and I'm hard   Taxi or lift, whichever you choose I'll go along with

I have 'done it' on playa del ingles beach!!!

I actually have!!!

But I assume you weren't having your picnic at night time... so it wasn't me!

yep I noticed and you're welcome

DAA, you're so hard kind . I'll book a taxi for return and pick u up on the way unless you tell me otherwise.

Ditty, glad it wasn't you cos the fella wasn't that great. Last beach I did it on was either prestatyn in summer, or El Cotillo in Fuerteventura

  That will be fine Low, we can have a couple of extra lemonades

good night everybody

Surely the best thing to do would have been to provide the sound effects for them?  I think that's what I would have done.  "Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  YES! OH YES!"  etc with your husband making loud grunting noises.  I'd have done it just to put them off their stroke, so to speak.  Followed obviously by a round of applause and possibly some cheers if they got to the end.

You could have done a John Motson-style commentary

Dan and the Toid!

Or a Peter O'Sullivan horseracing-style one.

"...and it's Randy Spaniard coming up hard on Blushing Senorita.."

Oh! That was a good read....love the details like the cheese and tom baps

Littering beaches...tut tut tut

Top and bottom, no time for sandcastles then bet the smell attracted some animals.

Kinky!

I've walked passed that beach from Playa del Inglais to Maspalomas!  All I saw was a load of old biddies with orange bodies and copious amounts of grey pubes. 

Oh and some gay men with very tight shorts parading up and down with their pecks standing to attention!

I love Gran Canaria!

In Fuerteventura I was in the sea with my brother and my cousin swimming and snorkelling when we saw a wrinkly naked old couple, OMG we soon cringed and ran back to our moms and dads who were laughing about it all like us.

Thats where we used to stay!! 

I doubt I'll go again... last time I went I broke my arm on day 2 of my holiday!

But I used to love Maspalomas

I have only been to gran canaria that once,  never been back again, don't know why?

we stayed in meloneras in January for the first time (usually we stay in Maspalomas) and it was gorgeous.  The hotel was a bit crap though, we usually stay at the Sandy Golf in Maspalomas which are beautiful little apartment type things with a patio and a communal pool. Faro 2 shopping centre really near! Self catering and totally relaxing!

I've been about 5 times to Gran Canaria now!!!

I prefer Fuerteventura, love hotel tres islas , my best resort there is El Cotillo, but only been for day trips. would love to stay in el cotillo but hard to find accommodation. I'm too nervous of booking direct with owners, don't know who to trust.

I've been 4 or 5 times.   The only two I can remember were Princess Bungalows (they were really nice), and even better was Los Alberoquecos (it means the apricots... I remember it cos it took me and my mates ten minutes sitting in the back of a taxi to remember the name of it.... we were at the Kasbah)

Was OK....  I wasn't keen on the wind on Fuerteventura

OMG... that was the place where I threw up garlic prawns through my nose in the loos!  (top tip... never eat garlic prawns when you have an evil tequila hangover)

Ditty, urgh, too descriptive, I can feel the pain.
Yes Fuerte is more windy, you have to get in the stone circles then it's fine. The sea seemed bluer there and el cotillo is dreamy.

I think they had already given each other one.

LOL sorry Low.   I have talked about this incident before on here... I got all excited when Lacey named the exact location.

Re: Fuerte .....  the bf I was out there with at the time (was before the reign of Mr Ditty)... was in the windsurfing championships they hold out there... so he loved the wind!   For me it meant investing in a windbreaker... then all was well

did it look something like this?

They could have been having an affair and knew no one that would recognize them would be at a nudist beach

Yeah, I want to know the position, how long it took, and everything!

yeah we want details

The warm up took longer than the main event.

lmao!   gross!  I've never eaten there I just used to go to the shop to get food!

Glad I didn't now!

Oh... it wasn't the restaurants fault!

I blame it on the bar touts... making you drink all those bogof tequilas to get you into their bar!

Suddenly pictures Bubbles DeVere

a load of old biddies with orange bodies and copious amounts of grey pubes

That would have gone well in the Orange Arse Group

I can't believe you went for a picnic in the Dunes in Gran Canaria   They're famous for the 'shenanigans'

We went every day just about for a fortnight  always taking our picnic supplys for a whole day of sunbathing. Didn't know about any shenanigans until that day.
We have regularly been on naturist beaches and haven't encountered other people's antics ever again. The word must get round as we approach, 'stop what you're doing folks, she doesn't look away'