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My Youngest has got in with a bad yin, shes only 11, but this girl would cause trouble in an empty house, shes been expelled from school, had several warnings also from school, and still the havoc continues. Now we have stopped for summer holidays and they are both starting high school in August, this girl continues to upset my daughter on a daily basis, and i really dont want my daughter playing with her any more, how can i politely tell this girl to leave my daughter alone without making the situation worse for my daughter......Can anyone advise please...... Confused

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Can you arrange for your daughter to go to a summer day club, or other organised activities?

I would also have a chat with her parents and explain that she upsets your daughter. If that fails and she keeps turning up, don't answer the door.

She might move onto someone else soon.

I've had the same problem in the past with a wee pest who, if she wasn't 'phoning, was coming round, even waiting in our garden if we weren't there!
H
quote:
Originally posted by Charli:
Awww I feel for your daughter Frowner Hug

In the meantime you can tell your daughter to avoid the other girl if she can. And when school starts you can talk to one of her teachers.

May seem stupid but I'm only a teenager myself Blush sorry Frowner

Good luck whatever you do Hug


Doesn't seem stupid to me Charli... sounds like good advice Nod
Baz
quote:
Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
This sounds like it might be a LOT more complicated than appears above. Wonder why she behaves so badly? And wonder why your daughter wants to be 'friends' with her?


My daughter was asked to look after at school because she was the new girl, didnt know then she was expelled from the other school, and shes latched onto my daughter since then..... Frowner
ozzycam
I would maybe get your daughter involved in activites away from this girl so your daughter is still going out etc but is no where near her.

HAVE girlie nights in with your daughter

let her meet up with other friends well away from her

If she calls tell her she has plans for today canot come out this type of thing

hopefully she will get message

and hopefully she will not be in same class as her maybe you could sort that out with school

Let maybe your daughters cousins stay over or she go to other friends

and maybe she will get message

she will be off looking for her same type of crowd to get into trouble with and your daughter will become hopefully boring to her
C
Tell her your daughter is grounded and not allowed to have friends round to play. Explain to your daughter why you don't want her to play with this girl. I had a similar situation with my son, who started high school this year. I asked him straight to stay away from a particular boy because of the way he behaved. This boy has been in an awful lot of trouble and I am so glad that my son stayed away from him.
S
quote:
Originally posted by shar69:
Tell her your daughter is grounded and not allowed to have friends round to play. Explain to your daughter why you don't want her to play with this girl. I had a similar situation with my son, who started high school this year. I asked him straight to stay away from a particular boy because of the way he behaved. This boy has been in an awful lot of trouble and I am so glad that my son stayed away from him.


Yes ive thought of that, i would rather she was safe in the house with me she too would rather stay inside than go out to play but this girl is so nasty she will turn everyone else against her, its happening at the moment......Thanks for the advice Shar .....Hope it works Nod
ozzycam
I would say you need to put some distance between your daughter and this other girl. If you outright ban your daughter from playing with this girl then she could go behind your back and also if this girl is the troublesome type you describe she could also cause bother for your daughter when she returns to school. Is there a relative you could send her to for a short holiday during the school holls, or enrol her at a summer club as its been suggested here. Or take her on lots of outings during the holls and hopefully this troublesome girl will move on to somebody else if your daughter is out of the picture quite a bit. You could also tell this girl your daughter is not coming out if she comes knocking at your door. When my daughter was a similar age she fell in with 'bad girl' and her school work worsened and her attitude at school so much so that her teachers were concerned enought to mention it to me at the parents evening. I found out that my daughter was gonna be in the same class as this girl when they graduated to secondary school and on the advice of the primary school teacher I went up to the secondary school and asked if my daughter could go into a diff class, explained the reasons why and they were very considerate and did infact move my daughter so this was sufficient to put a clink in the friendship and thankfully the friendship fizzled out. The primary school teacher described this girl as the 'rotten apple in the barrel' and said that whoever she palled up with ended up getting into bother so it was a freindship I was not wanting to encourage. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
ZAYLEE
quote:
Originally posted by ozzycam:
quote:
Originally posted by shar69:
Tell her your daughter is grounded and not allowed to have friends round to play. Explain to your daughter why you don't want her to play with this girl. I had a similar situation with my son, who started high school this year. I asked him straight to stay away from a particular boy because of the way he behaved. This boy has been in an awful lot of trouble and I am so glad that my son stayed away from him.


Yes ive thought of that, i would rather she was safe in the house with me she too would rather stay inside than go out to play but this girl is so nasty she will turn everyone else against her, its happening at the moment......Thanks for the advice Shar .....Hope it works Nod


The trick is to get your daughter to play along with the grounded, 'my mum is mean, she grounded me'. That way the girl will hopefully, be less likely to make her a target.
S
quote:
Originally posted by cup:
I would maybe get your daughter involved in activites away from this girl so your daughter is still going out etc but is no where near her.

HAVE girlie nights in with your daughter

let her meet up with other friends well away from her

If she calls tell her she has plans for today canot come out this type of thing

hopefully she will get message

and hopefully she will not be in same class as her maybe you could sort that out with school

Let maybe your daughters cousins stay over or she go to other friends

and maybe she will get message

she will be off looking for her same type of crowd to get into trouble with and your daughter will become hopefully boring to her


Ive packed her off to her cousins just now for a few days to take her mind off things great minds think alike eh.......Thanks cup Hug
ozzycam
quote:
Originally posted by Hypermnesia:
Can you arrange for your daughter to go to a summer day club, or other organised activities?

I would also have a chat with her parents and explain that she upsets your daughter. If that fails and she keeps turning up, don't answer the door.

She might move onto someone else soon.

I've had the same problem in the past with a wee pest who, if she wasn't 'phoning, was coming round, even waiting in our garden if we weren't there!


Her parents are not the type you want to get involved with, and she also waits in the garden if we are out, and phones non stop a bunny boiler...... Nod
ozzycam
Worrying.... but i'm inclined to believe there's good in everyone. This is only a child herself. 11 yrs old is very young. Is there no one for this other girl to look up to for guidance? I feel sorry for her too. There has to be a reason for her bad behaviour, it's a shame there doesn't seem to be anyone looking out for her.

From past experience ive always found no matter what you do your child will carry on being aquainted with her 'friend'. I remember being tormented at school (yrs ago) by a girl and my mother intervening on my behalf. Only for me to become bossom buddies with the girl and my mother and her mother never spoke for years over it!

Hopefully over the summer holiday's they will cool off and move on. I'm really sorry for your worry though. Frowner
Bethni
quote:
Originally posted by ZAYLEE:
I would say you need to put some distance between your daughter and this other girl. If you outright ban your daughter from playing with this girl then she could go behind your back and also if this girl is the troublesome type you describe she could also cause bother for your daughter when she returns to school. Is there a relative you could send her to for a short holiday during the school holls, or enrol her at a summer club as its been suggested here. Or take her on lots of outings during the holls and hopefully this troublesome girl will move on to somebody else if your daughter is out of the picture quite a bit. You could also tell this girl your daughter is not coming out if she comes knocking at your door. When my daughter was a similar age she fell in with 'bad girl' and her school work worsened and her attitude at school so much so that her teachers were concerned enought to mention it to me at the parents evening. I found out that my daughter was gonna be in the same class as this girl when they graduated to secondary school and on the advice of the primary school teacher I went up to the secondary school and asked if my daughter could go into a diff class, explained the reasons why and they were very considerate and did infact move my daughter so this was sufficient to put a clink in the friendship and thankfully the friendship fizzled out. The primary school teacher described this girl as the 'rotten apple in the barrel' and said that whoever she palled up with ended up getting into bother so it was a freindship I was not wanting to encourage. Good luck and let us know how you get on.


This is exactly what i had in mind, she staying with family at the moment and i will be taking her out more often, during the holidays, but im so worried about the school situation, i wont thinks twice about speaking to a teacher, after all if they dont know theres a problem they wont do anything about it.......Thanks for the help Zaylee.....I will cross my fingers Wink
ozzycam
quote:
Originally posted by ozzycam:
quote:
Originally posted by cup:
I would maybe get your daughter involved in activites away from this girl so your daughter is still going out etc but is no where near her.

HAVE girlie nights in with your daughter

let her meet up with other friends well away from her

If she calls tell her she has plans for today canot come out this type of thing

hopefully she will get message

and hopefully she will not be in same class as her maybe you could sort that out with school

Let maybe your daughters cousins stay over or she go to other friends

and maybe she will get message

she will be off looking for her same type of crowd to get into trouble with and your daughter will become hopefully boring to her


Ive packed her off to her cousins just now for a few days to take her mind off things great minds think alike eh.......Thanks cup Hug


it is worrying because you dont want to rock the boat and then she turn on your daughter

But let us know how you get on hopefully it will all die down

and make it harder and harder for her to be with your daughter

let us know how things go pray she gets fed up and finds someone esle
Hug
C
quote:
Originally posted by Bethni:
Worrying.... but i'm inclined to believe there's good in everyone. This is only a child herself. 11 yrs old is very young. Is there no one for this other girl to look up to for guidance? I feel sorry for her too. There has to be a reason for her bad behaviour, it's a shame there doesn't seem to be anyone looking out for her.

From past experience ive always found no matter what you do your child will carry on being aquainted with her 'friend'. I remember being tormented at school (yrs ago) by a girl and my mother intervening on my behalf. Only for me to become bossom buddies with the girl and my mother and her mother never spoke for years over it!

Hopefully over the summer holiday's they will cool off and move on. I'm really sorry for your worry though. Frowner


I too felt sorry for her at times but ive found out shes been stealing from my house, when we invited her in for dinner or to play with my daughter, i gave her the benefit of the doubt and i was sickened at the thought of her stealing things.....I will just need to keep my chin up for the sake of my daughter Wink
ozzycam
quote:
Originally posted by ozzycam:
quote:
Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
This sounds like it might be a LOT more complicated than appears above. Wonder why she behaves so badly? And wonder why your daughter wants to be 'friends' with her?


My daughter was asked to look after at school because she was the new girl, didnt know then she was expelled from the other school, and shes latched onto my daughter since then..... Frowner


I think that the school should intervene. Why should you and your daughter be landed with this? It was their fault it happened in the first place. Did they even tell your daughter of this girl's history? I really think that is disgusting ozzy, the school's problem is now yours Shake Head
Puss
quote:
Originally posted by pussycatj:
quote:
Originally posted by ozzycam:
quote:
Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
This sounds like it might be a LOT more complicated than appears above. Wonder why she behaves so badly? And wonder why your daughter wants to be 'friends' with her?


My daughter was asked to look after at school because she was the new girl, didnt know then she was expelled from the other school, and shes latched onto my daughter since then..... Frowner


I think that the school should intervene. Why should you and your daughter be landed with this? It was their fault it happened in the first place. Did they even tell your daughter of this girl's history? I really think that is disgusting ozzy, the school's problem is now yours Shake Head


I totally agree, she threatened my daughter one day at school she told my daughter she was going to hit her over the head with a brick after school, i went next day to see head master and the only punishment she got was to be sent home early from school 1 hour before everyone else.....Its sickening it took me ages to get my daughter in to school after that
ozzycam
I feel for you Ozzy, Im in a similar position with my son who is only six and im trying everything to keep them apart but in a nice way if you know what i mean and im doing similar things to what most have already suggested taking him days out and to his nan's and visiting my friends who have kids ages with mine so they can play and telling the little bou when he comes to the door that my sons not coming out because he's going away or something like that im glad i have 7 weeks summer hols but its when they go back to school that im worrying about, The other wee boy isnt bad to the bone but lacks discipline from his parents, he swears alot and they just laugh and think its funny and he also hits out alot with his hands and feet and can sometimes be quite nasty with words and nothing gets done, Im also friendly with his mum and have talked about it to her but it comes across like her son does no wrong or she'll just say I know and its left there, The teachers have seperated them in class because of this other boys behaviour and have told me to work on my son over the holidays because he's easily lead so im just spending time going over and over things with him hoping he'll understand by the time he goes back to school, Hope things work out for the best for both of us Ozzy
Thingy
quote:
Originally posted by ozzycam:
quote:
Originally posted by pussycatj:
quote:
Originally posted by ozzycam:
quote:
Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
This sounds like it might be a LOT more complicated than appears above. Wonder why she behaves so badly? And wonder why your daughter wants to be 'friends' with her?


My daughter was asked to look after at school because she was the new girl, didnt know then she was expelled from the other school, and shes latched onto my daughter since then..... Frowner


I think that the school should intervene. Why should you and your daughter be landed with this? It was their fault it happened in the first place. Did they even tell your daughter of this girl's history? I really think that is disgusting ozzy, the school's problem is now yours Shake Head


I totally agree, she threatened my daughter one day at school she told my daughter she was going to hit her over the head with a brick after school, i went next day to see head master and the only punishment she got was to be sent home early from school 1 hour before everyone else.....Its sickening it took me ages to get my daughter in to school after that


I would get in touch with the school immediately and tell them how she is effecting your daughter and get the girl removed from the school completely. That is terrible.
Puss
quote:
Originally posted by VelvetHaze:
I feel for you Ozzy, Im in a similar position with my son who is only six and im trying everything to keep them apart but in a nice way if you know what i mean and im doing similar things to what most have already suggested taking him days out and to his nan's and visiting my friends who have kids ages with mine so they can play and telling the little bou when he comes to the door that my sons not coming out because he's going away or something like that im glad i have 7 weeks summer hols but its when they go back to school that im worrying about, The other wee boy isnt bad to the bone but lacks discipline from his parents, he swears alot and they just laugh and think its funny and he also hits out alot with his hands and feet and can sometimes be quite nasty with words and nothing gets done, Im also friendly with his mum and have talked about it to her but it comes across like her son does no wrong or she'll just say I know and its left there, The teachers have seperated them in class because of this other boys behaviour and have told me to work on my son over the holidays because he's easily lead so im just spending time going over and over things with him hoping he'll understand by the time he goes back to school, Hope things work out for the best for both of us Ozzy


I feel for you too, Velvet every day i ask the same question why are some kids so cruel, its so hurtful......You try and have a nice summer too..... Hug
ozzycam

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