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Do you know, he really is, he has my face hurting laughing, and his Mrs is just as flippin funny, brutally honest, but friggin funny. I love them both!
Just by posting with him, I know he's a genuine sort.

I would love to meet a few FMs from here cos after all this time, I figure I know who to trust or not to.

But Mr Q...well....am sure you can guess. I wish he was more open minded like Mr Cinds....but takes all sorts I suppose.
queenshaks
Reference:
I wish he was more open minded like Mr Cinds....but takes all sorts I suppose.
You're right, it does take all sorts to make the world go round.  I think me and the Mr are so suited because we both have a 'whatever' attitude, although he is more tolerant than I am.  I don't suffer fools, where he does.
Cinds
Arwen ... here're my views. Based on my own experience.

He wants a change. He can't cope with the whole mother thing (it's called the madonna/whore complex) plus he cannot accept that having had babies her body cannot be the same as it was before she had them. If he's not having an affair he's not far off - the sad pathetic sap. His ego needs massaging and he can't be seen with a saggy, overweight cow on his arm.

You need to speak to her NOW and tell her what's going on. If she acts on that is up to her. However, it may not make any difference. It didn't in my case.

Let me explain - I had 2 kids in the space of 19 months. Both ended up as c-sections. I adored being pregnant but never carried well. I ballooned. Daughter born May 1996. She didn't sleep much the first 6 months and son was a toddler so no sleep daytime. I was knackered. However by Jan 1997 all was well, I was signed up to a gym. Cue 6 months of 6 hours + a week in the gym and 3 + swims of a mile or more each week. By the time daughter was a year old I was back to my wedding weight but looked far fitter. Everyone thought I looked fantastic. 

Well, everyone except himself. Despite 1000+ tummy crunches a week I was not able to recreate my flat tummy. It revolted him. He said so ... constantly ("You have to understand that no man can love an ugly woman"). For 5 years I had this until eventually his affairs got to  much for me and I kicked him out.

So here's the deal...either she shapes up and he's happy with that and all is well (we would hope so but how relaxed can you be if the way you look stops your OH from loving you after time and babies together?), or she carries on and it's fecked either way or she loses the weight and tones up and he still thinks she's a saggy fat cow. In which case, at least she's physically in shape for the far, FAR better men that are out there (I'm guessing. Personally I don't know. I hung about too long being told I was ugly, hideous and unlovable so I would never even register the fact that someone thought I was OK).

If she stays with someone like that it will get worse and worse...you have to act now. For her sake. If she chooses not to act you can do no more. There are women out there willing to accept the compromise of affairs for the sake of financial security. For my sins I was not. It's changed me absolutely. But I look back on the person  Iwas and I laugh at how ridiculous she seems.
Cariad1
Sorry Arwen.
I just get on my high horse about stuff like this. Maybe it'll work out if they are both prepared to make an effort. Maybe she has let herself go and he's become fed up with that but by the same token has he shown any interest in helping her get back on track? It's tough in the months after having a baby - you both need to muck in, and it can be easy to lose sight of the people you were before the baby arrived. All of us who've been there know that.

Either way I tend to take a hard line view where affairs are concerned. To my mind there is never any excuse. If your marriage is in that much trouble you either decide to make a concerted effort to sort it out if you can or you walk away and then have your flings. 

My ex remains convinced we split up because he couldn't stop sleeping around (the nanny, my best mate ... you name it! ) but the fact was I got to the stage where the thought of being single for the rest of my life sounded like bliss compared with being constantly dragged down for being a DUF. 

I'd not go back to that for the world. I hope she manages to work things out - whatever way the chips fall. xx
Cariad1

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