i'm here so late waiting on my oven ready dinna , dead tired and just noticed my cooker is fukt , blootered on the bung not worth a **** omg xmas on the way n i need a new cooker 
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My cooker's an ornament, so my family tell me.
Build a fire? 
Madamski, you sound in a sorry state. 
lol i could buid a fire but its too late now ............. aw naw i'm going to bed to worry myself to sleep now
Toast some bread on the gas fire. 
Fukt are useless... buy an AEG! 
Microwaves are handy at times. 
Blootered
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww no ma gas fire got removed last november for monoxidizing me lol cost me a fortune for repairs lol now i need a new cooker btw i did notice a banging sound coming from it
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btw i did notice a banging sound coming from it
Could be someone in the oven Reference:
Could be someone in the oven
Ooops! 
Forgot that's where I put carot last night Reference:
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww no ma gas fire got removed last november for monoxidizing me lol cost me a fortune for repairs lol now i need a new cooker btw i did notice a banging sound coming from it
Kill it first Reference:
.......monoxidizing me..............
You are rusting???!! In a singular fashion???!!!!
caratino 
soz ive tried i cannot quote 
i think microwave makes things soft * sobs* i miss my oven
soz ive tried i cannot quote i think microwave makes things soft * sobs* i miss my oven
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh * needs quoting lesson *
or AA
My top of the range 3 in 1 super dooper microwave is used as a bread bin, it's so effin complicated to use, I just can't be asked to read instructions on electrical things, or phones or computers or ..................anything with a manual.
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh * needs quoting lesson *
You did it before, but typed in the quote box.Reference:
* needs quoting lesson *
Highlight the text on the page as you see it that you want to quote as if you were cutting and pasting.
Then open the Post Reply box at the top or bottom of the page.
You will then see the post within a lined box, but without the persons name by the way.
Type your reply underneath that box, but within the reply box.
Press Submit, and you will see it show on the page!
Reference:
My top of the range 3 in 1 super dooper microwave is used as a bread bin,
Just press "on " and hey -presto- Toast. " Schimples" 
Ah feckin' cookers ,mine gave up about three years ago.Fortunately I did AT THE TIME HAVE THE DOSH FOR A NEW ONE,so we got a "Belling" good enough,I don't bake cakes etc .
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Just press "on " and hey -presto- Toast. " Schimples"
Reference:
Just press "on " and hey -presto- Toast. " Schimples"
I never fail to be amazed by the analytical male mind 
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I never fail to be amazed by the analytical male mind
But Xochi, someone who looks like this--> will be forgiven.Reference:
But Xochi, someone who looks like this--> will l be forgiven.
Grrrrr! will l be forgiven.
I just bought a bliddy tray out BM for making oven chips crispier and ma oven goes
hope you get something sorted soon
Reference:
Highlight the text on the page
I f I can anyone can! Simples!Highlight the bit you want to quote.
scroll down click on reply
quote will appear in comment box
type your comment underneath!
freecycle is the answer to your problems
Is it an electric one? The elements go sometimes. They're not that much to change. I bought mine on ebay (well, a shop advertising through ebay),
oh thanks daniel i'm going to look into that now as my grill and hobs are fine
as my grill and hobs are fine
If it's a fan oven then the element is usually round and underneath the cover where the fan is at the back. My Baumatic one cost ÂĢ20 to replace and took about 2 minutes to do with a screwdriver. The corrosion was visible as part of the element was buckled.
Turn your oven off at the wall first though!
Turn your oven off at the wall first though!
We bought our element for 30 squid as Neff was going to charge us for 100 squid. I googled it how to fix it and found a video on video jug.
I didn't fix it of course...I just googled for his lordship
I didn't fix it of course...I just googled for his lordship
Reference: madamski
i did notice a banging sound coming from it
Yikes...be careful. I had that few years ago...my cooker started making the most horrendous banging noises, so I turned it off at the wall, and 'phoned the company....the woman suggested I turn it on again and see if it was still doing it, but I said I wasn't going to do that.
They sent an engineer round to look at it, and he said that some of the wires had had their insulation burned off, and the whole chassis was live...if I'd turned it on, I'd have been blown across the room....