to "speak their minds" ought to realise that their honesty, when it isn`t tempered with a little sensitivity, can be perceived as being harsh and rude.

No Nanoo nanoo Rety....

Same here Lacey

There are ways and means of saying things so as not to get people's backs up. It just takes a little more thought and planning.

So what we have here is an older woman who thinks she can say whatever she wants and get away with anything...

That's pretty much the norm...

Kim gets on my nerves...but so do Justin and KP. They're all in it for the money and publicity, they all think that being biatchy will gain them brownie points because the viewers love a good row.....it's the name of the game.

What Kaytee said.

These people crop up from time to time, and I find them difficult to cope with, especially in the workplace.  Often larger-than-life characters that lots of people really like (or pretend to) because they are "characters."  They get away with saying anything they want, because they aren't going to tone down their views for anyone.  Over a period of time, people are afraid to challenge them, because they don't want to be on the receiving end of the sharp tongue.

This one crops up regularly during BB, doesn't it? Is the 'in yer face' harpy who tells everyone like it is on every possible occasion being honest (as we often used to get told by fans of the vile Charley) or a gobby and aggressive pain in the butt? It makes me wonder about those who fall into the 'she's just being honest' camp and declare tact and diplomacy to be 'fake'. How do they hold down jobs for more than a few days at a time? Do they have any kind of relationships with friends, neighbours, anyone at all?

I would never say what I think for fear of hurting peoples feelings, you can think it, but never say it.  I have had enough of people saying exactly what they think to me and it is hurtful in the extreme at times, my brother is a good example of this, what ever I did or wore, he would say oh that's not good enough, and laugh.

My mum as well, I am not the slimmest person in the world and the other week I saw her after not seeing her for a while and I happened to mention that being ill had made me lose some weight, something I was quite happy about, yes she went, it's a start, but not enough,   You challenge her about what she says and she always comes back with well I'm only being honest, that's what you want isn't it?  Erm, no, not at times, I would like to be given encouragement for doing it, not told it's not enough.  That's why we don't have the best relationship in the world, my mum is not maternal at all, in fact I don't remember her ever giving me a cuddle or telling me she loved me, not even on my wedding day, my dad did, but not my mum.

Sorry for going off topic.

PinkBabe, we must have the same Mum!!! I really mean that...:hugs:

What you have said in your post is exactly how it has been with us...my Mum has never told me I look nice etc, instead she'll look me up and down and say something like "Too much makeup on", never, that i look nice!!!!, she always has to say something negative to put you down.

SHe has a look that she gives that other people don't notice, but I know what it means, it's a kind of disapproving look....I can't explain it but it can make me feel so rubbish.....

On my 21st Birthday I saved and saved to buy a dress, it was £100 (alot 15 years ago)....I was only about a size 8 then and had a decent figure.  I got myself all dressed up, feeling a million dollars for my big night out, she just gave me THAT look and said "Your skirts abit short" and that was it!!!! So PinkBabe, I know exactly how you feel

Same here, we have come the the conclusion that my Mum is just jealous of her own Daughters, sad but true

Don't mention nasty mothers

I had a friend down the school who said to me "I didn't think someone like you would be married to someone who looks like him" Thats when I smacked her in the mouth.

Cheeky mare, what the hell is that supposed to mean??!!! Good for you Essie

You should have counted her kids and said you were surprised she'd been efft that many times!     

pmsl!

I like someone to be a straight talker but there can be a fine line between being straight and being rude, it depends what the persons motives are and how they say what they are saying,I think you can usually tell by their body language if they are crossing the line..

Essie that was very nasty she was probably jealous

No.

Cheeky Cow!  That puts me in mind of this git I used to work for, who met the husband of one of our work colleagues; she looked like jordan 10 years ago, when she was pretty and sexy and not a rough plastic minger.  Anyway, her husband was in a wheelchair and paralysed from the waist down.  And this guy (my boss) said to me and two others in our office 'I am shocked to see someone so fu*kable and drop dead gorgeous married to a spast1c!'
 

But what on earth DOES make people say nasty things?  My best mate's mum in law said to her 10 year old daughter the other day, 'ooh Emily, you've got  round 'chubby face haven't you?', and prodded her waist saying 'you can pinch an inch or ten!'  Stupid cow,  Emily walked out and cried in the garden. 


It seems to be mainly older folk (Over 55/60) who are the worst offenders in my experience, but some younger ones are bad too, but I have observed that it's almost ALWAYS women!  My weight has been up and down over about 20 years, between a size 12 and size 22, and every nasty comment I have ever had, has been from a woman; never a man.


Like I said, WHY?  I would NEVER say anything nasty to ANYone like that!  And as I said earlier in the thread, when you say you are upset, they say 'I'm only joking, don't be daft, you're so sensitive blah blah blah.'  bastards.

frosty, those examples are awful

Personally, I think some people forget to strike a balance between whether their "right" to "speak their minds" is more important than not hurting someone else's feelings.

Cheers Demantoid.  Yes I agree with what you say here.  Personally I would rather not hurt peoples' feelings.  See ya again soon. 

my dad is always full of snide comments, i used to keep quiet till we fell out about Feb time....we've made up now but if he was to say something snide to me about my appearance or my kids or my OH....he'd get told.

lukcily he hasn't yet...and seen him about 5 times since we made up....record for him i have to say

Of course not,you'd have to be pretty insensitive to do so.Doesn't stop ya thinking it though.

In my experience, people who say exactly what they think don't like it when others do the same.

never a truer word was said

Also why do people think it is a good personality trait to have. .they boast. .'I speak my mind all the time and say it how it is'... to me that translates to I am a ignorant git and don't give a shit about hurting others feelings but woe betide you say something nasty (and probably true)  to me..

If someone wants my honest opinion, I will give it (No, I don't really think that suits you), but I try not to be nasty or harsh with it.

I'm careful what I ask - I would never ask my husband if my bum looks big in this, because he would tell me!

If someone asks if an outfit 'suits' them, is saying "Yes, you are always badly dressed", the wrong thing?

Errrrrrrr

Oh I'm robbing and keeping that one....

I think I speak my mind, but only to very close family or friends and with regard for their feelings, and would not say it if I thought it would hurt them. So with a bit of a reality check I probably don't speak my mind very much. I do try to be honest and truthful with all the above proviso's though, so will be truthful, but maybe not the whole truth.
 It's not fair to share without due care.

I agree Mount Olympus. People DO think it's a GOOD thing that they are being 'frank' and 'honest' and doing you a favour by telling you the 'truth' that you're fat, you are a bit sad for being single and you SHOULD try and find a man, you WILL end up lonely if you remain child free, and other wee gems! 


And yes, these kind of people do NOT like it when you say something to them. 


Earlier in this thread, I mentioned this cheeky cow having a go at my other half's weight, as she has done at least twice before!!  And so I attacked her back, as I was FUMING, and I said 'I don't think someone with a nose like yours should be commenting on peoples' looks!', She went PURPLE and stormed off, and the next time I saw some of her work acquaintaces, they give me a filthy look and ignored me.


Suzi Q; it's one thing to 'give an honest opinion' if someone asks you what you think, I do this sometimes, but would not be cruel with it.  If my pal for instance, was wearing something that was not figure flattering and she asked me what it looked like, I would just say 'hmmm, doesn't really suit you.  have you got something a little looser or something similar...)  But only if they ASKED.  But how DARE anyone approach you in public, who barely knows you (like an old ex colleague' or someone your partner knows, and prod at your belly and say 'getting to be a porker aren't you,?' like they did with my other half? 


And as someone has said, God FORBID you say anything about them!  Nasty, mean spirited insecure little toads they are.  They are clearly really unhappy and so insecure about themselves and their own miserable lives, that they just want you to feel as wretched as them; like that grotbags lookalike 'Kim' from I'm a Celebrity.

I was at my mother in law's last week for dinner, two distant relatives and their wives were over from Norway for a visit so it was a bit of a family thing.  Anyhow my hubby's ickle nephew (only 6) kept whispering to me about the other people in the room.  I told him it was rude to whisper...and he replied 'No it's not, otherwise people would hear the mean things you're saying abou them'.

So the moral of the story is...say what you want, but say it in a whisper