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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
TEQUILA!
TEQUILA!
quote:Originally posted by The Secretary:
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
TEQUILA!
6 out of ten. Good effort
They have aired the first ever showing of the Flintstones on TV in Dubai. They didn't like it, but Abu Dhabi do.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
quote:Originally posted by jonono:
They have aired the first ever showing of the Flintstones on TV in Dubai. They didn't like it, but Abu Dhabi do.
Dont get it 
quote:Originally posted by mirageuk:
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
Hee hee made me giggle 6 out of 10
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side
To get to the other side
quote:Originally posted by Sexy_Kelly:quote:Originally posted by mirageuk:
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
Hee hee made me giggle 6 out of 10
No way is that worth the same as the tequila joke
Whats the definition of innocence?
A nun working in a condomn factory thinking shes making sleeping bags for mice!
A nun working in a condomn factory thinking shes making sleeping bags for mice!
Two biscuits walking down the road. One biscuit says to the other, "where do you live then?" The other biscuit said "I'm not telling you, you might nick me washing." 
What do you call an Irish man who keeps breaking up fights?
Liam Malone.
Liam Malone.
A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices the guy has a very large Bic cigarette lighter.
The first guy says "Wow, cool lighter... where did you get it?"
The guy replies "A genie from a bottle granted me one wish."
"Great, can I try it?"
"Sure." The first guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears.
"You are granted one wish" says the genie.
The guy says, "I want a million bucks!"
"Done" says the genie and disappears. A few minutes go by and suddenly the bar door swings open and pouring in come ducks. Thousands and thousands of ducks falling all over each other through the bar door.
"I can't believe this," says the guy who had just placed his wish, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
The second guy then says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12" Bic?"
The first guy says "Wow, cool lighter... where did you get it?"
The guy replies "A genie from a bottle granted me one wish."
"Great, can I try it?"
"Sure." The first guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears.
"You are granted one wish" says the genie.
The guy says, "I want a million bucks!"
"Done" says the genie and disappears. A few minutes go by and suddenly the bar door swings open and pouring in come ducks. Thousands and thousands of ducks falling all over each other through the bar door.
"I can't believe this," says the guy who had just placed his wish, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
The second guy then says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12" Bic?"
I like Tupps' the best - although the sandwich one is a close second
This one always makes me giggle 
How do you get Pikachu on a train??
PokÃĐmon
How do you get Pikachu on a train??
PokÃĐmon
A man walks into a showroom to buy a Harley Davidson, and after much consideration opts for a very nice model.
The salesman is very pleased and offers the man a few words of advice. He tells him to always carry a jar of
Vaseline in his pocket and if he knows it is going to rain to smear the Vaseline all over the bodywork of the bike
in order to prevent rust. The man drives his Harley off and is as happy as anything.
A few weeks later the man and his girlfriend drive the Harley to her parents house where the man is to meet them for the first time. The girlfriend tells him that they have a rule in her house that the first person who speaks after dinner has to wash the dishes. They have a lovely meal and afterwards there is nothing but silence form all around the table.
This silence goes on for about an hour and the man decides that he has to do something to make someone break the silence, so he grabs his girlfriend and kisses her passionately. Still no one says a word. He then decides that he's going to get jiggy with her right there on the dining room table. Again no one says a word.
Getting very frustrated at the continued silence he decides to get jiggy with the mother on the table, nobody says anything. At this point the man can hear that it is starting to rain so he pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket to which the father shouts.. OK, OK I'll do the damn dishes!?
The salesman is very pleased and offers the man a few words of advice. He tells him to always carry a jar of
Vaseline in his pocket and if he knows it is going to rain to smear the Vaseline all over the bodywork of the bike
in order to prevent rust. The man drives his Harley off and is as happy as anything.
A few weeks later the man and his girlfriend drive the Harley to her parents house where the man is to meet them for the first time. The girlfriend tells him that they have a rule in her house that the first person who speaks after dinner has to wash the dishes. They have a lovely meal and afterwards there is nothing but silence form all around the table.
This silence goes on for about an hour and the man decides that he has to do something to make someone break the silence, so he grabs his girlfriend and kisses her passionately. Still no one says a word. He then decides that he's going to get jiggy with her right there on the dining room table. Again no one says a word.
Getting very frustrated at the continued silence he decides to get jiggy with the mother on the table, nobody says anything. At this point the man can hear that it is starting to rain so he pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket to which the father shouts.. OK, OK I'll do the damn dishes!?
quote:Someone tell me a joke
gordon brown and the labour party.
sadly its a very expensive and unfunny joke.
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
quote:Originally posted by mirageuk:
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Love that
John Wayne rides in into town, dismounts his horse, walk behind it, lifts its tail and gives it a big smacking kiss on the pucker, before heading on into the saloon.
"Why'd you do that?" says a bloke who was watching.
"Kez I got chapped lips," says the Duke.
"Dez that cure 'em?" asks the bloke.
"Nope," says JW. "But it sure stops me lickin' 'em."
"Why'd you do that?" says a bloke who was watching.
"Kez I got chapped lips," says the Duke.
"Dez that cure 'em?" asks the bloke.
"Nope," says JW. "But it sure stops me lickin' 'em."