quote:

Originally posted by Mummy Maz:
To any of the housemates........

From Marcus' Mum:-

Dear Son...

I've opened all your toy boxes and played with your action figures..

Can't wait to have you back.. i still need help showering

Love you always

Mummy xxx

I thought he doesn't speak to his mum after she dumped him as a kid ?

from siavashs ex

Dear A&**ole

hope noirin was worth it ,ive cut up the rest of your clothes and let the cat wee in your shoes ,bye forever

your ex girlfriend

From Charlie's Dad:-

Ha'way lad,

I've enrolled you in the town's amatuer dramatics class, they think you'll fit reet in and be great for giving hammy actin' classes..

Ha'way the toon

quote:

I thought he doesn't speak to his mum after she dumped him as a kid ?

no, i heard he still lives with his mam??

Dear *Whoever*,

Don't come back. You're disinherited. Bye.

Dear Freddie,

You've been such an irritating pillock that daddy and I have decided to disinherit you. You'll have to make your own way in the world now, you snivelling, spoilt brat.

I believe you once worked as a rent boy; maybe you can take that up again.

Goodbye for ever,

Mummy

LOL @ Barlow!!

Dear Freddie,

Your meds are ready, please leave the Big Brother house.

Love Mama & Papa whatwhat..x

quote:

Originally posted by Mummy Maz:

quote:

I thought he doesn't speak to his mum after she dumped him as a kid ?

no, i heard he still lives with his mam??

He said last night thaat he has no one's life to swear over, so he will swear over his own. I took it that meant he had no living relatives, but have no clue as to teh exact reason he said that.

quote:

Originally posted by tupps:
Dear Freddie,

Your meds are ready, please leave the Big Brother house.

Love Mama & Papa whatwhat..x

That made me LOL!!

Dear Bea,

We are extremely disappointed with your behaviour in the house. I (your father) am NOT A MILLIONAIRE but thanks for getting the taxman on my arse luv.

Mum and I are appalled at how you have behaved and cannot watch anymore. We will only switch back on when you leave the house.

We had a big chat last night and have decided we want a divorce, not from eachother, but from YOU!

Also we have decided to adopt young Freddie, he seems like a decent chap, maybe marriage material, well he would be if you weren't such a stupid slutbox.

We would like to finish by saying we are also disgusted at your admission of having an orgy and being a bit of a feckin slag. We know why you call it free love, quite simply nobody would pay you.

Now feck off back to Brizzle and good luck with the public lynching.

Yours completely without love and kisses.

Mum and Dad.

MWAH X

P.S.

Don't get carried away that was a dirty great big Glasgow kiss.

Dear Bea,

We've emigrated. Please don't try to find us.

Mum and Dad

quote:

Originally posted by langster:
Dear Bea,

We are extremely disappointed with your behaviour in the house. I (your father) am NOT A MILLIONAIRE but thanks for getting the taxman on my arse luv.

Mum and I are appalled at how you have behaved and cannot watch anymore. We will only switch back on when you leave the house.

We had a big chat last night and have decided we want a divorce, not from eachother, but from YOU!

Also we have decided to adopt young Freddie, he seems like a decent chap, maybe marriage material, well he would be if you weren't such a stupid slutbox.

We would like to finish by saying we are also disgusted at your admission of having an orgy and being a bit of a feckin slag. We know why you call it free love, quite simply nobody would pay you.

Now feck off back to Brizzle and good luck with the public lynching.

Yours completely without love and kisses.

Mum and Dad.

MWAH X

P.S.

Don't get carried away that was a dirty great big Glasgow kiss.

that was great

quote:

Originally posted by langster:
Dear Bea,

We are extremely disappointed with your behaviour in the house. I (your father) am NOT A MILLIONAIRE but thanks for getting the taxman on my arse luv.

Mum and I are appalled at how you have behaved and cannot watch anymore. We will only switch back on when you leave the house.

We had a big chat last night and have decided we want a divorce, not from eachother, but from YOU!

Also we have decided to adopt young Freddie, he seems like a decent chap, maybe marriage material, well he would be if you weren't such a stupid slutbox.

We would like to finish by saying we are also disgusted at your admission of having an orgy and being a bit of a feckin slag. We know why you call it free love, quite simply nobody would pay you.

Now feck off back to Brizzle and good luck with the public lynching.

Yours completely without love and kisses.

Mum and Dad.

MWAH X

P.S.

Don't get carried away that was a dirty great big Glasgow kiss.

spot on

Dear Charlie
Well what can i say except you have made ya mam and meself very proud to call you son, the way you suck up to the scum is commendable lad, but i must say that your thieving tactics have improved since Kriss left, you are like a stealth plane quiet agile and go undetected, keep up the good work. I might add i like the way that you are working the voting public with mams story its working a treat. Look forward to seeing you with the readies in a couple of weeks time.

ps. carry on being the clown of the house, your HMs are so boring the house needs a lad like you.

Dear Our Little Princess
We've booked you in for a little breast reduction op luvvy. The hairdresser is also on emergency standby.
Mummy and Daddy

quote:

Dear Our Little Princess
We've booked you in for a little breast reduction op luvvy. The hairdresser is also on emergency standby.
Mummy and Daddy

LOL

They are all brilliant..made me laugh!!

Dear Dave

I only wanted 2 and 8 for the National down at th'Mecca last night. Thought you'd like to know

Please hurry back, my Stannah needs oiling and i'm running low on Tenas

all my love
Elsie from t'Bingo xxxx

Dear Bea

Cant be arsed saying out sorry

from family and friends

that would just be harlious

Dear Bea,
All the inmates are missing you.Hurry back to us.
Your padded room is still vacant..

From all of us at the Sanctuary

Dear Marcus

First of all, don't EVER ask me to look after your cat again! What did you say it was, Siamese? Well, I'll have you know that the fecking thing has wrecked my life...

I wake every morning to the sound of something from Hades, and no, it isn't just because I have an unretractable claw pawing at my ball bags! Those things are NOISY!

THEN, the wailing continues when I don't volunteer to share my full English with the boss eyed yowlmonger.

I leave for work, now knowing that when I return, I will be met with yet more domestic damage. Your beloved "Iddy" (was that meant to be an abbreviation of your moniker, btw?) has so far: shredded my sofa, blown the main fuse to my house by pi$$ing on the wall sockets, ripped the seal on my fridge freezer doors, vomited regurgitated carpet fluff in my bed, and is approaching an ASBO due to neighbour complaints about noise pollution.

I have tried to pacify Iddy, but she/he (How am I meant to know which, when the thing has no bollocks showing?) is obviously missing you so much that even your toys and games fail to amuse them.

Mate, on the plus side, I have now cleared your attic to make a place for Iddy so I can sleep at night. However, I had to take all those action figures out. They are selling really well on eBay at 99p Buy-It-Now and the proceeds will help pay for my repairs.

Look forward to seeing you soon, keep those guns of yours going until the end, eh?

Your best mate

Joe from Karate Club

Dear Marcus,

I'm sorry to tell you son but you really do look like your picture. I blame your Dad.

Love,

Mum.

dear marcus

we are running low on rent so i had to sell all your action figures, and portraits of your big brother profile picture.
now remember don't talk with your mouth full and keep your finger out your nose.
lots of love
mummy xxxx

quote:

Originally posted by tupps:
Dear Marcus,

I'm sorry to tell you son but you really do look like your picture. I blame your Dad.

Love,

Mum.

P.S. whoever he was

PS, at the time I posted, I didn't know Marcus had fanmail from someone called Cat Woman

quote:

Originally posted by DanceSettee:
Dear Dave

I only wanted 2 and 8 for the National down at th'Mecca last night. Thought you'd like to know

Please hurry back, my Stannah needs oiling and i'm running low on Tenas

all my love
Elsie from t'Bingo xxxx

pmsl!!

Dear bea,

You are bringing shame on the family and your friends. Please tape your big mouth shut until you come out and preferably afterwards.

from your family and friends.

Dear Freddy,

Hang in there son. You have been a source of joy and pride to us. Whatever happens, you can hold your head up high.

Love Mum and Dad